Psychology Says There's 2 Words That Prevent Women From Attracting Men
The words you speak hold more power than you know.
Olena Yakobchuk / Shutterstock Women looking to attract a man often do everything in their power to change who they are inside and out. They might change their hair color, wear different clothes, or find new hobbies.
However, none of this is necessary. In reality, it's likely her thinking and vocabulary that are holding her back — or her use of two words in particular.
The two words that prevent women from attracting men are 'look' and 'keep.'
I had an interesting exchange after posting on my Facebook about how to attract men. I wrote: "I'm allergic to the words 'look' and 'keep' when it comes to men." Someone contacted me to clarify what it meant when I used these terms.
I responded, "Women are conditioned to think and say 'I'm looking for a good man' or ask, 'How do I keep a man?' Both have weak energy. A great man is attractive and he also wants to stay with you." So, delete the words "look" and "keep" from your vocabulary as they are certain to hold you back from finding good men.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
Instead of the word 'look,' use the word 'attract.'
What you say is what you get. If you’re always focusing on “looking, searching, and finding” a quality man, you’re repelling him.
As a woman, you naturally have the energy that a high-quality man is drawn to. You may have heard of the Chinese concept of yin and yang. They are opposite energies that balance each other.
A man who is seeking and hunting for you (in yang energy) is open to seeing and receiving yin energy. Yin is all things feminine and sensual — everything that he isn't.
While men seek out and pursue women, women are also actively attracting men to them. This requires a balance, just like yin and yang. Women need to speak about what they truly desire to have and happen, so don't just "look" — attract!
Instead of “I am looking for...” use “I am attracting...” Instead of asking, “Where are the quality men?” or “Are there any left?” ask yourself, “Where can I go to meet quality men?”
This is an example of manifesting through positive self-talk. A 2023 study found that those who believe they will be more successful — in this case, successful at attracting the man they want — perceive themselves to be more successful. In other words, behave as though you are already attracting your dream man, and you will.
eldar nurkovic | Shutterstock
You must understand the meaning of the word 'attract.'
At this point, you may be thinking, “What about being a strong, decisive woman?” Each woman has several personalities or characters inside. All are needed and one isn’t less important than the other.
Men are drawn to Princess Fiona, yet they adore it when her inner Xena Warrior Princess comes out. Confused? No need to be. It’s the same way with men. They have a feminine and masculine side — some more than others, but it’s there. Whether he just embraces and lives it out is another story.
Many men are not alone in being confused as to what the word "attract" truly means. The word is thrown around so much, it's not surprising a lot of guys feel this way.
As a verb, attract means: to cause to approach or adhere; to pull to or draw toward oneself or itself (a magnet attracts iron); to draw by appeal to natural or excited interest, emotion, or aesthetic sense; to entice (attract attention).
That’s powerful. Do you see, feel, or hear any weak energy in those definitions? Probably not. Do you feel the power stirring up in you right now? Most definitely.
The point is that what you put out into the world is what you'll bring back. Make sure you're only working on attracting people that will be good for you, rather than wanting to attract any man out there.
wavebreakmedia | Shutterstock
Remember: you are a natural attractor.
Most women don’t know this, but we are natural attractors. We are all born with the ability to attract. It’s just that most of us are unaware of how to use that power.
Women can use that power to attract many things:
- You can cause a man to approach you.
- You can draw a man to you.
- You can appeal to men naturally.
- You can excite a man’s interest.
- You can evoke strong emotions in a man.
Not only can you attract just any man, but you can also attract the type or quality of man you want.
- You can attract an amazing, high-quality man... or attract jerks.
- You can attract a faithful, honest man... or attract a cheating, lying man.
- You can attract an attentive man... or attract a man who takes you for granted.
- You can attract a man who treats you like a queen... or a man who abuses you.
We all attract. We also attract the type of man who pursues us. This is one of the hardest things for a lot of women to accept.
When we’re in a victim mindset, we say men do things “to” us. I say this with all respect for any pain and suffering you may have gone through, but until you stop thinking like a victim and realize you have a choice, nothing will change.
Research shows that a victim mentality holds you back and is associated with diminished well-being, poor social connections, and self-destructive behavior. It's a form of self-sabotage — you will never attract the kind of man you want if you view yourself as a victim.
Here’s another compelling, outside-the-box thought — sometimes, at both ends of the spectrum, we could be talking about the same man. You see this all the time. It’s so cliché, but it’s true. How many instances have we seen of a womanizer all of a sudden, after leaving a seven-mile-long path of broken hearts, going ga-ga over a plain woman?
Everyone is so shocked, awed, and dismayed. Why? They just don’t understand the influence of a woman in her full power. While outward beauty can attract more men, when it comes to inspiring them to stay, it’s a whole different story.
Rhonda Cort is the founder of The High-Value Woman and CEO of Magnetic Woman International, a company specializing in helping female entrepreneurs enjoy a full love life.