Woman Explains Why The 'She Deserved The Purse' Trend Hurts Moms More Than It Helps Them — ‘People Are Greedy’

What started off as a kind gesture has brought out the worst in some people.

mom shopping for diapers Juliya Shangarey | Shutterstock
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If you’re on social media, you’re most likely familiar with the “she deserved the purse” that has been taking the internet by storm.

However, what began as a genuine act of kindness intended to help out struggling parents has disturbingly backfired as others raid items on store shelves, hoping to pocket the funds for themselves.

Now, people are warning each other to refrain from participating in the viral trend to protect parents who truly need financial support and store employees who are just trying to do their jobs.

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One woman explained why the ‘she deserved the purse’ trend is harming moms more than it is helping them.

As Danaesha Gonzalez was shopping at her local Target store, she noticed a stylish purse on the shelf in the infant care section. The purse seemed to be out of place amongst the baby lotions, children’s Tylenol, and water.

However, Gonzalez, who is a mother herself, was quickly able to determine how the purse ended up there. It was most likely something that a mother wanted to treat herself to, but after seeing the prices of the baby care products she needed, she selflessly decided to take the purse off her list.

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@denaeshagonzalez To the Mother who chose themselves last, you deserve the world tonight and always.🤎 #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #parenting #parentsoftiktok ♬ original sound - 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗🇵🇱

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Gonzalez shared a TikTok video of the heartbreaking image with a message to all of the dedicated mothers who are often forced to put themselves last.

“To the mother who chose themselves last, you deserve the world tonight and always,” she captioned her video, also adding “She deserved the purse” in the text overlay.

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Gonzalez’s video gained over 24 million views, and thus, the “she deserved the purse” trend was born.

Some well-known social media influencers decided to surprise struggling parents by stuffing wads of cash into baby products such as diaper boxes and formula containers. 

This gave them some extra funds to buy a little something for themselves the next time they went to the store. 

While the trend was meant to help out parents who could not afford to treat themselves in order to provide for their children, it didn’t take long before others saw it as a way to steal the money for themselves.

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Soon, shoppers and store employees discovered shelves in the infant care sections to be completely ransacked as selfish individuals ripped apart diaper boxes and formula containers in search of cash.

One fellow mother is begging others to stop participating in the harmful trend after she saw a group of teenage girls rummaging through formula containers while shopping at Target.

After confronting the girls and telling them that the money was for parents in need, they simply laughed.

People are greedy, people are selfish. They're gonna go and take that money for themselves,” the mom, Irina Savon, addressed in a TikTok video regarding the trend.

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“People are just taking advantage of it at this point, and it's not even going to the moms anymore.” 

@irinasavon Shoutout to the mon who saw me taking to those girls and backed me up 🫶🏻 This is not ok! What was meant to be a sweet gesture to help moms, has now turned into something so disgusting. #shedeservedthepurse #motherhood #helpingmoms #motherhoodunplugged #target ♬ original sound - 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗🇵🇱

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Instead of stuffing money into products on shelves that others can easily steal for themselves, the woman urged others to help out parents in more direct ways.

“If you really, truly wanna help a mom out, go give someone a gift card. Go buy them a coffee. Go buy them some groceries. Go pay for some of their items in Target when they're checking out or Walmart when they're checking out,” she suggested.

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You can also approach a parent shopping in the baby section of a store and offer to buy them a box of diapers or a couple of packets of wipes.

Savon added that further investigation of the baby section at Target uncovered a heartbreaking and horrifying sight. “The aisles were absolutely a mess inside of Target. Every single baby bottle was open. All of the diapers were open. Formula bottles were just thrown around. It was just a complete mess in there,” she said.

“As soon as I saw this trend come out, I already saw this. This is gonna happen. You can't even do nice things anymore for people.” 

American families, especially single parents, are struggling in our current economy.

The cost of childcare nowadays has skyrocketed, and many American families are struggling to provide even the most basic needs for their children. 

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A survey conducted by the National Diaper Bank Network found that nearly half (47%) of American families report not always having enough diapers on hand to change their children, finding it difficult to afford them, and running out of them before their next paycheck.

Additionally, baby formula can cost up to $1,500 per year, according to the U.S. Surgeon General.

That does not even include the cost of clothes, wipes, car seats, strollers, cribs, and all other necessary baby supplies that families need.

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Still, many people who are not parents are unaware of these stats and decide that they need the money — even if it means destroying formula cans and leaving them scattered all over store aisles to get to it.

While the intent of the short-lived 'she deserved the purse' trend was to lend a helping hand to struggling families, the most important lesson we may have learned from it is that not every good deed has to be filmed and posted on social media. 

@paige.sachs

I would love to imagine that everyone who participated in this trend had nothing but the best intentions. However, I think this trend has shown us that not every good deed needs to be recorded.

♬ original sound - 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗🇵🇱

No matter how many kind people there are in the world, there will always be those looking to take advantage to feed their own greediness.

Hopefully, the kindness behind the trend will continue in more meaningful ways by helping struggling single moms and parents directly.

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.