Woman's Friends Admonish Her For Ignoring A Crying Baby At A Restaurant, Even Though The Mother Was There
They called her heartless and said she lacked compassion.
Iryna Inshyna / Shutterstock While a woman was out to dinner with a couple of friends, a baby began wailing a few tables away. After initially being startled by the sudden piercing noise, the woman continued to enjoy her meal while blocking out the sound.
However, her friends were mortified that she was able to go about business as usual instead of expressing concern for the crying infant. Now, the woman cannot help but wonder if she lacks sympathy and if she should have responded better.
The woman’s friends criticized her for lacking compassion for a crying baby at a restaurant.
Sharing her story to the AITA subreddit, the woman revealed that a couple of nights ago, she went out to dinner with her friends Ann and Kim.
“Ann is pregnant currently (17 weeks), and Kim has been married for three years and is currently desperately trying to get pregnant,” the woman wrote. “Because Ann is pregnant, Kim cannot stand the idea of not being pregnant yet and that is all she can think or talk about.”
The woman herself never intends on having children, though she "developed a good tolerance for pregnancy/child-related topics because all my friends are either pregnant or parents."
However, during dinner, her friends only spoke about pregnancies and childbirth, despite her attempts to discuss other topics.
“I couldn’t get them to talk about anything else, despite politely and subtly trying to change the topic several times," she wrote. "But as I understand that these topics interest them more right now, I very politely contributed to the conversation where I could, otherwise I let them talk as they pleased.”
During their conversion, a baby began crying a few tables away from them as the child's mother attempted to soothe it.
“I noticed it start crying because it was loud and then didn’t notice it anymore,” the woman wrote, noting that after a few moments, it simply faded into “background noise” for her.
However, the subject of her friends’ conversation quickly shifted to the baby, and how their hearts broke for the emotional distress it was in. They quickly noted that the woman was not contributing to their conversation as she enjoyed her dessert.
“They asked me if I had a hearing issue, so I explained how [the baby crying] was like background noise to me after the first 10 seconds,” the woman shared. “Both of them looked at me in horror and pity.”
Photo: seirceil / Shutterstock
“Kim told me that it is good I don’t plan on having children because I’m heartless and that my baby would be unlucky to be my baby. Ann said that she pities me that I’ll never know the feeling that they both had,” the woman explained.
She brushed off her friends' comments, assuming that they were not being serious. However, the following day, she received a text message from Kim urging her to “start showing a little more concern towards crying children” if she wanted to spend time with her and her future children.
“When I asked her if my heart should ache every time a strange child cried just because I have a uterus, she called me an a–hole,” the woman added.
While she acknowledged the emotional struggles her friends are currently encountering, she does not believe that she should be expected to have the same concerns, given that she does not ever plan on having kids.
Most people online believed that the woman had nothing to feel guilty about.
“Ignoring a STRANGER'S crying child does not make you a heartless monster,” one Redditor commented. “What did Kim want you to do? Walk over and try to help console a random kid that isn't even yours?”
“I'm a mother and hearing a baby cry doesn't put me into a fit, or make my heart ache,” another user shared.
Others insisted that the woman’s friends were being unnecessarily harsh on her, and perhaps their friendship had run its course.
The woman added that over time, she had fallen out with her friends who became parents, as they began excluding her from their hangouts.
Whether you’re a parent or not, we all react differently when we hear babies crying in public spaces. Some of us may sympathize and express worry, some of us cannot stand the noise, and some may not notice or be bothered by it at all.
Our reactions do not necessarily determine how we treat children in general. Some women simply are not as maternal as others, and that is okay! They are not heartless or cruel. They simply have different interests and passions.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.