What Is Habit-Stacking (And Why It Will Make Your Life 10X Better)
It's not about making big changes.
PhotoAttractive, Elena Dy | Canva It is almost the end of March. By now, many have given up on their New Year’s Resolutions. I chose not to make any. I realize that creating resolutions does not work for me. Instead, I traded that practice for something more effective that allowed me to become the person I always wanted to be.
I have been practicing my version of stacking habits.
My process for stacking habits begins with picturing the outcomes I want in my life and who I truly want to be.
The act of visualizing was not enough. I took time to think about what my life would be like if I were my ideal self. I had to ask myself what I would do with my time, how I would eat, and what my work life would look like. How would I manage money? I had to understand what motivates me to do what I do to create a true picture of who I would become.
Then I decided to be her now — not all of her, just a part of her. I started by changing small things. Understanding my motivation helped me to question and unpack a lot of the things I believed.
Making small changes has caused a ripple effect in my life. I knew I had to start somewhere, but I was surprised at where my little efforts had taken me.
I stopped wearing a fitness watch. I did not want to “track” my activity because that habit was rooted in trading exercise for food. The ideal me exercises and moves my body as an act of self-care and to promote longevity. What I eat has nothing to do with why I move.
I also started to prioritize my sleep. I realized that I was depleted most days. Raising an 8-year-old son and working long hours left me longing for my sofa and various comfort foods at the end of each day. Ideal me is rested. I go to bed at a decent hour and stop revenge bedtime procrastination.
Photo: ESB Professional / Shutterstock
I explored my interests. I began to dream again. I thought about the things I always wanted to do. I don’t have a bucket list, but a list of things to stretch me into new interests. I started to do some of the things on the list — one of them was writing online. I tried to start a blog three other times in my life. This time, I spent less time thinking about it and more time doing it.
What I've found is that once I try a new thing and it sticks, I'm open to adding something else.
I tried Pilates and loved it. Now, I've added to that by walking two miles a day. I already know that once this feels like a solid part of my routine, I'll try weight training again. I've always loved the feeling of lifting weights, and it's great for bone density and aging well.
I don't diet, but I incorporate produce and color in the food I eat. It took me working with an emotional eating coach to realize the negative relationship I had with food. I no longer vilify certain foods. Ideal me has no off-limits food; I just eat until I'm satisfied. The result is my body has been naturally letting go of weight. My pants are getting looser, and I don’t have feelings of guilt or shame or expectations of how I should look.
Speaking of looks, I make sure I have clothing that fits my body. I used to believe I had to squeeze into clothing that was too small or wear items that were too large because I was waiting for a weight loss journey to be over to buy a new wardrobe. Now, I buy clothing for myself today — things that fit, in colors I love. It feels amazing to step out of the house and feel well-dressed and cared for.
The path to becoming who I always wanted to be has not been an easy one. However, it has been worth all the time and effort.
As a result of being intentional with how I approach developing new habits, I see changes in my life.
I am more productive. Stacking habits has allowed me to create routines in my life. My routines are comforting in a way that no night of junk food on the couch can match.
I speak to myself kindly. I used to think I had to give myself “tough love” to get things done. My negative self-talk made me feel low and angry. I did not think I deserved to have good things if I did not do things perfectly. I was all or nothing. Now, I give myself grace. I celebrate my accomplishments and learn from my missteps. Everything is information.
I can adapt to life on life’s terms. I think the greatest benefit of habit stacking is the blueprint it creates, which can even help in times of crisis. I recently needed to be there for a friend in crisis, and my habit stacking allowed me to re-establish my routines faster than I expected.
Nicola Williams is an educator, coach, and recovering perfectionist who specializes in helping women who struggle to keep up the façade of “having it all together.” She is also a frequent contributor to Medium.