Woman Admits The Way Her Husband Shows Her Affection In Front Of Their Toddler Gives Her ‘The Ick'
Some things should be kept in the privacy of one's bedroom.
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock Experts say it's healthy for kids to see their parents be affectionate toward one another. A little bit of G-rated PDA shows children what healthy intimacy looks like and provides a sense of security. Yet, parents can certainly take this too far. No kid wants to see their mom and dad making out after all.
One woman on Reddit confessed that she is uncomfortable with the degree to which her husband expresses his affection toward her when their young child is in the room.
The woman admitted that the way her husband shows affection toward her in front of their toddler gives her 'the ick.'
"My husband has always been very attracted to me…and makes it known," she wrote in a Reddit post. "He takes every opportunity during the day to push me up against a wall, down on the bed, or bend me over. Then he will go in for a deep kiss or say something sexual to me."
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If their 2-year-old happens to enter the room, her husband will usually remove himself and carry on. Yet, sometimes, he makes his affection for his wife known in front of their child too.
“He also frequently says things to our child like, ‘Go play in your room so Mommy and Daddy can play in their room’ and winks at me,” the woman added.
She questioned if this kind of behavior was normal or acceptable in front of children. “I have memories of my Dad doing similar things to my Mom, but it made me (as the child) feel so uncomfortable,” she confessed.
Commenters insisted that if her husband’s behavior makes her uncomfortable, she should bring it up with him.
“If he’s making you feel uncomfortable, then certainly have a calm discussion with him about it. Maybe suggest only being playful with you like that when your 2-year-old is asleep or otherwise occupied safely," one Redditor advised. "I agree that his behavior is icky and that would be off-putting for me as well."
"I guess it depends on the extent to which he does it, but if it made you uncomfortable growing up, there could be a chance it makes your child uncomfortable," another commenter pointed out. "Even if your child is too young now to notice or remember, that will not always be the case."
"Talk to him! There’s a difference between being loving with each other in a sweet way that demonstrates a healthy relationship to your child, and being sexual," a third user wrote.
In an update to the post, the Redditor shared that she took the commenters' advice and spoke to her husband.
"I had a gentle talk with [my] spouse sharing much of the points mentioned in this thread," she shared. "He was very receptive and has been so much more respectful! Communication is so key."
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While there is nothing wrong with showing your kids that their parents love each other, you may want to cool it on the PDA when you’re in their presence. Love and affection are not quite in the same category as sexually explicit actions or words.
Children pick up on far more than we realize, and if they see that it is OK to cross a line or boundary, they will be more likely to cross other people’s boundaries or allow others to cross theirs. Just because you are married, doesn’t mean you should let your spouse do things to you that you are uncomfortable with.
Thankfully, it seems an open and honest conversation was all this couple needed to solve their problem.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.