Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Calling Off Her Wedding After Finding Out Her Fiancé Bought A House With His Mom
She admitted to feeling shocked that he made such a big decision without including her.
Thanakorn.P | Shutterstock A bride-to-be admitted that she was left with no choice but to call off her upcoming wedding after finding out about a recent purchase that her fiancé made without even bothering to include her.
Posting to Reddit, the 28-year-old woman claimed that she doesn't feel comfortable marrying someone who would make a decision she deemed to be as nothing close to "normal." But seriously, how would you respond if the man you were about to marry went behind your back and bought a whole entire house with his mom?
A woman called off her wedding after finding out her fiancé bought a house with his mom.
In her Reddit post, she explained that she and her fiancé had been together for five years and were planning their wedding for the upcoming fall season. She recalled that throughout their relationship, they would often talk about their future, which included having kids and eventually buying a house together.
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They even had a plan to save, find a house they both loved, and make it a home. She pointed out that they had talked about it extensively. However, she was later stunned to discover that her fiancé had secretly bought a home with his mom, which contradicted all of their previous conversations about settling down.
The house he bought with his mom wasn't even intended for his future family.
"Turns out he already bought a house. But not with me… with his mom. He didn’t even tell me he was looking. Apparently, she found 'the perfect place' and convinced him to split it with her because she 'didn’t want to rent anymore,'" she explained.
So, if the house they bought is for mother and son to live in, where does that leave her? Considering she and her fiancé are about to take the next step in their relationship and get married, her frustration is justifiable.
There was never a discussion about living with her future mother-in-law. She wrote, "So now, instead of us planning our future together, he’s financially tied to his mother, who’s going to be living there full time." A marriage is between two people, not their parents, siblings, or other family members. His relationship with his mother is entirely his business, but it shouldn't take precedence over his wife and their upcoming life together.
Sadly, it sounds like her fiancé is less committed to their relationship and their future than he should be. Relationship expert Jeremy Nicholson, MSW, Ph.D., told Brides, "Generally, individuals who are ready for a commitment tend to behave in ways that are more open toward their partner and that enhances the relationship." Buying a house behind your fiancée's back and intending to live there with your mom isn't exactly behaving in a way that is open and enhancing the relationship.
He informed his fiancée that she could live with him and his mom if she wanted to.
"When I asked where I fit into all this, he goes, 'Oh, well, you can move in too, of course!' Like I’m supposed to be thrilled to live in a house his mom picked out, partially owns, and is just… there all the time. He also admitted he did it because 'I was taking too long' to save, and his mom offered him a 'faster way' to own something," she continued.
If he felt that she was taking too long or that the pace they were moving didn't suit him anymore, the best solution would've been to talk to her about it instead of immediately turning to his mom for help. They should have spoken openly and honestly about their financial future. Instead, he may have ruined their entire future.
She admitted that she was both shocked and angry and told her fiancé that she needed some space. The more she thought about it, however, the more she realized that she couldn't marry someone who was so cagey and deceptive. She eventually decided to call off the wedding, much to the disappointment and anger of his side of the family.
At the end of the day, she made a decision that she knew would be beneficial to her. There's no reason why she should've subjected herself to marrying a man who made major life decisions without even letting her know first. If he was making a choice like this before they got married, who's to say things wouldn't get worse once they were legally bound together?
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.