Working Mom Says She's Tired Of Watching Her Stay-At-Home Mom Friends Enjoy The Summer With Their Kids
She admitted she’s jealous of their freedom while she feels burned out.
Galina Zhigalova | Canva Pro Full-time working moms can surely relate to the struggle of balancing their work responsibilities with their mom duties, and they can especially feel envious of their stay-at-home mom peers who seem to have it much easier.
Being a mom is a job in itself, but there is also a stark polarity between the experiences of women who work outside the home.
One working mom took to Reddit to vent about how she currently doesn’t want to talk to her stay-at-home mom friends due to jealousy.
In the r/workingmoms forum, the mom explained she is the only breadwinner and full-time employee out of her group of friends. While her friends have always been kind and supportive of her struggles, she has begun to grow tired of seeing photos of them and their kids at the beach, at Target, and on the couch, watching movies together.
While they’re likely only aiming to share fun memories, the mom couldn't help but feel envious and angry that she’s burned out from working so hard while they get to peacefully enjoy their summers.
“I know being home is hard in its own way, but I’m firmly in the camp that working and parenting is harder than parenting,” the mom argued. “A few of them married older (20+ years) wealthy men and knew exactly what they were doing.”
She acknowledged that she is aware of her petty perception, which is likely a result of a poor work-life balance, but she finds it unfair that despite being the only working mom of their group, she has the smallest house, no house cleaner, and rarely gets to spend time at home with her kids.
“I’m jealous, and it’s ugly, and I just needed it off my chest,” she shared honestly. “I need a break.”
The mom’s struggles are certainly valid. The pressure of providing for your family can grow tiring and stressful, especially when you aren’t even able to spend much time with them or afford the luxuries you desire.
However, she shared how, unlike her stay-at-home mom friends, her parents are very involved in her kids’ lives and help her tremendously.
Reddit users suggested that others’ desirable lifestyles are not always what they seem.
No one is exempt from the unsavory experience of imposter syndrome. Comparison culture is the thief of joy, yet many of us continue to compare ourselves and our lives to others’ seemingly ideal lifestyles.
Reddit users validated the woman, as her experience is certainly a challenging one, and they assured her it’s healthy to vent. But many also pointed out that despite her friends’ seemingly perfect lives, the grass is not always greener on the other side.
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“It sounds like income disparities are the bigger root of your envy, and it's understandable to feel jealous sometimes as the lifestyle of a very wealthy person is different than the lifestyle of a middle or working-class person,” one person commented on the post. “Maybe it would be helpful to note that most high-income jobs, like those that their husbands have, are very stressful with long hours, so their husbands will probably have less time with them than you have with your husband, in addition to you getting more support from your parents.”
Of course, many working moms might find the lifestyle of living in a mansion and having unlimited free time without ever needing to work a dream. But stay-at-home moms might say the same about career women who can sustain themselves and have earned their own success.
Truth be told, no matter how perfect someone’s life appears from the outside looking in, everyone deals with their own version of stress. Not every stay-at-home mom’s lifestyle is as ideal as it may seem. While some find themselves in the hands of caring and wealthy husbands, as the Reddit user above pointed out, they often don’t have much quality time with them.
In much less fortunate cases, some stay-at-home moms find themselves with no concept of self-sufficiency due to their dependence on their husbands, and this can bring about strong confusion surrounding their identity and purpose outside of their role as a mom and wife, especially if their marriages don’t work out in the end.
Reddit users advised the mom to consider making friends with other working moms whom she can better relate to.
There is a wide polarity between the moms who are the breadwinners of their families and those who stay at home with their kids. While these friendships can exist and flourish, sometimes it’s beneficial to foster connections with those you have more in common with.
“It'd be helpful to cultivate a friendship or two with moms in your income bracket as well,” the same Reddit user from above added. “It can be helpful to be able to share tips and such that you can actually use, as your wealthy friends' life hacks will be very different and broadly inaccessible to you.”
At the end of the day, it’s understandable why the working mom is feeling so envious, as most of her friends can’t relate to her experience, and she likely feels isolated by her stress.
If she establishes additional friendships with other working moms, she’ll realize she is not alone in her experience. She might come across better ways to find balance and embrace her unique blessings and lifestyle.
No matter what you choose to do with your life, know that there will always be challenges that come up along the way, but you have the power to decide whether you let this stress take you down or lift you up.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.