Woman Shares The Random Reminder Of Her Ex That Finally Made Her Realize She's Grateful For Their Divorce
“We go where we are needed to grow.”
My Ocean Production / Shutterstock Divorce is never easy. No matter how much time has gone by following a breakup or divorce, most individuals still occasionally experience waves of regret and sorrow, wondering if they made the right decision.
One woman shared the random reminder she found of her ex-wife that triggered her to feel regretful. However, this feeling led to a profound realization that made her grateful for the experience despite the pain and heartbreak.
She took to TikTok to unpack her revelation about the growth that comes with choosing divorce.
Sam Hopwood is an artist and author. She recently posted a video after discovering that her ex-wife was still sharing her Google calendar with her three years after their divorce.
“It kind of spun me out for a second, and I had to be like, wait, why did we get divorced?” she candidly shared. “I wanted kids; she wasn’t ready. And just the way that it all played out really highlighted what was wrong with our dynamic.”
Throughout their relationship, Hopwood discovered that she and her now ex-wife had differing values. She realized that she would not be able to heal in her relationship because she continued repeating the same toxic patterns that she adopted from her own family.
Yet, three years of growth later, she couldn’t help but wonder if she was wrong to walk away.
“I started going down the hole of, like, God, we really could've worked it out probably,” she continued. “But I'm saying that from a healed place right now.”
Hopwood is not alone in this experience — many have the strength to choose themselves yet still experience doubts and regrets years later.
"If I was me right now three years ago in that relationship, I might’ve come to the same conclusion of, like, maybe I don't want children," she reflected. "And we probably would’ve continued having a blast. We had a great relationship 90% of the time."
With the painful reminder of the love she once shared came a sage reminder of her growth.
Despite the regret and curiosity about what could've been, she embarked on the exact path that was meant for her to heal.
"I think this is the lie that we get trapped into, and this is where regret comes from," she realized. "I had to grow, and I wasn't going to be able to grow; I wasn't going to be able to heal in the ways that I have since being out of that relationship."
Relationships and marriage offer us a beautiful experience of learning how to love and grow alongside another person, but sadly, sometimes relationships inhibit our individual growth.
When two people differ too widely in their compatibility or desires, they have the choice to either compromise or walk away and focus on their own needs. Despite the immense pain the latter can invite into our lives, it also offers another form of beauty that we may not have achieved without making such a difficult decision — self-healing.
"I wouldn't have gotten to this place if I stayed; I wouldn't have done the healing," Hopwood affirmed. "I wouldn't have done the growth that I was able to achieve out of the context of that relationship."
When going through a breakup, it may not seem like it at the moment, but later on, you'll be grateful you chose to work on yourself and your needs so you can grow and heal.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to let go of what isn't serving us.
Too often, individuals stay in relationships desperate to make it work without realizing the toll it's taking on their well-being.
TikTokers in the comments shed light on their own heartbreaks, noting Hopwood's remarkable level of emotional intelligence to recognize the beauty that came out of her pain.
"I have been missing my former partner so much lately after learning of a few steps they've taken in their life, and this video reminded me that neither of us would be who we are now if we hadn't separated, even though we loved each other fiercely," one commenter wrote. "Thank you for bringing me back to my present a little bit."
"As someone who is divorced, I love that you put this out there," another user shared. "It’s OK to feel sad but always remember you wouldn’t be where you are today if it wasn’t for that."
Going through a breakup, especially a divorce, is one of the most painful human experiences, but it's also the beginning of another journey.
"If you're going through a divorce or a big breakup and then a couple of years [later] something reminds you of them ... just know you've changed a lot because of that breakup, because of that divorce," Hopwood expressed. "And because of the experience of getting out of it and navigating yourself, or whatever the case might be, don't have regret. We go wherever we're needed to go to grow."
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.