Woman Constantly Makes Baked Goods For Her Married 'Work Husband' Despite His Lack Of Interest
There are many layers to workplace harassment.
YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV / Shutterstock Many coworkers find it amusing and fun to have a "work wife" or "work husband," usually a coworker with whom you share a platonic and close relationship that exists solely in the workplace.
But what happens when the lines get blurred? One woman learned the hard way what can happen when you overstep boundaries in the workplace.
A woman is being called 'clueless' after admitting she brings baked goods for her coworker, even though he's married and finds the ordeal uncomfortable.
The 27-year-old woman, who explained that she's been working at her company for around two years, frequently brings baked goods to work.
"I like to cook and bake and my roommate is obsessively a healthy eater so I usually have a lot of leftovers and I always bring them to the office," she wrote in her Reddit post.
About a year ago, another coworker, Denzel, was hired at the company she works for. Immediately after getting hired, Denzel and her "hit it off" and became friends. However, after a few months, the woman's other coworkers began making jokes that she and Denzel were each other's "work husband" and "work wife."
Photo: Alena Darmel / Pexels
She acknowledged that while Denzel is married, she finds the titles "super funny and cute," but explained that their relationship is purely platonic and nothing romantic has ever occurred.
However, she noted that she wouldn't be opposed to their relationship turning romantic, adding, "Denzel is already married and we have great chemistry but nothing has ever happened between us (I wish lol)."
Since she and Denzel were fairly good friends at work, she'd constantly bring him homemade baked items, but he soon stopped eating the snacks.
When she asked him about it, he told her that he and his wife were starting a keto diet. She ended up making a batch of keto muffins so he could enjoy them, but noticed he didn't eat those either. When she asked him about it, he told her that he was trying to lose weight.
"I said he didn’t look like he needed to, but that I’d try to make some healthy snacks next time so that he could partake in my food without compromising his diet," she said.
He assured her that she didn't need to go out of her way to make him food that he was able to eat, but she insisted upon it, bringing him low-calorie keto scones, and even began sending Denzel information "regarding fitness" and "calorie-counting apps" that would keep him informed about his health.
While her intentions may have been good, the employee soon found herself in hot water with another coworker aware of the situation.
The coworker was eventually told to stop or she'd be reported to HR.
One of the woman's other coworkers, Megan, who is friends with Denzel and his wife outside of work, pulled her aside one day to talk. Megan told her that she needed to stop "pushing food on Denzel" because it was making him uncomfortable, since it seemed as if she were interested in him.
Megan then threatened to report the woman to HR if she didn't stop making Denzel uncomfortable while at work. She was shocked at hearing Megan's threat and tried to assure her that she was only trying to be nice to Denzel.
"[I was] trying to accommodate everyone when bringing treats to the office, and Denzel never said anything about being uncomfortable," she said.
The woman pointed out that Megan threatening to report her to HR seemed like an "overreaction," and wondered if she should stop baking or offering Denzel food when he didn't want it.
The majority of people agreed that she was overstepping boundaries.
"You aren’t trying to accommodate him. You are trying to attract him and he is married and not interested," one user wrote. "Back off and respect his wishes that you leave him alone."
Another user added, "He has drawn a clear boundary and even had a colleague re-state that boundary. Please take a seat and leave that man alone... You risk losing your job otherwise and these [folks] aren't in the wrong here, you are."
One in five people have experienced harassment at work.
According to a Gallup survey, approximately 23% of people — more than 1 in 5 individuals — have experienced workplace harassment. Though women experience more harassment in the workplace (8.3%), men can experience it as well (5%).
While many may assume that workplace harassment means being bullied or receiving inappropriate comments, it is an umbrella term for many actions that are considered "unwelcome conduct."
In this case, though this woman may have initially wanted to bring her coworker snacks to build a closer friendship with him, she made her intentions known once she admitted that she wouldn't have objections if her relationship with Denzel moved beyond platonic, despite knowing he was married.
It appears that he told her on numerous occasions that he wasn't interested in her baked goods, but probably felt uncomfortable telling her directly. Instead, he opted to say he was eating healthier and wanted to lose weight.
The woman, however, didn't quite get the hint, and even went so far as to make comments about his body ("I said he didn’t look like he needed to [lose weight]") and pressed him further by sending him fitness-related information.
The point is that when workplace boundaries are crossed, it's extremely uncomfortable and totally unacceptable. Not only is it inappropriate to comment on someone's body, but not taking no for an answer is a clear violation of those boundaries.
Hopefully, the woman understands how she was making Denzel feel uncomfortable and has ceased with her behavior and insistence. Otherwise, a trip to HR may get the point across.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.