Dad Shares How A Pumpkin In The Grocery Store Made The ‘Empty Nester Blues’ Finally Feel Real — ‘It Just Changes Everything’
Sometimes, feelings creep up when we least expect them.
New Africa | Shutterstock As teens have either left for college or are preparing to, and young adults are moving out of their parent's house for good, it's common for parents and guardians to experience feelings of loneliness, grief, and concern. Those emotions can be summed up as empty nest syndrome, and while young adults will eventually come home, either for the holidays or random visits, it just won't be the same.
Sometimes it can take a bit of time before the feelings of being an empty nester hit home, and for a father-of-two named Jeff Pearlman, that ended up being the case. In a TikTok video, Pearlman claimed that he didn't start feeling those things until a random trip to the grocery store brought them all up.
He shared how a pumpkin at the grocery store made the 'empty nester blues' painfully real.
Pearlman explained that he'd dropped his son off at college a couple of days ago, and during a trip to the store right after, he noticed there were a bunch of pumpkins laid out for the upcoming fall season. It hit a nerve for him because when his children were young, he would pick out pumpkins with them.
"And I'm here, and I see dads and moms with their kids in the cart, and it used to be me with my kids in the cart," Pearlman recalled. "And, it actually hit me really hard that the house is empty and little things that you take for granted as a parent. Taking your kids to the supermarket."
He pointed out that at the time, it seemed like such a pain to bring your child along with you to the grocery store, especially if they were loud or begging for every little thing they saw on the shelf.
But now, as a parent with children living their own independent lives away from home, Pearlman encouraged parents to cherish those moments because, eventually, they won't happen anymore — at least not in the same way that they used to.
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"But now I'm here by myself in the supermarket. And there's not that much to buy actually because I don't have two kids at home anymore ... and I'm looking at Halloween candy, but they're not going to give a [expletive]. They're not here," he continued.
"It just changes everything, and it is an adjustment. I just want to say, if you live with your kids at home, please appreciate them and understand it goes very fast."
Experts encourage parents to look on the bright side of having an empty nest.
Empty Nest syndrome is described as a psychological condition that brings on feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and grief. Additionally, there are cases of parents turning to substances or other negative behaviors to cope with these feelings of sadness.
According to Mindful Health Solutions, 25% of parents will experience Empty Nest Syndrome.
However, in an interview with CNBC, Kari Cardinale, partner and chief content officer at Modern Elder Academy, a midlife wisdom school, explained that parents with an empty nest can lead to a new chapter in their lives where they can discover their own interests outside of their children and being caregivers for a majority of their lives.
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She insisted that the empty nest stage is a "really important time to focus on the interests that you might have, whether it’s an interest in traveling and meeting other people, or interests in arts or fitness," and to realize that "you have more freedom" than you may think to pursue those interests.
It's important to "engage in those activities with other people [and] to start building a new network of adult friendships that you can nurture for many decades to come."
Of course, it's easier said than done, and you shouldn't push down those feelings of sadness at being an empty nester. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel, but remember that being a parent doesn't just stop because they're not living under your roof anymore.
Through all of the emotions, just try and hold on to those special memories that were made before they flew the coop.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.