10 Wild Differences Between Gen-Xers Dating In The 90s Versus Gen-Zers Dating Today
It's a brave new world out there in modern dating land.
cottonbro studio | Pexels Remember being a Gen-Xer dating in the 1990s? If you weren't born yet or didn't have the privilege of dating in that spectacular decade, you don't know what you were missing.
No one had their faces stuck to their iPhone, and there was no such thing as an influencer. Romance still felt like a possible thing back then, nothing like what modern Gen-Z dating looks like today.
Here are the differences between Gen-Xers dating in the 90s versus Gen-Zers dating today:
1. Finding a date
Kaspars Grinvalds / Shutterstock
Gen-X: Have your friends set you up with someone they know. You will probably not see this person until the moment you meet unless your friend has a picture of them in an old photo album from college, so make sure you get a detailed description of what they look like over the phone. Hope they don't lie.
Gen-Z: You landed in their DMs because they were hot.
2. Narrowing down your choices
Chay_Tee / Shutterstock
Gen-X: You could also check the personal ads in the back of your city's weekly newspaper. Look for SWM, SBF, GHM, etc.
Gen-Z: Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble, Grindr, the list of dating apps is pretty much endless. Look for a single yet polyamorous, non-gender-conforming, post-colonial, anti-imperialist, non-capitalist, vegan, multi-lingual, agnostic feminist.
3. Discovering hidden bits of information
Ground Picture / Shutterstock
Gen-X: Ask mutual friends to tell you about them.
Gen-Z: Stalk the living garbage out of them on social media to be sure they're hot/interesting/have a job/aren't catfishing you. Google and Reverse Image Search are your best friends.
Then loses interest completely because, eww, he used the Beauty mode filter way too much on TikTok, and suffers from an embarrassing case of hashtag abuse. And she has a disturbing number of duck-faced selfies and might charge people to watch her do laundry over OnlyFans.
4. Determining if they are your "type"
simona pilolla 2 / Shutterstock
Gen-X: What's your sign? Ooohh, Scorpio!
Gen-Z: What's your Myers Briggs type? Ugh, an INFJ? Boring. I'm looking for more of an ENFP. Sorry.
5. Getting in contact
Andrii Iemelianenko / Shutterstock
Gen-X: You have to call their house to talk to them. Someone else (Roommate? Sibling? Parent?) will answer. You will have to ask if they are there.
There will be an elaborate song and dance involving hanging up one receiver and picking up the phone in the upstairs bedroom as opposed to the one in the kitchen where there's no privacy. There may also be messages written down on scraps of paper if they aren't home.
You will have severe anxiety wondering if their little sister actually gave them the message, if it was written down correctly, or if they can read the handwriting. If you're lucky, you can just leave a message on their answering machine and hope their dad doesn't erase it.
Gen-Z: Text them. It's way easier not having to talk to anyone.
6. Going out on an actual date
La Famiglia / Shutterstock
Gen-X: Allow the guy to pick you up at your house in his car.
Gen-Z: Absolutely not, is anyone letting a strange dude pick them up at home? You've seen the ID Channel. Everyone is a narcissist/sociopath/rapist/cannibal-axe murderer/ISIS recruiter these days.
7. Passing the test of chivalry
XiXinXing / Shutterstock
Gen-X: Do not fail the test. You know, the one where after he opens your car door you have to reach over and unlock the driver's side door before he gets in.
Gen-Z: Automated door locks. Instead, the girl now has to offer to pay. This test goes both ways, however, because the guy must absolutely not let her. Ever.
8. Getting to your date destination
Snapic_PhotoProduction / Shutterstock
Gen-X: When you're driving to the place where you're going to meet, as you drive you will need to refer to elaborate handwritten directions on a piece of notebook paper that she dictated to you in advance of the date, over the phone.
Gen-Z: Seriously? Uber there.
9. Committing to pre-date dieting
Mariia Korneeva / Shutterstock
Gen-X: Pre-date crash diet, so you aren't bloated.
Gen-Z: Do a three-day juice cleanse that costs $150 so you can rid your body of toxins and make a good impression, which you will not do if your body is harboring toxins.
10. Deciding what to do on the date
BAZA Production / Shutterstock
Gen-X: Dinner and a movie (as in, actual restaurant and theater.)
Gen-Z: Netflix and chill, Hulu and Chill, Amazon Prime and Chill, HBO Max and Chill, Peacock and Chill, the options are endless...
Victoria Fedden is a writer and author of Amateur Night at the Bubblegum Kittikat and This is Not My Beautiful Life. Her writing has appeared in Real Simple, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Huffington Post, Redbook, Elephant Journal, Scary Mommy, and more.