You Can Now Officially Drink The Tears Of A Unicorn
It's magically delicious.
Firebox If you're like me, you probably don't have nearly enough magic in your life.
That's not to say that there isn't happiness or good times, but actual magic? Not so much.
The closest I have ever gotten to feeling magical was when I was looking hot at a bar and my ex saw me, and the three vodka cranberries I had downed certainly helped the moment have a more blurry, magic-like quality. I can only imagine how my night would have gone if I got to actually drink unicorn tears.
But now there's a product that brings fantasy and reality together in a wondrous, magical elixir: Unicorn Tears Gin Liqueur.
I've never been much of a hard liquor kind of gal, but I will if it looks like unicorn tears.
This enchantingly scrumptious gin liqueur allegedly comes from the tears of unicorns and smells of fragrant juniper, orange, and tangy lemon, with hints of mint and lemongrass. You'll taste candied orange peel, flying saucer sweeties, and a hint of maple syrup with whispers of piney juniper berries and spicy cardamom.
You'll take one sniff of this drink and immediately hear an elf laugh in your ear.
You'll drink this and suddenly want to escape into the forest to look for faeries and to follow a little leprechaun to a pot of gold. You might start seeing mermaids in a lagoon and be tempted to swim with them to the bottom if you have too much of this drink.
And if all those flavors weren't magical enough, this potion has been dusted with 100 percent edible real silver pieces, which, at a price of $57.09 per bottle, you'd expect to be enhanced with some kind of precious metal.
Firebox, the makers of this liqueur, say on their website that "Many, many unicorns were harmed in the making of this beverage and that the tears of this rare mythical steed make for a magnificent drinking experience."
Photos: Firebox
But before you get alarmed and start calling The Unicorn Protection Agency, Nicki Iodice of Firebox told The Huffington Post, "I can definitely confirm that Unicorn Tears Gin Liqueur is indeed real. Although, I cannot confirm or deny if real unicorn tears were used."
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This is the perfect drink for when The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is a little too juvenile for your taste.
The liqueur is only available in the UK, where they're probably enjoying Unicorn Fizzes and Tears Collins as we speak.
Someday, the United States will be as magical as the UK, and we will have our own magical drink someday. Maybe centaur tears. If you are lucky enough to be able to have this drink, don't let all of the magic go to your head, and still drink responsibly.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer and performer. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, and Woman's Day.