Unapologetic Woman Explains Why The People Who Said The Way She & Her Husband Decided To Divorce ‘Wouldn’t Work’ Were Absolutely Wrong
There is such a thing as a peaceful and amicable divorce!
ViDl Studio / FamVeld / Shutterstock / CanvaPro While going through a divorce, some people cannot even fathom being friends with their former spouse. And most of the time, we don’t blame them! Divorce is an exhausting, difficult, and undoubtedly emotionally draining process. When you factor in the various reasons for divorce, it makes sense why some former couples would never even want to exchange a few words with the other again.
However, in some cases, divorced couples not only speak to each other daily but also remain on extremely amicable terms. It is all about making the effort and doing what you believe is right for both of you. But when one woman and her husband divorced, her friends scoffed at her plan to keep them close for the sake of their friendship and their children. However, over time, she has thankfully proven them all wrong.
The woman and her ex-husband continued to live on the same farm in the aftermath of their divorce.
According to the American Psychological Association, 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce. However, this does not necessarily mean that they all end in bitterness. Annie Muscato and her husband Derek are ideal examples of this. In a TikTok video that has been viewed over 1 million times, Annie explains how they have been able to remain such good companions after their split, and why their friends were originally doubtful that they would make it work.
Upon informing her friends about her and Derek’s decision to divorce, she assured them that the two would make the effort to have a “really collaborative, pleasant divorce.” This meant that they would still live together on the same farm they did when they were married to give their children a sense of normalcy and allow them to still spend holidays together as a family.
Even though Annie and Derek were certain that they would be able to make it all work, their friends were not on the same page.
“There were three things that I heard all the time [from them],” Annie says. “The first was that I was never going to find someone as amazing as Derek. The second was that there was no way this was gonna work…and third, even if we could do it, when we started dating people, we would never find partners that were on board with this plan.”
Annie takes a few moments to explain exactly why all of her friends were wrong.
“I actually did very much believe that Derek and I would both be capable of finding people who were much better fits for us, and we would be much healthier and much happier with them,” she says.
When it came to still living on the same farm, Annie and Derek knew that they were “absolutely capable” of making it work. Additionally, they both planned on never dating anyone who was not okay with the arrangement.
While Annie says she tries her best not to say “I told you so!” when she is right, the aftermath of her divorce was one of her favorite “I told you so” moments.
“Yesterday I was sitting in my backyard… my ex-husband’s girlfriend drove the gold cart over to my house, and she and I were sitting in the backyard together watching the kids play while we drink our coffee by the fire,” Annie recalls. “The day before, she and I had a girl's day with my daughter where we took her together to get our nails done… and then we went to go get my daughter’s ears pierced.”
The day before that, Derek and his girlfriend watched the kids while Annie ran errands and the day before that, they all met up for a parade and went to friends' houses together afterward. This is just everyday life for Annie, Derek, and their children, who now have even more people to have in their lives to spend the holidays with.
“There is something so satisfying about all of that,” Annie says. “We have done it and our life is freaking amazing and beautiful!”
This doesn’t mean the road to get to where they are now was easy.
In a separate video, Annie explains that she was initially living in a trailer four feet from her ex-husband’s bedroom window on the family farm. When the coronavirus pandemic took over, the two were forced to lock down together amid the divorce.
“We were figuring out how to co-parent together, and have a healthy co-parenting relationship while very much being in each other’s space all the time,” Annie says.
Although it was difficult, the former couple was committed to getting along and living on the same farm together for the sake of their children. Many TikTokers praised Derek and Annie for successfully getting along and living together for their kids. “You guys are amazing parents! Good on you!” one user commented.
“You both are amazing humans Shows how much your children mean to you,” another user wrote. “My ex and I have the same relationship as y’all do. A lot of it is both of you TRULY putting and having the best interest of the kids first,” another shared.
Since Annie and Derek appear to be such an amazing team, some of us may wonder why they got divorced in the first place. In a follow-up video, the two answer the million-dollar question.
In the end, the split boiled down to 'bad communication' and 'emotional disconnect.'
“We were bringing out the worst in each other,” Annie admits. At one point, the two claim that they were “fighting every day over nothing” and “hating each other.”
Once they decided to divorce, they realized that they were both much happier as separate people rather than a married couple.
When it comes to an amicable divorce, communication is instrumental in making it happen. Luckily, Annie and Derek were able to improve their communication skills through the separation, which is one of the reasons they are able to get along great now!
There is also something to be said about the way they handled the divorce for the sake of their children. Witnessing an amicable separation between parents has benefits for the children in the future. According to Goranson Bain Ausley Family Law, children with parents who divorced respectfully have improved conflict resolution and communication skills.
Divorce does not always have to be messy. It can be a peaceful parting of ways where family still remains the center of everything. Just take a couple of notes from Annie and Derek!
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.