Woman Reminds Anyone Struggling With The Way They Look That ‘You Are Not An Image, You Are An Experience’
No one really looks at us and judges us solely based on what they see.
Pormezz | Shutterstock We live in a world where we are constantly overrun with images of beautiful faces and perfect bodies. Because of this, a lot of people are not happy with the way they look. One woman is doing what she can to remind people that they are so much more than just what they see in the mirror.
A woman argued that we are not meant to be enjoyed as images, but rather as experiences.
A TikTok content creator named Avi, known as @beingandbecomingavi, shared her thoughts on the high beauty standards we hold ourselves to and why they really shouldn’t matter. In a TikTok video, Avi explained why she believes we should never judge ourselves by how we look.
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“I used to think I was really ugly,” she admitted, “and then I understood the whole ‘we were never meant to see our own faces’ theory, and it just changed the way I see myself.” Avi went on to explain, “This is my understanding of it,” she said. “Humans were never supposed to see their faces this much, and that’s exactly why so many of us struggle with self image.”
She explained that, for our ancestors, looking at themselves clearly for extended periods of time wasn’t really an option. “For most of history, the only reflection we ever saw of ourselves was in water, and even then it was kind of blurry,” she said. “It wasn’t very clear. You couldn’t see your imperfections.”
In this kind of situation, which was really ideal, there was no opportunity for comparison. “And here’s what’s even crazier,” she continued. “We could see everyone else, but we could never compare because we never knew what we really look like.”
After mirrors were invented, everything changed.
“But then mirrors got invented and people could see themselves every day,” she said. “And then photos came out and then videos and now social media.” Avi added, “We see millions of faces and they’re edited. They’re filtered and that’s when we start comparing. We start finding flaws in ourselves that we weren’t even supposed to ever notice.”
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“All this stuff really stressed me out, so I tried to see something a bit more positive about the whole thing,” she said. “Here’s the truth that I’ve understood. The way you see yourself is not real. You think you’re seeing what everyone else sees but you’re not.”
Avi is right. We are much more critical of ourselves than others would ever be. “Other people don’t study your face the way you do — every angle, every flaw,” she shared. “They see you in movement, in laughter, in moments. And that’s why beauty has never been just about looks. It’s about how you carry yourself, your energy.”
“You were never supposed to see your face this much,” she reassured. “You were never supposed to think about it this much because you are not an image, you are an experience, and that’s what people remember.”
Although mirrors have been commonplace for years, in the entirety of human history, they are a relatively new invention.
According to Brown University, the history of mirrors being used to look at one’s reflection can be traced back to ancient Greece in the fifth century BCE. These mirrors were made of reflective metal. Glass did not enter the picture until the third century AD, although these early glass mirrors were mostly used as an accessory.
Later, around the 1200s, the early versions of the mirrors we know today were produced, with Venice, Italy being a hotspot for their creation. That’s only about 800 years of time.
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The invention of mirrors as we know them today has allowed people to gaze and ruminate upon their reflections for as long as they would like. Because we have come to know our own appearances so well, we can also compare the way we look to others.
Mirrors were a fantastic invention, and being able to see yourself is a gift, but sometimes it may just be too much. We could all use a break from our own reflections.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.