5 Rare Qualities Of Women Who Expect The Future To Be Better And Happier
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Susannah Townsend | Canva Happiness shouldn't have limits. Rarely does anyone think to themselves, "I'm happy enough. I'll just keep myself at this level of happiness and I'll be fine." If we're miserable and aren't OK with it, we want to be happy; if we're happy to start with, we want to be even happier.
But what can you do to make your life better and happier?
Here are 5 rare qualities of women who expect the future to be better and happier:
1. They focus on accomplishments and avoid comparisons
In a piece on Forbes, writer Lisa Quest says, "There is an endless supply of people to whom you could compare yourself and your accomplishments, but, inevitably, you'll always end up on the losing side of the comparison. That's because there will always be someone who has done something you wished you could also accomplish. And it will only take you down a never-ending spiral."
Comparisons can be countered by accomplishments. 2016 research confirmed a sense of accomplishment as an intervention "effective in increasing happiness and ameliorated depressive symptoms," along with "pleasure, engagement, meaning, and positive relationships." All are effective strategies for increasing well-being and happiness.
2. They cultivate joy
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A study published in the Association for Psychological Science journal found that if you smile or stand up straight, it can have a very positive effect on your mood, stress levels, and outlook. Deciding to be happy over being sad can help you feel happier.
3. They put more importance on experiences, not money
Rather than money, the things that give us the most lasting happiness are experiences such as traveling, outdoor activities, new skills, and visiting museums, according to a study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology.
4. They limit their social media use
A study conducted by the Happiness Research Institute found that participants who gave up Facebook were happier and felt more enthusiastic, more decisive, wasted less time, and felt as if they enjoyed life more.
5. They remember the good times
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A study from the University of Liverpool found that one way to build inner strength without seeking external validation is to foster positive thoughts and feelings and that one way to improve your positive thinking is to remember happy joyous times.
Happiness is something that one can never have too much of and something that we all deserve, after all.
In an article in Psychology Today, Raj Raghunathan, author of "If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Happy?," says that as human beings there are some things we absolutely need in order to be happy.
"The first thing we need is that our basic necessities are met: food clothing, shelter, etc. As you can easily imagine, if basic necessities are not met, we can't be happy," he says.
Once our basic needs are met, we can focus on finding happiness, for which Raghunathan believes that there are three additional requirements: social connection or a sense of belonging, feeling that you're good at whatever you've chosen to master in life, and autonomy/freedom (the feeling of having control over our lot in life).
The trick is to approach these happiness requirements in the right way.
For example, you can approach belongingness in two ways: the need to be loved or to love. You can master your craft either by seeking superiority or by following your passion, and you can achieve autonomy either by fighting for external power and control or by internal control.
"Although the need to be loved, the need for superiority, and the need for external control can enhance happiness levels in the short run, they are likely to lower it in the long run," Raghunathan says. "By contrast, the need to love, pursue a passion, and the need for internal control have much better potential to enhance not just short-term happiness, but long-term happiness. Further, they also have the potential to enhance the happiness of others around us."
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and astrology lover who has written for The Los Angeles Times, Salon, and Woman's Day.
