Women Who Stop Being Fake To People They Don't Like Usually Have These 11 Reasons
They don't tolerate other people's bad behavior anymore.
Nana_studio | Shutterstock Despite being pressured into people-pleasing behaviors, agreeable attitudes, and emotional labor roles from a young age, many women's growth into and through adulthood gives them space to unlearn these misguided lessons and expectations. Many women who stop being fake to people they don't like usually have these reasons — with age, life experience, and even through hardship and adversity, these women have the clarity they need to put themselves first.
They trust their intuition, craft social networks and relationships intentionally, and even learn to put their own needs first, whether that's alone time, a focus on their career, or self-care. They may be pressured to get along with and be "fake nice" to people they can't stand, but they're steadfast in their own beliefs and boundaries.
Women who stop being fake to people they don't like usually have these 11 reasons
1. They don't people-please anymore
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Harvard psychologist Debbie Sorensen argues that people-pleasers are at a higher risk for burnout and emotional exhaustion, because they're always putting their own needs aside to look out for others and to "protect the peace" in social situations. They usually don't set boundaries or advocate for themselves, so they fall into cycles of disillusionment, low self-esteem, and chronic anxiety.
However, women who don't people-please anymore also stop being fake to people they don't like. They've grown out of their people-pleasing habits and the agreeable mindset they were taught to adopt from a young age, giving them the focus to craft connections, engage in solitude, and advocate for their own needs without shame.
2. They care more about authenticity
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According to a study from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the better a person's social network and support system, the more authentic they're likely to be. That's why women who stop being fake to people they don't like usually have these reasons — they care more about authenticity to feed into fake relationships that sabotage their own.
Coupled with growing self-esteem and personal stability, all of which contribute to a more authentic and genuine personality, identity, and self-expression, these women set themselves up for success by looking inward and carving out intentional space for themselves.
3. They're exhausted with all the fakeness
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According to a 2006 study on fakeness, faking positive emotions and happiness, especially in environments like the workplace, can negatively harm physical and mental well-being. On top of that, being around fake people, constant drama, and misleading vibes of admiration and connection can be disillusioning, making people feel more alone in a room full of people.
Women who stop being fake to people they don't like usually have these reasons — either they've been around so much fakeness, or even been the fake person themselves and they're tired of it.
4. They're more emotionally mature
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There are a wide variety of reasons why someone might be more emotionally mature than the people around them — from childhood and unresolved trauma, like a study from the European Journal of Trauma & Disassociation suggests, to toxic relationships, and even an innate sense of emotional intelligence and resilience.
Later in life, when these women have developed an independent personality, practiced their emotional intelligence, and built strong and intentional relationships, they no longer need the instant comfort or validation of a stranger or someone they don't like.
They're not pressured into appeasing people they don't like because they're emotionally mature enough to spend that time alone or with the people they really love. Whether it's in the workplace, their families, or a platonic relationship, these women don't feel drawn toward fakeness with anyone anymore.
5. They don't equate respect to agreeableness
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Women who stop being fake to people they don't like usually don't equate respect with agreeableness anymore. They know that they respect someone, even if they don't like them or have differing opinions, without needing to compromise their own comfort or attitude.
Even though women are pressured into agreeable and overly positive attitudes for the sake of others, as women get older, build their own individuality, and bolster their self-confidence, they can subtly unlearn those misguided mindsets.
6. They're more self-assured now
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Many older women are innately more confident and self-assured with age — letting go of toxic societal expectations and standards, growing their internal confidence and emotional intelligence, and even shifting toward more assertive self-advocacy behaviors. They don't tolerate fakeness or people they don't like anymore because they're confident enough to fill their own time and be their own partner, friend, and peer.
They won't people-please for the sake of connection or use people they don't like as distractions for being alone — they appreciate their own company and follow their own moral compass.
7. They've built a strong relationship with others
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Whether it's a loving partner, a secure support system, or even a strong and assured relationship with themselves, women who stop being fake nice to people they don't like usually don't feel pressured into people-pleasing for validation or attention anymore.
They've grown the support system and inner confidence needed to outgrow these limiting and attention-seeking behaviors, so they no longer put their well-being on the line tolerating people they can't stand. According to a Psychiatry study, women with a strong support system are also more resilient to stress and navigating trauma, so they're no longer looking for fleeting comfort and validation in the wrong people.
8. They value genuine connections
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Outside of their pre-existing social network, women who stop being fake to people they don't like usually just prefer genuine, deep, and meaningful connections with others. Of course, this isn't an isolated experience as, according to a study from Psychology and Aging, many people start to prefer deeper, more meaningful relationships and conversations as they get older.
So, the less time these women spend tolerating people they don't like and people-pleasing to protect the comfort of conversations, the less time and energy they have to invest in the relationships that truly add value to their lives.
9. They don't care what people think anymore
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According to a Stanford report, many women are perceived by others as more "rude" or "aggressive" for behaviors and language that their male counterparts are celebrated for. From advocating for themselves in the workplace, to raising their voice, and even dressing in a certain way, women who reject societal norms like agreeableness are viewed as more difficult.
However, as they get older and build their own sense of internal gratification, they rely less on the opinions and validation of others. They don't feel pressured to be fake to people they don't like to protect their social status or perception — they're comfortable with being viewed however they are in their authentic identity.
10. They trust their gut
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Many people who are nice to people they don't like truly just don't know what they like, want, or care for. They don't have a guiding internal compass — from their gut to their heart — that reminds them of their values or how they feel in the moment. They may even lack the emotional regulation and communication skills to express things they don't like in a connection or relationship.
However, with age, this natural intuition and emotional intelligence grows, like a study from Personality and Individual Differences suggests. Women develop faster reaction times and more decision-making accuracy than their male counterparts, and often have the tools to trust their gut instincts and intuition in social situations more definitively.
They know when they meet someone they don't like or understand when a close relationship oversteps their boundaries — they're not fake nice anymore at their own expense, fueled by ignorance and lacking self-awareness.
11. They're tired of drama
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Gossipy people and drama will always follow around fakeness. When you're not telling people exactly how you're feeling and being honest, open, and up front with them, you're also creating chaos and misunderstandings that feed into this negative drama.
That's why women who stop being fake to people they don't like usually have these reasons — they're tired of the drama, yearning to fill their social circle with more intentional and genuine people, and taking a step away from negativity in their lives.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
