Woman Shows What Her House Looks Like Being Married To A 'Competent And Capable' Man — 'The Fact That This Is So Rare Is So Sad'
They often get a trophy for doing the bare minimum.
New Africa | Shutterstock All too frequently, men are praised for doing the bare minimum when it comes to taking care of the household and kids. Should they do the laundry or vacuum the floor, they're put on a pedestal, praised for doing something that is simply expected of women.
Abby Eckel, a wife, mom, and content creator, sparked a conversation about the low expectations placed on men after showing off how her husband cleaned their house unprompted.
The woman showed what her house looked like being married to a 'competent and capable' man.
"Let me give you an example of what it looks like to be married to a competent and capable man who gives a [expletive]," Eckel began her TikTok.
“I came home last night to find the entire house had been cleaned, our Bath and Body Works candles that he ordered had come in, had been lit, [and] the rest of our Christmas decorations had been put up — adorably by the way,” she shared, all while giving viewers a glimpse of what their home looked like.
Not only had Eckel’s husband cleaned and decorated the home, but he also went to the store and bought new rugs for their kids’ bathroom.
The best part — Eckel didn't have to ask her husband to do any of this.
“I didn't make him a list of things to do. I didn't leave it out for him. I didn't request that any of this be done,” she said. “I simply went to work, I came home, and my husband had acted like a completely competent and capable adult who gives an [expletive] about his family, who takes care of his house, who cares about how it looks and likes to also equitably participate in making Christmas magical for our family.”
This should not be surprising or rare.
Many commenters pointed out that a man participating in the cleaning of his home and the parenting of his kids is not something to be celebrated, but expected.
“The fact this is SO rare is so sad,” one TikTok user wrote. "The bar has been [set] so low that this seems unattainable," another commenter admitted.
“Someone who has a passion for the life he has chosen and is invested in his home and family … is the most attractive thing a man can be,” a third user wrote.
Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock
Grown men shouldn’t have to be reminded to clean up their homes. When they spot something that needs to be cleaned or notice the laundry has piled up, they should do so without being told. It is frankly disrespectful to assume your wife will do everything and expecting her to tell you what to do only adds to her mental load.
Still, many men and husbands struggle to grasp that fact.
According to data from the American Time Use Survey, on average, only around 22% of men engage in housework like cleaning or laundry on a daily basis. Meanwhile, women perform typical housework at a rate of 48% on average.
As Eckel said, men are competent adults who are more than capable of getting things done around the house without being nudged by their partners to do so. After all, if they lived alone, they would cook their own food, wash their own clothes, and (hopefully) clean up after themselves.
It is not solely up to women to maintain the household and it's well past time men start acting like it.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.