The One Thing To Remember About A Toxic Boss That Will Make Your ‘Sunday Scaries’ Go Away
Sundays should never be ruined by the prospect of work on Monday.
Look Studio / Shutterstock Work anxiety is a very real experience: It’s that sinking feeling you get as Saturday rolls into Sunday, and you know that Monday is just around the corner, with all its tasks and responsibilities.
While the sense of impending dread can arrive even if you like your job, it can feel especially amplified if you don’t.
Yet, talking back to that stressed-out voice in your head can work wonders.
There’s one thing to remember about a toxic boss to make your ‘Sunday scaries’ disappear.
A woman named Ciara shared the work mindset that keeps her grounded and lessens her stress. Her TikTok presence is centered on the mantra “Be Your Own Boss,” an outlook that both boosts confidence and lets employees relax a little.
She’s reframed the way she sees her own toxic boss, and she wants to spread the word and help others do the same. Ciara believes that a toxic boss is someone without a life of their own, so they make work their entire existence.
“I tell myself that they’re a loser,” she said. “You have no life; you’re only making this a toxic environment so that you feel like you have control over something in your life.”
“If you are belittling someone younger than you instead of being a mentor and an inspiring figure to look up to ... I don’t have any respect for you,” she continued.
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By creating “this mental separation” from her work, Ciara permitted herself to care a little less. She does her work, and then she leaves, giving herself a mental break from that part of her life.
As she explained, “I don’t get paid enough for this [expletive]; you can’t be treating me like this if my paycheck doesn’t reflect an emotional tax on it. I can’t afford to go to therapy, so I’m not gonna let myself be consumed by this [expletive].”
Ciara spoke from her own experience, noting that, at one point, her work felt all-consuming.
“It was consuming my lunch hour, it was consuming me obviously during my work hours, it was consuming outside of work hours,” she said. “I would fall asleep thinking about my [expletive] to-do list.”
She shifted her outlook on work in a way that allowed her to separate her sense of self from her job.
“I started working my wage because I realized I don’t get paid enough for this [expletive],” she said.
Ciara emphasized that “It’s all a mental thing.”
Employees shouldn’t give their whole selves to their jobs. As Ciara said, “Stop caring because it’s really not that deep.”
She also shared the practical techniques she’s implemented throughout her day to achieve more work-life balance. For example, she goes outside for an hour each day “to make sure that I have separation in my work day.”
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She moves her body to let go of some of the “built-up tension” that she holds inside.
She’s also cultivated a relationship with her co-workers, whom she feels comfortable venting with, noting that “having a community” helps immensely, even if it’s people outside of work.
“It’s hard not to take things personally, being a woman in general,” Ciara acknowledged. “But as my CEO said while we were on a meeting one time with him, with cameras on, and he was ripping into us, he said, ‘Don’t take this [personally],’ even though he was personally attacking us.”
Since then, she’s divided her actual work from who she’s working for, saying, “I don’t really care to bust my [expletive] for you… This is not my life. We are here for a paycheck.”
In a related post, Ciara reminded followers that work doesn’t have to define who you are, even if your toxic boss thinks it does.
“I do look at my boss like a clown because she cares so much about things happening, and I’m just like, honestly, even if stuff goes wrong, I just don’t care.”
“This is just not my livelihood,” she reiterated. “I’m just here for a paycheck. I am working for my dream life outside of my job.”
Most adults, aside from the President, surgeons, and pilots, have jobs that are just not that urgent. Reframing how we fit work into the rest of our lives can ease some of our anxiety and remind us that we all hold value and that our jobs don’t define our worth.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and the entertainment industry in general.