Worker 'Embarrassed' By Boss' Constant Comments About How She Wears 'The Same Clothes Too Much' To Her Low-Paying Job
She's only in the job for experience and is paid a pittance. What's she supposed to do?
fizkes | Shutterstock Perhaps it's unintentional, but it often seems like the more money a person has, the more utterly oblivious they are to what it's like to NOT have it.
Take for instance the boss of a woman on Reddit — the worker has just about had it with her boss' incessant digs about her wardrobe, especially given how little she's paid. Apparently she wears the same outfits too often.
The worker is embarrassed by her boss's constant comments about how she wears the same clothes all the time.
American living has never been cheap or easy, but since the pandemic costs of everything have skyrocketed, and clothing is no exception. The Consumer Price Index shows that clothing prices overall have risen nearly 8% since 2020, with some types of clothing such as linen skyrocketing by nearly 20%.
So imagine the sticker shock this worker faced when she had to go buy a whole new wardrobe after landing the job. "I didn't have anything business casual besides my interview outfit," she wrote in her Reddit post. "So I went and bought enough outfits to last me a week at the office."
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Her pay is very low due to it being a grant-supported position, but her boss has not been understanding.
A whole week's worth of outfits is a hefty price tag in and of itself, but for this woman, it's even tougher due to her very low salary. She got a grant for the position which means it comes with a "limited budget" and hence is "a really low-paying job that I'm just doing for the experience."
You'd think her boss would be understanding, right? You'd also think that as a woman herself, her boss would also be less confrontational about looks. But that's not how it's shaken out.
"My boss says things like 'You must really like that outfit, you wore it last week' or 'You wear that all the time' or 'I bet I know what you're gonna wear,'" she wrote. "Stuff that's not really critical but has critical vibes to it for sure."
The comments are embarrassing to her — she feels like she's being judged for her lack of funds. But she also finds the whole thing unnecessary and impolite, which it absolutely is. She's not sure how to address it, however, without offending her boss.
People urged the worker to push back and put her boss in her place, but bluntness and simplicity might be best.
The woman got lots of feedback from her fellow Redditors, who all quite rightly took her side. Many suggested she fight fire with fire by calling her boss out or counteracting her comments with upbeat positivity, like saying "Yes, I wear this so often because I love it" and leaving it at that.
But here's the thing — sometimes people are just kind of oblivious to how they're coming off. That's not an excuse for the boss's rudeness, but often, bluntly but non-confrontationally telling someone their actions are bothering you is met with genuine surprise and remorse.
Of course, it's frequently the opposite as well — some people are just a-holes! But many are just not quite so sharp on their social skills and being straightforward is best. It's all in how you approach it, however.
Leadership coach Allison Barr urges workers to maintain their composure, remain factual, and strive to come to an agreement and plan forward by the end of the conversation.
Psychologists often recommend omitting the word "you" entirely from confrontations like this, grounding everything in "I" statements about your own experience. If you've ever dabbled in couple's counseling, you'll recognize this advice for romantic relationships.
But it can be every bit as helpful for other kinds of relationships too, because it helps keep the other party from shutting down and becoming defensive.
Unless this woman's boss is truly a monster, something like, "I've noticed some comments about my clothes, and I'm sure there's no harm intended, but it's making me feel uncomfortable" can open up a conversation that's actually constructive rather than confrontational or passive-aggressive.
Does her boss deserve this gesture? Of course not! She's in the wrong. But in the end, it's about the ultimate goal — preserving a beneficial boss-employee relationship, or "winning" and getting revenge.
The latter is deserved and delicious, but all too often carries no benefit when it comes to the uneven power dynamics of the office. Sometimes carefully but clearly stating your case can not only solve the problem but preserve or even strengthen professional relationships in the process, and that's a win-win.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice, and human interest topics.