Women Reveal How Going To Weddings 'Decimated' Their Bank Accounts— 'I Spent $9,500 To Be In 3 Weddings'
The bridal industrial complex now includes bachelorette parties.
Leojuli | Shutterstock Wedding season has officially arrived, bringing along its less popular cousins, bachelorette and bridal party season.
According to the wedding planning site Zola, the average cost of a wedding in 2024 is $33,000. Yet the cost of attending weddings and all the wedding-related events running up to the big day has some guests wondering why watching two people get married has gotten so expensive.
Women reveal how going to weddings has ‘decimated’ their bank accounts.
Katie Gatti Tassin, the host of the financial podcast “Money with Katie” said that the “nuptials arms race” is “decimating millennial and Gen Z checking accounts nationwide.”
Her declaration that the expectations tied to bachelorette parties have grown “out of control” was made in response to a tweet from Sravan Panuganti, who broke down how much he and his wife spent on a friend’s destination wedding.
As a bridesmaid, his wife paid $2,000 to go to the bachelorette party and $1,500 for the bridal shower, along with “another couple hundred for the dress.” Panuganti estimated that it cost their family around $5,000 total to get to the wedding.
“Terrible thing to do to your friends," he said, "should really make your worst enemies do this."
Antonti Shkraba | Pexels
His joke brought up an issue faced by many women of a certain age: How do you navigate wedding season when you have limited funds?
Women shared how much they’ve spent on friends’ wedding extravaganzas, showing how out-of-touch some brides have become.
“I’ve spent $9,500 to be in 3 weddings this year,” financial content creator Alex Friedman shared in response to Tassin's tweet.
A woman named Shannon Detrick got into the nitty gritty of how much she’s spent being a bridesmaid in her friends’ weddings and going to their bachelorette parties. She noted that her bridesmaid expense breakdown didn’t include the cost of wedding presents, bridal showers, or dresses, which she got as gifts for all the weddings she was in.
Detrick spent three days in Palm Springs at a bachelorette party that cost $965. She spent $916 on the wedding that followed. She spent $1,425 on a 4-day bachelorette trip to Miami and $512 on that bride’s wedding.
She helped plan her best friend’s bachelorette party in New Orleans, noting that, “because I was a planner I did take on some additional expenses, and I paid $1,536.”
Her estimated cost for going to her best friend’s wedding was $2,210. Detrick shared that she put a $310 deposit down for a bachelorette party next year, bringing her total wedding attendee costs to $7,884.
Supporting your friends while they celebrate the happiest day of their lives is a valuable way to spend time and money, but not everyone has the unlimited income or vacation time necessary to do so.
It's OK to set boundaries surrounding how much you are willing and able to spend on your friends' wedding festivities.
Vivian, who describes herself on TikTok as “Your rich BFF,” shared her script for setting financial boundaries around bachelorette parties.
In a stitch with Alex Cooper, Vivian said, “I don’t know when bachelorette parties went from a weekend out with friends to full-on destination adventures where you’re spending just as much as the wedding itself.”
A major part of her script to navigate the often rough waters of bachelorette party planning is being open, direct, and transparent about how much money you can afford to spend.
She recommended saying, “I’d love to be part of your special day, but transparently, I can’t afford all these events. My budget is XYZ, but I want to make sure I don’t hold you back, so let me know what’s really most meaningful to you, so I can prioritize those things in my budget, but I may not be able to do everything.”
Spending money to have boozy brunches with the bride-to-be in a beachside town halfway across the country just isn’t feasible for most young women in their 20s, who are just entering the workforce and getting their financial sea legs.
It’s more than OK to say no to things we can’t afford. The more we talk about finances, the less stigmatized these discussions become, allowing us to make decisions that don’t drain our bank account.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.