Woman Receives An Invitation That Explains Her Role In The Wedding While Her Husband Enjoys The Ceremony — ‘I’ll Be In A Back Room’
"Why would he be invited to watch the ceremony and be part of the reception but not me?"
fizkes | Shutterstock A woman questioned if she should attend the wedding of a close friend after reading some of the stipulations that come with her attendance.
Posting to the subreddit r/amiwrong, she claimed that the wedding invitation detailed what she'd be required to do at the event, and it rubbed her the wrong way.
She received a wedding invite explaining her role in the event while her husband was allowed to enjoy the ceremony.
In her Reddit post, she explained that initially, she'd been so excited to receive a wedding invitation in the mail because of how much she enjoyed attending weddings. It was addressed to both her and her husband, and when she looked closely at the notecard attached to the invitation, she noticed a peculiar detail.
"I picked up the notecard and read that, and while my husband was invited ... I'd be in another room helping to babysit all the children there with several other female invitees. There's a special room for children at the church, and that's where I'd be," she shared.
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On top of being relegated to taking care of the kids attending, she was also expected to buy a dress for the ceremony in case she needed to be in any photos.
But for the reception, she'd be taking her meal and eating it with the children instead of all of the other guests. To make matters worse, she and her husband were expected to pay $100 each to hold their place at the reception, which would include their meals.
To add insult to injury, she's a 50-year-old woman with a disability and needs to carry an oxygen tank with her for health reasons. She also uses a walker for long distances as well. While she's more than capable of sitting in a room and watching the kids, if something were to happen that required her to act or move quickly; she wouldn't be able to.
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She shouldn't be responsible for watching other people's children at a wedding, especially if she's being invited as a guest.
Since her husband is free to enjoy the event as he chooses, it feels like a gender-based decision. Just because she's an older woman does not automatically mean she is fine with watching and caring for all the children at the event.
If the couple getting married didn't want the children interrupting the ceremony and reception, then they should've either made their wedding child-free or hired some sort of childcare service to watch and entertain the kids so that everyone invited could have fun.
She's begun questioning if she should even attend the wedding in the first place.
"My husband isn't the one who has been friends with these people since childhood. I am. Why would he be invited to watch the ceremony and be part of the reception but not me?" she pointed out.
When her husband learned about the wedding invitation, he immediately volunteered to watch the kids on her behalf, but she figured the couple wouldn't allow that since they specified that women would be watching after the kids.
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She questioned if this was a normal practice at weddings and if she should call the couple and try to explain why her health concerns made the task more difficult.
According to theknot, when it comes to childcare at a wedding, the onus is on the bride and groom to provide a paid service to ensure guests can enjoy themselves freely. If that's not feasible in terms of costs, they should consider age restrictions for guests.
"I hate having to pull the health card, but honestly ... what were they thinking? I confess that I feel offended and hurt that I'm nothing more than a babysitter to them who is expected to pay for my supper and babysit for free. Would I be wrong to simply tell them we won't be able to attend and to find another sitter?"
Simply put, no, she would most definitely not be wrong for declining the invitation.
She has every right to refuse to attend a wedding that would rather prioritize male guests, at least according to the invite, and force all of the women who are attending to miss out on the celebrations.
A wedding should be about the couple's experience, but the comfort of the guests should also be taken into consideration.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.