Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Wanting To Get Her Tubes Tied Without Her Husband's Permission
They agreed that they're done having kids, but her husband believes such a procedure would "damage" her body.
Perfect Wave | Shutterstock After a woman and her husband agreed that they did not want any more children, she began seeking more permanent solutions for birth control. When she brought up the idea of having her fallopian tubes removed to prevent any more pregnancies to her husband, she said that he “completely blew up.”
While he fears that the procedure will “damage” her body, the woman is truly wondering if she needs her husband’s approval before going through with it.
A woman wants to get her tubes tied against her husband’s wishes after they agreed that they were done having kids.
Sharing her story to Reddit, the 28-year-old woman revealed that she and her 28-year-old husband have been married for eight years and have two children together. “[During] those eight years I’ve either been on birth control when we were preventing pregnancy, or tracking my cycle when we were trying to conceive,” the woman wrote.
Recently, the couple agreed that their family was complete and that they were done having children. To prevent any accidental pregnancies, the woman began considering sterilization for either herself or her husband. “The reason I wanted this is because I’ve had every form of birth control before and none of them ever left me feeling 100% okay. So I wanted to be done with birth control completely since we both agreed we’re done,” she shared.
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What she thought would be a productive conversation about effective birth control with her husband was anything but.
She looked into vasectomies for her husband, or a salpingectomy for herself. A salpingectomy is a surgical procedure where either one or both fallopian tubes are removed.
Not only did he reject the idea of a vasectomy, but he said he “forbid” her from getting a salpingectomy because he wouldn’t allow her to “damage” herself like that. “I ended up just leaving the conversation and headed to get our kids from school, but on the way I ended up calling my gynecologist to schedule a consultation for the salpingectomy after making sure I won’t need my spouse’s approval,” the woman wrote.
Even though she confirmed with her doctor that her husband’s approval was not necessary for the procedure, she still wondered if it would be morally acceptable to go through with the salpingectomy knowing how he feels about it.
Most people assured the woman that her husband should have no say in any decisions she makes for her body.
“Your body, your choice and no man can forbid you from controlling your reproductive destiny,” one Redditor commented. “Damage yourself? Does he not realize that birth control has serious side effects?” another user pointed out.
“I hate that you're questioning that. Your body. Your choice. You're done with kids, and this is a logical step,” another wrote.
Hormonal birth control can negatively impact a woman's health.
Men can never truly understand what years of hormonal birth control can do to a woman’s body. It can result in weight gain, irregular periods, acne, nausea, high blood pressure, blood clots, bloating, mood swings, and depression.
“I cannot tell you how many women have talked to me about difficulties with birth control,” Physician Lora Shahine shared in a TikTok video.
For some women, the risks of hormonal birth control outweigh the reward, and having their tubes tied or undergoing a salpingectomy are their best option if they do not want or are done having children.
In a follow-up post, the woman shared that she is contemplating divorce after their conversation.“I’m unsure if divorce will be the path I go down but I want to get my ducks in a row before laying it all down for my husband,” she wrote, noting that she is already speaking to a divorce lawyer.
While she claimed that she and her husband have handled their disagreements amicably until now, there is no negotiating or coming to a resolution when someone is trying to control another person’s bodily autonomy.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.