Couples Who Actually Stay In Love For A Lifetime Do 8 Things Differently
They aren't always easy, but it's totally worth it.
Pro100artem / Shutterstock I strongly believe that we have to take care of ourselves first in order to let somebody into our lives who will look in the same direction. And then together we can co-create a beautiful life day-by-day.
There are secrets to why two people in a relationship stay in love, while so many others end up broken up or divorced. And those couples just do things differently.
The 8 things couples who stay madly in love forever do differently.
1. They respect each other.
We all are different people with different minds, hobbies, thoughts, views, tastes. We are so multifaceted and we change moment by moment. But regardless of differences, respect is the foundation for any relationship to succeed.
Respecting each other as human beings, as professionals and partners is crucial for a good relationship. It means respecting every step and being there to witness each other’s life journey without any judgment.
2. They trust in each other.
We all make tons of mistakes, we have horrible days, we fail, we fight, we say awful things to each other, we hold grudges, we can’t get past traumas, sometimes we don’t feel attractive or smart, and we feel like losers. During those times, we all need somebody to remind us of our greatness and to just be there for us.
We need our partner to trust in us. Somebody who sincerely loves us and sees our inner and outer beauty no matter what.
In a healthy relationship, two people will want the other person to feel good about themselves. And to know that our partner always trusts in our development and choices will make the relationship strong and comfortable.
3. They give one another personal space.
In a strong relationship, two people will give each other space to be themselves, to grow in a direction they choose, and to help each other become their authentic selves.
Wanting space in a relationship is normal, as both parties should have their own individual lives separate from each other. Additionally, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and we can't expect to grow as a person if we are constantly attached to our partner.
Changing another person will lead nowhere. It’s either learning to love unconditionally or going through the ringer of not being accepted all over again.
4. They take care of themselves first.
It’s not our responsibility to make our partner happy, and it’s not your partner’s duty to make you happy. It is our responsibility to make ourselves happy and fill our own cup, and from that cup we can share the love with our partner.
If we are not satisfied with who we are, if we lack self-confidence, and if we can’t overcome traumas from childhood and past relationships, we will always project our misery onto other people. In order to have a good relationship, it's essential that we put our needs first before we tend to the needs of others.
5. They make the relationship a priority.
Big love is more of a choice than a sudden feeling. It’s two humans deciding to make a life together. No material thing, no house, no car, or no job makes us rise or fall as much as our relationships.
We feel alive when we can share and when we can experience little, magical things together. We feel alive when we can laugh, cry, chat and be silent together. A relationship should always be the priority.
6. They have zero expectations.
Every relationship is a whole life and a process. Learning not to have expectations from others is a very hard lesson to learn. We expect each other to be a certain way and then we are disappointed because our expectations were not met.
Embracing and adapting instead of expecting is a core principle for couples who stay madly in love. They embrace every perfect imperfection and fall in love with their partner's wholeness, uniqueness, and genuineness.
7. They communicate by expressing feelings.
Other people can’t read our minds, so we better learn to speak out loud what we feel, mean and think. Clear communication, even if it’s difficult, vulnerable, or ugly, is a trait of a healthy, strong relationship.
Our partner is not left in the dark and can decide how to proceed without making wrong assumptions. It’s as simple as this. Have something on your mind? Say it. Otherwise, we cannot expect our partner to wonder what we truly desire.
8. They stay attractive to each other, mentally and physically.
Even if this one is a hard truth, we want a partner who is attractive to us. But doing something for somebody means taking care of our mind, body, and spirit.
When we are fit, healthy and keep on growing, we feel confident and vibrant. And when that's the case, our partner will always feel it, too. So we should never stop growing, evolving, rediscovering ourselves.
There is no formula for a perfect relationship.
We all are different and our partner is our best mirror. Our partner will absorb our inferiority complex and reflect it back to us as much as our love and confidence. We can learn from each other about ourselves every moment. We can learn to be together, patiently, with love, kindness and a desire to make it work.
A relationship is always hard work. It’s work on ourselves, on our inner demons, on our preconceived notions, and on co-existing as two. Love comes with experience and time, and it gets stronger the more intimacy there is between two people.
How beautiful it is when two people build up mental and physical intimacy, helping each other heal and reaching their highest potential.
Olga Chirkova is an author, photographer, and writer whose bylines have appeared on The Good Men Project, Medium, Post Pravda, and Rebelle Society. She writes on lifestyle, self-improvement, and relationship topics.