11 Phrases Bad Bosses Say Way Too Often
Their misguided perspectives cultivate a toxic workplace culture.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock.com Outside of low pay and insufficient opportunities for growth, one of the most influential reasons employees decide to leave their jobs is a bad boss, at least according to a 2021 Pew Research Center study on resignations. From the phrases bad bosses say way too often to the toxic workplace cultures they cultivate, it’s unsettlingly common for employees to experience across industries.
Patterns of ineffective leadership and unwieldy power dynamics are common. Still, as employees learn to prioritize their well-being, work-life balance, and boundaries in the office better, expectations will surely start to change, especially as younger generations like Gen Z enter the workforce and demand a shift.
Here are 11 phrases bad bosses say way too often:
1. ‘We’ve never done it that way’
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Great leaders navigate through change while supporting their employees rather than forcing them to conform to rigid regulations and expectations that don’t suit their happiness, fulfillment, or productivity. Research on “social change” in the workplace from the Stanford Social Innovation Review outlines three types of successful bosses who open themselves up to the benefits of change at work: agitators, innovators, and orchestrators.
While agitators and orchestrators focus on sharing team ideas, problem-solving issues, and bringing new plans to fruition, innovators link creativity with practicality across their teams. When a lousy boss is closed off to innovative new ideas, they’re not just failing to support their employees but closing themselves off to new success, ideas, and a more fulfilling workplace culture.
2. ‘Just figure it out’
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Collaboration at work is fundamental for a healthy workplace culture. Leaders should craft clear expectations and regulations that support their teams and give workers peace of mind—regardless of the task or the complexity of a project.
Your workplace can be a space for individual productivity and success, but that doesn’t mean leadership isn’t still responsible for supporting their teams.
3. ‘I don’t pay you to think’
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Leaving your creativity, connection, and humanness at the door when you arrive at work harms not only your productivity but also your mental health and identity in the office.
Employees aren’t hired to follow their boss’s orders — at least, not in a healthy workplace culture — so when a boss urges employees to set aside their uniqueness and complex thinking, they’re quietly hoping that you’ll blindly follow their manipulative orders and misguided regulations.
According to HR expert Liz Ryan, building trust at work starts with meeting and accepting employees where they are rather than forcing sacrifice over compromise.
4. ‘We are a family here’
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While many reach for the concept of family to feel security, connection, or camaraderie at work, the general toxicity and manipulation that a “family dynamic” can spark in the workplace does much more harm than good. From office husbands to grandfathered-in managers, the pitfalls of a family culture often manifest in unhealthy, competitive, and manipulative ways.
A bad boss who exerts this kind of dynamic on their teams often yearns to overstep into their personal lives, hoping they’ll put in longer hours or sacrifice their well-being for productivity in the name of community.
5. ‘It’s best to keep salary information private’
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Younger generations of workers are trailblazing new governmental regulations protecting employees' right to pay transparency in the workplace. While studies like the one from “Pay Transparency: Why It Is Important To Be Thoughtful and Strategic” argue that these regulations can promote managerial trust and reduce employee turnover, they also have the potential to spark confusion and concern.
Even with the occasional negative outcome, bosses don’t have the power to restrict your access to pay transparency and compensation information at your company.
You deserve to advocate for fair compensation, even if that means urging HR to send compensation reports or asking your co-workers about their salary information. Especially when it’s often used as a manipulation tactic, don’t let a lousy boss sway you from accessing your right-to-understand information.
6. ‘I’m not feeling well, but I’ll power through’
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Employment studies from the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology argue that “presenteeism,” the act of attending work while sick, takes two primary forms: voluntary presenteeism and involuntary. When workers voluntarily show up to work sick, like a boss, they show higher levels of work engagement, while involuntary workers tend to exhibit the opposite pattern.
While a boss who frequently comes to work sick on their own accord might be more productive, that same pattern can’t be used to explain an employee on their team who’s forced to refuse sick leave. You’re entitled to your sick leave, PTO, and vacation time, even when you have a fragile and overbearing boss.
7. ‘You’re being too sensitive’
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Experts, like the authors of “Rehumanizing the Workplace: Future-Proofing Your Organization While Restoring Hope,” argue that our modern world, riddled with insecurity and chaos, has urged individuals and employees to operate from a place of self-preservation and scarcity, forcing them to put their humanness aside.
While separation of identity between work and personal life can be healthy for balance, this general disconnect dehumanizes work cultures and affects everyone’s well-being. Bringing your sensitivity, personality, and compassion to work is essential, especially when interacting with others and connecting across industries and roles.
Workplace studies from Gallup argue that employees want to be recognized and “known” for what makes them unique — you deserve to advocate for yourself, in the truest sense of your workplace identity, without feeling burdened by a bad boss’s misguided view of humanness.
8. ‘We need to do more with less’
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Many ineffective leaders who fail to advocate for their team’s needs and security will offload their responsibilities and burdens onto their employees. This is one of those phrases that bad bosses say too often: “Do more with less,” when in reality, they’re not advocating for healthy support, reasonable workloads, and timelines that make sense for their teams.
Bad bosses expect their employees to “pick up the slack,” work longer hours, and sacrifice their personal time for the company’s betterment when they should be better at guiding the ship.
9. ‘It sounds like a you problem’
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A study from Cambridge University Press argues that a manager’s ability to successfully detach from work during non-working hours can help to promote healthier psychological well-being and work-life balance in their teams. However, a boss who’s detached at work is only harming general morale.
If your boss is flooding your inbox with emails, failing to support your struggles, and leaving you isolated when your workload gets heavy, they’re detached from their true leadership role. If you’re struggling at work, it’s an issue that your boss should be navigating alongside you, not in competition with you.
10. ‘I’m here working for free while you’re on vacation’
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Great bosses prioritize their team’s work-life balance above all else, genuinely understanding that employees can’t show up at their best if they’re not given the freedom to enjoy their personal time. While these bosses are admittedly few and far between, a study from the Leadership & Organization Development Journal argues they’ll never wield more power than “bad” bosses in influencing their employees.
While they’re often putting on a persona with a phrase like this one to promote misguided productivity on your team, a “bad boss” could easily be sacrificing their own identity, well-being, and health for success in their role. That doesn’t mean you have to do the same.
Employees who set boundaries and refuse to accept pressure like this condescending phrase will perform better and protect their sanity in the long run.
11. ‘That’s just a part of the job’
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If a boss constantly talks about work-life balance but hasn't touched your vacation request from months ago, chances are they don’t practice what they preach. The same goes for workloads and job descriptions — if they’re vague, they’re probably taking advantage of you.
The fewer written responsibilities and clear-cut regulations they have to manage you with, the more they can expect from you. As a Harvard Business Review investigation of “task-switching” for first responders exemplifies, even for corporate offices, switching between teams and responsibilities isn’t healthy for anyone.
If you’re overly stressed, worried about picking up other people’s slack, or have a workload that’s far too large, confusing, or overwhelming to manage alone, don’t let your manager gaslight you into thinking it’s something you signed up for. A great boss's main priority should be working — if that means supporting employees and helping to manage their team’s stress, that’s what they should be focused on doing.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.