Woman Asks If She Should Attempt To Stop Her 26-Year-Old Sister’s Wedding To A 79-Year-Old Man
"I think what she is doing is disgraceful.”
Sveta Y | Shutterstock Age-gap marriages are nothing new, but that doesn't mean they don't raise eyebrows, especially when the groom is old enough to be the bride's grandpa. That's exactly why a woman turned to Slate's advice column, in fact. Her 26-year-old sister was engaged to a man 53 years her senior.
After speaking with the man’s daughter, who is also horrified by the planned nuptials, she confessed that the two are brainstorming a plan to sabotage the marriage. Some part of her clearly feels guilty, however, because she wrote to "Pay Dirt" for advice on if she should actually go through with it.
A woman wondered if she should attempt to stop her 26-year-old sister’s wedding to a 79-year-old man.
The woman revealed that her 26-year-old sister, Nadia, was planning to marry a 79-year-old man named Paul at the end of this summer. However, she wasn't exactly supportive of the relationship. “Paul is loaded (as in, he’s a multimillionaire) and that is the sole reason she is with him. I know this because she has told me so,” the woman wrote. “She also hopes to have a baby with him so she can be ‘set for good.’ I think what she is doing is disgraceful.”
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The woman explained that Paul’s daughter, Wendy, also disapproves of the marriage and can “see right through” Nadia. Now, the two are conjuring a plan to sabotage the wedding.“Wendy suggested that I speak to Paul’s attorney and reveal what I know about Nadia’s motive for marrying him,” the woman shared.
“Does that sound like a viable path to putting the kibosh on the marriage?” She also added that Wendy attempted to talk her father out of the marriage, to no avail.
The advice columnist sympathised with the woman but asserted there wasn't really anything she could do to dismantle the age-gap romance.
“I totally get why you’re concerned, and I’d feel the same way in your shoes. The whole thing feels transactional at best, and predatory at worst — I especially feel for the potential child, if their entire existence is based on someone else’s financial security,” advice columnist Kristin Wong wrote. “But ultimately, this is Nadia and Paul’s decision. Assuming both parties have their full mental capacities, they’re two consenting adults who are free to make their own choices.”
She noted that there might be a chance that Paul is already well aware of Nadia’s intentions and has no issue with it. Wong suggested that the woman sit down with her sister to have a talk so that she could express her concerns. “You and Wendy might not agree with those choices, but rather than try to sabotage the marriage — which might leave your sister feeling betrayed and distrusting — I’d encourage you to focus your energy elsewhere,” she wrote.
“Schedule a time to sit down with her and talk through your worries, and make sure it comes from a place of concern — and curiosity — rather than judgment.” She went on to say, “Most importantly, listen to what she has to say about it, too. Ask her what she likes about Paul, what she expects her life to look like, and what having a baby means to her. It’s possible that there are aspects of the relationship that she hasn’t told you about.”
The bride-to-be is an adult who can decide to marry whomever she wants.
Many people hold on to hope that marriage is about love and companionship, but the reality is, people get married for many different reasons, and money is one of them. In fact, a recent survey found that nearly a quarter of Gen Zers won't even consider marrying someone who makes less money than they do.
Combine that with a survey conducted by Clever Real Estate, which found that 20% of respondents would consider marrying someone solely for financial security, and the truth becomes clear. Lots of people prioritize money and wealth over love when considering a lifelong commitment.
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“Some 20% of Americans report that financial stability is a top priority. This aligns with the common perception that marriage can bring financial benefits, as argued by economists and sociologists who advocate for its preservation,” the report stated.
Even if we personally would not marry for financial reasons, others find it beneficial and determine that it is the right decision for them. After all, marrying someone for their money does not mean that they don’t have a meaningful connection and relationship. Paul is likely well aware that if he was in a different tax bracket, Nadia wouldn't have even flirted with the idea of a first date.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
