9 Reasons Some People Prefer Being In A ‘Hermit Phase’ All Alone & Away From Drama
Making space for alone time in your routine can be equally healing and transformative.
Fizkes | Shutterstock.com No matter how old you are or what kind of emphasis you place on social connection, the impact of alone time in our routines is profoundly important to prioritize. Experts from a 2016 study on isolation even suggest that for older individuals who spend most of their time alone, crafting a “balance” to ensure we’re reaping the rejuvenating benefits of solitary time is transformative.
While it’s difficult for many extroverts to prioritize, there are several reasons some people prefer being in a hermit phase all alone and away from drama — not just for their mental health but to cultivate creativity and curiosity in their day-to-day lives. Of course, as empathy coach Fraya Mortensen argues, it’s important to utilize this alone time in beneficial ways, ensuring that your return to social connection is healthy rather than isolating.
Here are 9 reasons some people prefer being in a ‘hermit phase’ all alone and away from drama:
1.They’re more productive.
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According to a 2021 study on adolescent solitary activities, how we spend our alone time impacts the benefits and sometimes consequences we reap from it. They craft three main “types” of activities that a hermit phase could encompass: passive media, engaged activities, and thinking. When we use an activity like passive media to pass the time without investment, there’s often a negative effect like loneliness. In contrast, a more intentional “thinking” activity like journaling is more productive.
Many people find that they’re more productive when they enter into a “hermit phase” with this kind of engaged intentionality, whether finishing a project or investing time into a creative venture that outward distractions and influence could alter. While social connections can recharge some people, others prefer intentional isolation under an unspoken assumption that they’ll return at some point.
2.They are building up their confidence and self-esteem.
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A Nursing Clinics of North America study argues that healing your inner child is incredibly profound yet challenging. The wounds from dysfunctional childhoods and toxic relationships stick with us, whether we’re aware of it or not, and can often perpetuate a feeling of unworthiness as our needs go continuously unaddressed and unresolved.
Many people prioritize this inner child work by being in a hermit phase, away from the external pressures and toxic societal standards that perpetuate a cycle of self-esteem problems in adults. By taking the time to reassess their internal needs and unpack childhood trauma that’s causing them to feel unseen by the people in their lives, they can return to social connection from a healthier, more confident, and self-assured foundation.
3.They feel more creative.
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While a study from the Journals of Gerontology recognizes that the correlation between alone time and loneliness is impactful, especially for older individuals, they argue that the presence of creativity tends to support people’s mental health, even amid a hermit phase. When people feel more creative while alone, they tend to feel less lonely.
Individuals who intentionally enter a hermit phase or spend time alone to create something or finish a creative project harness a profoundly beneficial cycle of creativity. The art of creating and expressing creativity improves their emotional health while also protecting them from the consequences of loneliness and spending time alone.
4.They can reconnect with their spiritual side.
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If you’re stuck in old thought patterns or influenced by toxic beliefs, the ability to genuinely restructure them to suit your life better is no easy task. If you’ve already acknowledged that you’ve grown out of them, that’s a significant first step at unlearning them, according to life coach María Tomás-Keegan, but the next step is essential: making space to figure out what you truly want.
This intentional act of learning is one of the reasons people prefer to be in a hermit phase all alone and away from drama—it helps them center themselves and commit to focusing on their desires, beliefs, and goals.
By intentionally using a hermit phase to learn about what you want and need, whether, through journaling, inner child work, therapy, or another practice, you can return to the world with a more foundational belief system to guide healthy connection.
5.They can create boundaries that work for them.
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Outside the pressures and influence of social connection and external validation, people who prefer the “hermit phase” away from drama tend to utilize this time to craft better boundaries, at least according to empathy coach Fraya Morensen. They’re not only re-energized by learning about themselves and unpacking their emotions, whether on a day-to-day basis or even monthly, but they also feel more empowered to reassess their wants and needs.
When they exit this hermit phase and return to typical social interactions, they can set and advocate for those boundaries from a more self-assured perspective — protecting the health and longevity of their relationships. So, while this alone time might not center social connection in the moment, it’s beneficial in the long run.
6.They can take the time to process their emotions.
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A study from the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology argues that there’s no way to sidestep the practice of processing and healing from your emotions—experts agree that “the only way out is through.” Of course, the reality of actually working through complex emotions looks different for everyone. Still, this practice is one of the reasons some people prefer being in a hermit phase, all alone and away from drama.
They can journey towards self-evaluations of their needs and desires, a more self-assured perspective, and healing by intentionally entering a hermit phase where they feel equally more self-aware and supported. Once they feel more comfortable with their thoughts, the boundaries they want to protect, and the relationships they need to address, they can return to social connection healthily.
7.They become more self-aware.
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Many people who’ve experienced a hermit phase, whether intentionally or not, find themselves in a quiet place where only their own thoughts, desires, and goals are present—isolating them from the outside world. People who choose to lean into that self-awareness, truly open to learning about themselves, open the door to more fulfilling relationships once they re-enter the world of social connection.
Without the external pressures or opinions of others, many also feel the urge to restructure their inner circle—finally self-aware enough to realize that their connections aren’t serving them in the same healthy way they were previously. For many people, this kind of alone time without distraction helps them truly get attuned to their true needs, wishes, and desires.
8.They rid themselves of toxic vices and focus on healthier habits.
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While motivation from others can be impactful for unlearning bad habits and a reliance on unhealthy vices, fundamental transformation happens when we can truly rely on our confidence and self-control. Our routines are ours to craft, and our bad habits will only disintegrate when we intentionally change them.
Especially for people with a toxic inner circle or enabling relationships, committing to a hermit phase to change their routine or commit to a new lifestyle goal can be healthy. When they feel confident enough to maintain a routine that suits their mental, physical, and emotional health, the re-introduction of social connection can be impactful in all the right ways.
9.They feel more inspired and motivated.
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We’re all human—the true nature of connection and the benefits of harnessing great relationships will always feed our souls and emotional health. However, for many, feeling inspired enough to seek out those connections comes only after rejuvenating with a hermit phase.
By investing time and energy into our own lives, needs, and healing journeys, we return to social connection from a more informed perspective—able to connect with others without “wearing a mask” or pretending.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News and entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health and wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.