Woman Says She ‘Doesn’t Get’ The Way Society Treats Introverts — ‘Socializing Is Not Just Speaking’
"The world can't just be full of extroverts."
fizkes | Shutterstock Many people assume that all introverts are shy or uncomfortable in social settings. They get labeled "mysterious" and "closed off," simply because they are not as outgoing or talkative as their extroverted counterparts.
With the stereotypes and misconceptions surrounding introverted people, it's no wonder they often feel incredibly misunderstood. Sandra, an introvert on TikTok, pointed this out, expressing her confusion about the unfounded bad rep introverts seem to have.
The woman said she 'doesn't get' how society treats introverts.
"What I don't get, and something that I really want to rant about, is how society treats people who are quiet, reserved, shy, or introverted," Sandra began.
She described herself as someone who likes to socialize—though not in the way many people (e.g., extroverts) assume. "I would consider myself the type of person who genuinely likes to socialize because I like listening, observing, and getting to know people," she explained.
Yet when discussing the first impression she gives off, she's often told that she appears "quiet" and "reserved" — a sentiment that confuses her. In Sandra's mind, she is simply listening and observing, something she genuinely enjoys.
As someone who's both shy and introverted, meeting new people can be overwhelming, and social situations where I'm forced to mingle with people I don't know can be tough. Like Sandra, I tend to listen and observe, both because I enjoy it and because it helps me gauge the room's temperature.
People often assume I was "mean" or "intimidating" because of my quiet and reserved nature. However, once those people earned my trust and I got more comfortable, my talkative and social side became more apparent.
Just because a person is quiet doesn't mean they're not engaged in the conversations around them — in fact, it's quite the opposite.
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There are 'two sides' of socializing — talking and listening.
"There's the talking part and then there's the listening and observing," Sandra said of socializing. "The world can't just be full of extroverts. I feel like people just expect everyone to be this extroverted, talkative person. Not everyone can be like that, and that's fine."
“I think the world needs balance,” she continued. “With every extroverted person, you need an introvert. With every talkative, loud person, you need that quiet, reserved, shy person.”
Sandra pointed out that it's impossible to have a conversation where everyone is talking at each other, and no one is listening. Yet a shocking number of people in the world are horrible listeners.
Most of the time, people wait for their turn to talk in conversation instead of absorbing the information presented. I pride myself on being a good listener, but I sometimes think about what I will say next rather than truly listen.
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However, while good listeners are rare, they are often not celebrated.
"Whenever someone is shy or quiet, especially in school and work, people either treat you weirdly or people think you have something to hide," Sandra remarked.
Not everyone is an oversharer, and it takes some people more time to open up. That doesn't mean they aren't open about their lives—they just won't spill their guts out of the blue.
"People think I'm closed off and reserved,” Sandra said. “No, I’m an open book. You just have to ask me."
Everyone should challenge their preconceived notions about introverts and talk to them instead. After all, they're great listeners.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.