Simcha Whitehill

Simcha Whitehill was the last girl at her middle school to mature, which helped her develop hobbies like obsessing over pop culture and writing. When she was lucky 13, she went with her after school academic group on a field trip to Tennessee to compete in a national nerd-off. Although her team lost, what she gained was invaluable: a day at Dolly Parton's dreamy theme park, Dollywood. After years of pleading with god for a righteous rack, Simcha decided to pray to the cup fairy of country music and ask for her blessing. By the time summer rolled around, her patron saint had miraculously answered her prayers. She was a D, from and for Dolly.

Now, Simcha always tries to put herself in the right place at the right time. As soon as she turned 18, she moved to New York City. A graduate of NYU, she has written for TheFrisky.com, The Daily What, Fangoria, Nickelodeon, Jane Magazine and Pokémon, all the while showing more cleavage than the Grand Canyon.