Woman Says ‘Lazy’ Parents With Messy Houses Traumatize Their Kids
"You will either get offended or inspired," she said.
RDNE Stock project | Pexels All of our houses get messy at some point or another — dishes that need to be washed, laundry that needs to be folded, toys that need to be put away — it happens. But there is a difference between messiness that can be cleaned easily versus a consistent pattern of filthiness caused by laziness — which according to one woman, can traumatize a child.
A woman claimed ‘lazy’ parents with messy houses traumatize their kids.
Self-proclaimed "tough love BFF," Kylie Perkins, posted to TikTok calling out parents who live in filthy homes. Her argument: These living conditions are traumatizing their kids and don't provide a safe and healthy childhood experience.
"You are making your kid's life harder and worse by being lazy, by not cleaning your house, you are affecting your children, you are embarrassing them," Perkins said. "Everyone wants to talk about gentle parenting and 'don't give your kids trauma' and 'you know we don't want to be our kids' first bullies,' but your house is disgusting? You are traumatizing your kid."
She then expressed confusion as to how it has gotten to the point where people are comfortable giving themselves excuses as to why their house isn't clean instead of actually spending time cleaning.
The woman understood the impact of living in an unclean environment as a child because it was her lived experience.
According to Nancy Darling Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Oberlin College, cluttered spaces "increase stress and make it harder for kids to focus and to sleep." Children may also mimic this same behavior in the future because they were never taught how to clean and maintain their living spaces.
kickstand | Canva Pro
Perkins went on to explain that so many parents don't want to admit how wrong they are for not properly cleaning their houses because they have victim mentalities. She spoke as someone who was raised by parents with this type of mindset.
"I was raised by two people who have victim mentalities, and it destroyed my childhood, and I had to fight so hard to be a better person and to teach myself to be a functioning adult, and it sucked," she said. She then impressed upon viewers that they need to commit to doing better for both their kids and themselves.
There is a difference between messy and traumatizing.
For those of you who don't understand the difference, a messy house is one that can be cleaned up easily. Dishes piled up in the sink? They can be washed within an hour. Laundry that's sitting in baskets after being washed? They just need to be folded. Toys scattered around the house? They can be picked up and put away. Essentially, there may be clutter, but it can be dealt with pretty easily.
Filthiness, however, is a much different story. It refers to unsanitary conditions within a household caused by not keeping up with the demands of cleaning the house. Skipping the dishes every now and then is okay as long as it still gets done, but letting the dishes pile up for weeks to the point where the dishes in the sink have a developed smell is dirty.
Messy houses are natural, but filthy houses are unacceptable. Homemaker and cleaning expert Victoria Yost stitched Perkins' video to share her opinions, saying that so many people make excuses instead of dealing with the problem.
"When we're making excuses saying 'well, I have this' [and] 'I deal with this,' you are letting those challenges become you instead of you dealing with those challenges," she told viewers. Parents need to end the excuses and begin the cleaning process.
Children deserve to grow up in a clean and comfortable environment.
No child should grow up ashamed to invite people over or feel uncomfortable in their own home. So, while it may be difficult to accept, some parents need to become more responsible for cleaning so their children have a safe and secure place to call home.
That means stop giving yourself excuses and remember who you're doing it for, your kids. If you want your kids to feel loved, you have to show them through action. Part of that is providing them with the clean home they deserve to live in.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer who covers relationships, culture, and human interest topics.