3 Ways Women Can Reset Their 'Happiness Biology', According To A Beverly Hills MD
Are you at the intersection of comparison, objectification, and hormones?
simona pilolla 2 via Shutterstock If you're a woman, you've probably noticed that everywhere you turn are expectations, pressure, and people who want your energy and your time. Not just kids and partners, but also employers and your parents. On top of all of that, we have shifting hormones and multiple dramatic biological phases of life to contend with.
In the podcast Getting Open, obstetrician-gynecologist Dr. Suzanne Gilberg Lenz and host Andrea Miller sat down to discuss how this system keeps women on a hamster wheel of feeling never good enough. No wonder women are exhausted!
Three biological ways to reset your ability to be happy, according to Dr. Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz
1. Reclaim your nervous system
Dr. Suzanne explains that this never-ending cycle of demands on women's time can create emotional and sensory overwhelm that feels like hyper-vigilance that never ends. How do you know if this is happening to you?
Ask yourself this: Has a feeling of over-stimulation completely taken your life over — to the point where you feel you're never allowed a moment of true downtime?
If downtime is allowed, the whole system will shatter, right? Negative comparison and objectification work together and collaborate with the nervous system to keep the pressure on to look your best, do your best, out-perform, be better than everyone else, and be more than human.
Research on the origins and roles of the amygdala in understanding emotions as explained in the Biomolecules Journal explains shows how emotions arise from activation in several parts of the cerebral cortex. Each part plays a specific role.
If you want to find your way past the non-stop overstimulation of your brain and body, you need to observe how your nervous system is reacting and be compassionate with it. Notice what is making you feel most stressed, what is making you feel panicked, what may even make you want to run and hide. Only then can you make conscious choices to reduce exposure to those things — at least part of the time.
2. Remember that food isn't the only thing our bodies consume
Social media-driven comparison culture, inequitable socially-enforced gender roles, and achievement addiction add up to a lot of stress for women. "When our senses are overloaded with information through social media, poor relationships, and other bad emotional energy, it overwhelms the nervous system. It activates us. We're in fight or flight and our cortisol goes up," Dr. Suzanne explains.
The medical journal Cortex: A Journal Devoted to the Study of the Nervous System and Behavior describes the limbic system as not just one system, but more like an emotional nervous network. Important parts of the brain responsible for emotion, like the amygdala, are located in the limbic system to manage and control emotions. If you find stress is piling up, it can disrupt your ability to be happy.
Being overloaded with stress can make it feel even more overwhelming to reset your nervous system. Dr. Suzanne explained, "We get very busy with being busy and intuitively I think people know it's not very good for us," and can result in a poor mood and poorer health as we spiral emotionally and drag our physical health down with us.
Can women control their emotional nervous system without making things worse?
Krakenimages.com via Shutterstock
3. Filter your stimuli when possible
The best way for women to calm their nervous system is by filtering their stimuli when possible. This can be done by cutting off toxic relationships, finding ways to get some peace of mind, and stepping out of chaotic environments when you feel overwhelmed or sensory overload.
For instance, if a woman is around people who are being too loud, they can wear noise-canceling earplugs or step outside. Taking a moment of silence is beneficial as silence has been shown to increase relaxation and improve mood, as explored in research on the perception of silence published in Frontiers in Psychology Journal.
In the clip below, Dr. Suzanne shares how women experiencing menopause may need to reset their expectations in order to be happy. As a women's healthcare expert, she believes this is just part of finding ways to be happy no matter our stage of life.
4. Do guided meditation
Guided meditation can work according to a systematic review of randomized trials of mind-body interventions for PTSD in the Journal of Clinical Psychology. Not only that, but a meta-analysis published by Scientific Reports showed that combined with the usual treatment, things like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBCT) or Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) served as a good short-term solution for reducing anxiety.
It can't hurt to try things like meditation to clear your mind and lessen your anxiety — even if it's periodically.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
5. Intentionally reconnect with yourself
Andrea Miller commented in the podcast how reconnecting with ourselves is so necessary, and we can only do it for ourselves. However, with all the noise, for example, as a working mom who is cooking a lot, someone who is a high bandwidth person finds themselves overwhelmed and feeding into the narrative of, "I've got to do more more more," so you drive yourself to imbalance.
We individually need to get back to liking and loving ourselves and regularly find a quiet space within ourselves.
Dr. Suzanne noted how touch releases oxytocin, the hormone of love, so self-soothing touch is something you can do to calm yourself to start and end your day. There's something about doing soothing actions for yourself that reconnects you to you.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.