Psychology Says These 8 Phrases Will Attract Someone Who Will Truly Love You

Let’s be honest here. Sometimes, the things that seem so “normal” and taken for granted are the most difficult.

Dating to find lasting love is one of those things. It’s so easy to assume that people just magically find someone to love, marry, and create a family with.

But for marriage-minded people, the search isn’t necessarily so easy. This is why using positive affirmations to give yourself the confidence you need can help you find love.

Here are eight phrases psychology says will attract the one who will truly love you

1. "I'm OK with being single in this phase of life, but open to partnership when the time is right."

If you're single and looking for lifelong love, you instinctively know you need to be fortified from the inside out. You need to steep yourself in the knowledge you are an awesome human, just as you are. And you need to know being single isn’t a curse, it’s simply a state of life.

2. "I am worthy of love and affection."

This is perhaps the most important affirmation and, therefore, the perfect starting place for positive self-talk, as suggested by research in Scientific Reports.

“I am worthy.” Why is this so important? Because it is the ultimate expression of your self-worth.

Those who struggle the most with love and intimacy are often plagued by an underlying belief that they’re unworthy of love.

Perhaps they grew up in an emotionally abusive home. Perhaps they are used to hearing criticism that connects to the withholding of love.

A person who doesn’t feel worthy of love will probably not know how to receive — and ultimately give — love. By validating your worthiness of love, you open yourself to the countless ways that life will love you.

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3. "I deserve to be treated well, and others will recognize this."

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As you head into the dating world, you will meet all kinds of people. Even if you do a good job of reading and screening people, you’ll still encounter uncomfortable situations.

Your self-respect will be challenged, and you may have to choose between your dignity and a person of interest.

A study in the Journal of Personality supports that when you tell yourself regularly you deserve to be treated well, you place a non-negotiable on your interactions. You naturally select the company of those who recognize and honor your worth.

As the saying goes, “You teach people how to treat you."

4. "I’m confident and comfortable with who I am."

Confidence is perhaps the most attractive quality a person can have, as suggested by a study in Evolutionary Psychology Journal. It shows in everything you do and shines through every relationship — love, friendship, family, work.

It’s the magnetic energy that draws people to you and makes them want to be around you and, like you.

Confidence has nothing to do with looking a certain way or being “the best” at everything you do. It has to do with how you feel about yourself.

It’s about your readiness to put the best of yourself out into the world without attachment to what you assume the world expects or accepts.

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5. "My heart is open and ready to receive someone into my life."

If you’ve had a history of bad experiences in the world of romance, you may feel a bit jaded. Even if you want (or think you want) a relationship, you may be putting up barriers to the opportunity.

It’s only natural to become a little more skeptical or cynical to protect your heart. And some of that caution is wise to have.

However, if you start casting a wide net of judgment or find you’re being reclusive out of fear, then your heart may not be open to love.

If “the one” showed up today, would you recognize them? And would you be ready to seize the opportunity and move forward with the relationship?

6. "Every person I meet is teaching me what I want and don’t want in a relationship."

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What a wonderful attitude to have!

Dating is, to some extent, a numbers game. You will meet a bunch of people in person and online. And you’ll go on at least one or two dates with a bunch of people.

Whether you swipe left after one meeting or swipe right to see where things lead, everyone you meet has something to teach you. You may learn as much about what you don’t like as you do about what you love.

Most importantly, you’ll learn things about yourself you can only learn in the context of meeting different potential mates.

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7. "I don’t need a person in my life to complete me. I'm perfectly fine being on my own."

Before you say, “Yeah, and really, I don’t want to be alone!” think about the message you’re sending.

When people see you enjoying life on your terms and doing what matters to you, they see a person who “has it together.”

You’re standing on your own two feet, being true to yourself. And you’re giving others the safe space to do the same instead of trampling on them with your neediness, as shown by a study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

This affirmation is just another form of confidence, and that’s such an attractive quality!

8. "I'm not broken, and I don't need someone to fix me."

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Research published in Springer Science Journal helps explain the importance of self-acceptance and how no one has to come along and fix your life or rescue you. You’re already good and ready to meet someone good, as well. And that’s the making of a true power couple!

Once you’re able to embrace your truly amazing qualities in the present, the relationship you desire will move closer to the present, too.

When you have goals that go beyond simply “having a good time” and not being alone, the stakes get higher. Your dating life takes on a greater purpose, and you’ll need all the positive kudos you can get.

Add the reality of "operant conditioning," or bad dating experiences make you less likely to want to continue putting yourself out there, and the influence of repeated experiences and dating suddenly doesn’t seem so easy-peasy.

At the end of the day, love-and-marriage hopefuls need more than just a reveille of “Get out there!” to help them succeed. Chances are, you're already “out there” experiencing the ups and mostly downs of the search for love.

While self-affirmations may seem gimmicky and like leftover psycho-babble from the ‘90s, there's science to back them up.

What you tell yourself can change how you feel about yourself! So, it makes sense that it can also change your dating life. After all, the relationship you have with others starts with the relationship you have with yourself.

Remember, practice makes perfect. These are more than just occasional Post-It notes for your bathroom mirror. They are intended to become part of your internal dialogue and belief system.

The beauty of positive affirmations is they’ll work their magic in the place that matters most: Within yourself, as explained by a study from the American Psychological Association.

None of them have anything to do with changing other people. And interestingly, they aren’t even about changing yourself. They’re about recognizing, accepting, and loving yourself as you were created to be.

Positive affirmations take what you may think “should be” and express it as “already is.” They keep you from wishful thinking (and procrastinating) and place you in front of the mirror of acceptance and self-love.

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Amy Schoen is a D.C.-based national expert in dating and relationship coaching who's helped countless couples find love.