7 Signs He's Fine To Date But Would Make A Truly Awful Husband
Don’t marry a man you’re embarrassed by.
perfectwave | Canva In my years of dating, I’ve learned most men can be put into six categories:
- The “Avoid At All Costs” group consists of abusers, users, Nice Guys, and unhinged guys
- The “Friends Only” category, who are decent human beings you just don’t have a spark with
- The “Friends With Benefits,” who are good as physically intimate friends, but aren’t quite romantic material
- Short-term flings
- Boyfriends
- Husband material, who are the top-tier men
There are a lot of perfectly-fine-to-date men who could make great boyfriends, but terrible, awful husbands. The problem women face is they often don’t realize they’re dating one of these guys until they’re married to them. Want to prevent a divorce in the future? Look for the signs he won't be a good husband, and avoid getting hitched if you notice the following things in your relationship.
Here are signs he's fine to date but would make a truly awful husband:
1. He’s a Mama’s Boy
Don’t get me wrong — a lot of Mama’s Boys don’t even make good boyfriends. But a man who’s unnervingly close to his mother is not looking for a wife. He’s looking for a new mom, and trust me when I say you’ll never be his #1 priority in life, even if you do marry him.
2. He's weirdly possessive over you
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This is often an indicator he still sees himself as courting you and once he puts a ring on it, he’ll turn abusive. Don’t marry a man who sees you as his property unless you’re OK with abuse, neglect, and misogyny.
3. His family is intolerable
I don’t want to be that person, but if you can’t get along with his family, you need to reconsider marrying him unless he’s willing to establish very strong boundaries with them.
4. His goals are really different from yours
Different goals in a marriage mean you will end up with a tug-of-war going on. Don’t do this to yourself, and don’t do this to him. Keep him as a boyfriend, but don’t let him be your spouse.
Holistic dating coaches Orma and Mathew Walters advised, "For a relationship to stand the test of time the two of you must share values. Unlike hobbies or interests that you can just ask about, discovering another person’s values only happens over time.
Couples who stay together through the inevitable challenges that show up can repair, reconnect, and strengthen their love because they can get behind a common goal and a shared vision they have created. Getting back on the same page is possible because they both value the same things."
5. He's a financial mess
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Is he the kind of guy who will splurge on $300 sneakers, and then look helpless when rent is due? Unless you’re cool with bad credit and being in debt, you’ll avoid marrying him, even if he is a sweetie.
6. He's not emotionally supportive
Boyfriends can get away with just chilling out with the positive sides of you, but the same cannot be said about a husband. If he clams up and stonewalls every time bad stuff happens, marrying him means you’ll be on your own when the going gets tough.
"Stonewalling, also known as the silent treatment, is a defense mechanism where the person stonewalling shuts down, avoids, withdraws from, or refuses to engage in communication with the other person in the relationship.
The person stonewalling may want to stop further discussion and create distance in response to feelings of discomfort, shock, or becoming overwhelmed, and because they may want to shut down emotionally. Directly or indirectly, this implies their partner's emotions are unworthy, and it often leads to the other person feeling vulnerable, confused, and deeply hurt," explained relationship coach Brittney Lindstrom.
7. He can't be taken to serious events
Look, I’m not saying being superficial is cool, but I am saying people will probably not take you seriously if your spouse is a complete wreck among professionals. Eventually, he’ll pick up on the fact you’re embarrassed by him and it will ruin your relationship.
Trust me, he may be a great boyfriend but don’t marry a man you’re embarrassed by.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.