Woman Upset Her Boyfriend Is Prioritizing His Daughter's Pre-K Graduation Over Her College Commencement
Shouldn't it be a green flag that he puts his kids first?
Gorgev | Shutterstock Everyone wants to be surrounded by their loved ones when celebrating life’s biggest milestones, like birthdays, weddings, and graduations. Naturally, one woman wanted her boyfriend to be at her college commencement, cheering her on. Unfortunately, he had another obligation on the same day, and it all left her feeling hurt.
The woman is upset that her boyfriend is 'prioritizing' his daughter's pre-k graduation over her college commencement.
"I am graduating from college with my Bachelor’s this June,” the 26-year-old wrote in a Reddit post. “My boyfriend is graduating next year. We’ve been dating for over two years and know for sure we’re the right one for the other.”
She continued, “He has two daughters (six and four) from a previous marriage, and both of their graduations (kindergarten and Pre-K) are happening on the same day as my college graduation.”
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This woman worked incredibly hard to get her degree, and she feels that she deserves some recognition for that. “[My boyfriend] and I have been lucky enough to be in the same classes for the last two years, but this degree has taken me eight years, three colleges, and two states to get," she shared. "I’ve really been struggling, and I’d love to feel support for something I feel like I can finally ‘present’ to the world."
Unfortunately, her boyfriend told her that he planned to skip her graduation to attend that of his 4-year-old. "In his words, he’ll be ‘prioritizing’ that," she said.
While she wasn’t entirely surprised, she was disappointed. “To be honest, I completely saw this coming,” she admitted. “I don’t want to change his mind, but I’m struggling with how to handle this. I’m a preschool teacher myself, and can assume this graduation will consist of a song and a snack with time spent with his challenging ex and her current partner for half an hour max.”
Celebrating your children’s milestones is very important.
While this woman may feel like she’s not receiving enough support from her boyfriend, it would be horrible for his kids to feel that way. The Collaborative for Children highlighted just how important it is to be there for and make a big deal out of these milestones.
“Celebrating milestones, big or small, helps boost your child’s self-esteem,” they explained. “When you acknowledge their accomplishments, it shows them that their efforts and hard work are recognized and appreciated. This, in turn, builds their confidence and encourages them to set and achieve more goals.”
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Parents must be there and show their children that they truly care about the things they accomplish. A Pre-K graduation may seem small to someone preparing to graduate from college, but for that kid, it means the whole world. She would likely be crushed if her dad couldn’t make it.
Commenters showed this woman the reality of the situation.
While it would be best if this woman’s boyfriend could be present for both his girlfriend’s and his daughter’s graduation ceremonies, it simply isn’t possible. He has to choose to prioritize one over the other, and is making the correct choice for his children's sake.
"Here is the thing: no matter what happens with his children, he will still be their father. They will remember if he skips things, however minor, to prioritize you," a commenter stressed. "Conversely, you two could break up in a year. Then what? He passed on things that are milestones for his children, for someone he is no longer with.”
"This is the sacrifice adults must make when getting into a relationship when kids are involved from a previous relationship," the user continued. "You have to understand he has to prioritize their needs over yours, because that is the responsibility he accepted when becoming a parent."
No matter how in love or perfect for each other they may be, she has to accept the fact that her boyfriend’s first priority will always be his children. And, really, she should appreciate that it is.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
