What You See First In This Photo Reveals What Scares You Most About Relationships
The optical illusion reveals your deepest fear about love.
Love, for all its splendor, for all its healing qualities, is also one of the scariest things that we will ever do as people. Different aspects of being in a relationship can scare people, and like so many other not-so-positive sides to our personality, it's not always easy to figure out what our fears are surrounding falling in love and making a relationship work.
We've come up with a quick, easy, and fun visual personality test to help you figure out what your greatest hidden fear is about love. It couldn't be easier: Simply look at the image below and pay attention to watch catches your eye first.
Then, scroll down and read about how what you saw first reveals your secret hidden fears about love. It's not always easy to look at the things that scare us about relationships, but if we can confront our fears, we might stand a chance at conquering them altogether.
The easiest ways to conquer your fears after you've identified them? Research from Harvard Business Review suggests the most effective way to combat fear is to do the thing you least want to do — face your fear head-on — but do it one step at a time, healthily and safely.
What you see first in this photo reveals what scares you most about relationships:
1. The haloed hummingbirds
If you saw the haloed hummingbirds first when you looked at this image, what scares you the most about relationships is that they're not always what they seem. You crave love, but at the same time, there's a part of you that's deeply skeptical about it, at least, as you see it taking shape in the lives of the people around you.
Your fear of love can stem from your attachment issues from childhood, which can make it harder for you to form relationships as an adult, one study claims. You aren't broken or jaded, you just haven't met the right person yet. When you do, you'll understand that love doesn't have to "fix" everything or "make you whole." The beauty of a solid relationship is that takes who you already are and challenges you to be an even better version of yourself.
2. The butterfly
If you saw the butterfly first when you looked at this image, your secret fear about being in a relationship is that it will never, ever last. You can't help it — you have a history of good things souring, going bad, or fading away. Every time you fall in love you tend to endgame it, but you don't dream of marriage, you dream of your eventual breakup.
Sure, some relationships don't last. But just because they end that doesn't mean they weren't worth experiencing. That's what dating is, after all: dating and breaking up until one day you don't. Don't stay away from love because you're afraid of how bad it will feel when it ends or you'll risk never experiencing it at all.
3. The vines
If you saw the vines first, your secret fear about love is that it's already passed you by. You've had your fair share of so-called grand love affairs and you plan on dating several other folks, but you can't shake the feeling that someone you broke up with long ago was your soulmate.
Don't believe the hype when it comes to what your love life is supposed to look like. If something ended trust, it did so for a reason. Embody the confident spirit you so often project to your family and friends and trust that the most beautiful part of this journey is all of the new people we meet along the way.
4. The skull
If you saw the skull first, your secret fear about love is losing your sense of self. You love the idea of having a partner in crime, but you dread the idea of staying in any relationship for too long.
That's because you're worried spending too much time with one person will distance you from your true sense of self and that's the scariest thing you can imagine. You are a strong, dynamic, and amazing human being. Opening your heart up to someone isn't going to change or dull that fact. If anything, letting more people in will only make you even more confident in your sense of self.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a freelance writer and editor with a passion for lifestyle, geek news, and true crime topics. Her bylines have appeared on Fatherly, Bustle, SheKnows, Jezebel, and many others.