11 Brilliant Ways To Say 'None Of Your Business' Without Actually Saying It
These phrases help set boundaries with people who feel an obligation to know every little detail about your life.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock We've all been there — a family member, friend, or co-worker can suddenly become a bit too intrusive and sneak their opinions into business that may not concern them. The immediate reflex when this happens is to tell that person to mind their business, but sometimes it can seem as if you're snapping at them when you didn't want to be that blunt in the first place.
There are definitely more clever, witty, and polite ways to say "none of your business" without actually saying it. When someone is treading too closely into matters that they don't need to be involved in, there's nothing wrong with setting that boundary in place for personal things that might be happening that you don't want other people to be privy to.
Here are 11 brilliant ways to say 'none of your business' without actually saying it
1. 'I'd rather keep that private'
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This phrase is polite yet incredibly straightforward and no-nonsense. It lets someone know they're getting too close for comfort regarding certain matters. Everyone has a right to their private matters, and if you don't feel comfortable sharing something with someone, you shouldn't feel obligated to.
Psychiatrist Dr. Jyoti Kapoor explained, "By keeping certain aspects of your life private, you may retain a sense of control over your emotions and protect yourself from unnecessary stress and anxiety." By saying "I'd rather keep that private," brilliant people are telling others that they are sticking to their boundaries.
2. 'Let's talk about something else'
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When someone is trying to dive into a topic of conversation that might either make you feel uncomfortable or is something you simply don't want to discuss, the best plan of action is to divert the conversation into safer waters, saying, "Let's talk about something else." Not only does it avoid outright rejection, but it also tells the other person that while you may not want to have that certain conversation, you still want to talk with them.
According to the Gottman Institute, learning how to set boundaries is an important aspect of establishing who you are as a person and how others are allowed to treat you, especially without completely stonewalling the other person.
3. 'I'm not sure I'm ready to share that yet'
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When it comes to things happening in your personal life, you are the only one who's obligated to open up and be vulnerable with those around you. Some topics could either still feel quite raw or you don't have the words yet to describe your emotions and feelings.
Whatever the case may be, no one should ever make you feel as if you are being forced to share things that you aren't ready to share. Using one of the brilliant ways to say 'none of your business' without actually saying it helps maintain your privacy, but also lets the other person know that you may want to revisit this conversation at a later date, just not now.
4. 'I haven't given it much thought'
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This phrase is definitely a smooth and nonchalant way of shutting down a topic of conversation that you truly have no interest in delving into. It signals that the topic is not of any significance to you, and whether or not you've actually given it thought, you're letting the other person know that you refuse to talk about it either way.
You're also being non-confrontational while setting a firm boundary. David Helfand, a clinical psychologist specializing in couples therapy, explained that assertive communication means clearly articulating your thoughts and feelings while setting appropriate boundaries in a firm but compassionate manner.
There are certain aspects that a person needs to exhibit, including trying to stay calm, emphasizing your own needs instead of pointing out someone else's behavior, and trying to maintain open body language.
5. 'Why would you want to know that?'
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Asking this question is one of the great ways to say "none of your business" without actually saying it. This can provide an opportunity for the other person to take a step back and reevaluate if they truly wanted to ask such a personal question when they should know they aren't entitled to an answer.
You're not coming across as rude, which can be an important thing to be aware of when you're in conversation with someone that you actually care about.
According to author Melissa Urban, "You're not being mean when you set boundaries, you're being kind — to yourself and your relationships. But that doesn't mean they're not uncomfortable. Any conflict can be uncomfortable — if your burger comes out rare instead of medium well, I'm betting at least some of you would just eat it rather than speak up."
She continued, "Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable because when we set a boundary, we're expressing a limit that hasn't yet been established (while perhaps pointing out someone else's inconsiderate behavior), and asking if the other person is willing to make an adjustment for the good of the relationship."
6. 'That's a story for another day'
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Saying this phrase alerts the other person that you're not up for talking about that specific topic at that moment, but you also don't want to shut down the conversation altogether. You're deflecting without causing offense, and letting the other person know that maybe someday down the line, you'll tell them everything they want to know about that specific topic, but for now, you're vowing to keep your mouth shut on it.
By being ambiguous and coy, you're allowing the conversation to take a natural turn in a different direction because, again, you don't owe anyone a sliver of your life and personal matters going on.
7. 'Interesting question, I'll get back to you'
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When you've suddenly received a question from someone that you're not ready to answer quite yet, this phrase can be a succinct way to deflect when it's becoming a bit too invasive for your liking. Psychotherapist Hillary Schoninger insisted that intrusive questions can often put you in a defensive state of mind off the bat.
"You might feel uneasy about how to answer these questions to preserve your privacy and model appropriate boundaries," she said. "These questions can be damaging because they can be jarring while holding an undercurrent tone of not being authentic, which can hurt our feelings and emotional stamina."
You're acknowledging that the question they're asking you is interesting, but that you don't feel comfortable answering it right now. However, maybe at some point in the future, you'll be able to give them the answer they want.
8. 'I don't think it's appropriate to discuss'
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If you receive a question or comment that just seems way too personal and intrusive to open up about on the spot, this phrase can be a more polite and precise way to tell someone they need to mind their business. This is a good way to avoid unnecessary confrontation in any situation, whether it's with a family member, friend, co-worker, or neighbor.
Sometimes, certain topics are just off-limits. It doesn't mean that you're never going to talk about it, but there's a time and place.
"Most people who ask intrusive questions do so with a good heart but misguided timing and interest," revealed Jennifer Porter, an etiquette expert. "It's best not to react with a strong response. We're all working to treat others as we hope to be treated, and grace in the face of intrusive questioning is always a great answer."
9. 'That's a personal topic for me'
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Using this phrase is a way to say "none of your business" without actually saying it, letting someone know that they're crossing your personal boundaries without being dismissive or off-putting. You're making it clear that you don't feel comfortable expanding on that certain topic of conversation or question, and while you don't mean to shut them down, for your sake, you don't quite feel like opening up right this second.
Therapist Janette Marsac encouraged people to think of what they might want to say in advance when confronted with a personal or intrusive question from someone in their life. She emphasized the fact that intrusive and rude questions often say more about the asker than they do about you.
10. 'I don't have anything to say to that'
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By using this phrase, you're taking control of the conversation without inviting any other comments or questions about a topic that you just don't feel comfortable talking about. You're letting the other person know that you don't have a response nor will you be giving one because you just don't have it in you to divulge with them details about your life when they don't need to know it.
Some people might take offense to hearing this phrase being spoken to them, but if they're mature and respectful, they'll be able to understand that they may have overstepped their boundaries and should reevaluate why they feel the need to know information that doesn't pertain to them.
11. 'I'm going to keep that one under wraps'
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This phrase is a casual yet firm way to shut down a conversation or a topic that you'd rather not go into detail about. Depending on how you deliver it, it can also serve as a playful and lighthearted way to let someone know that they're stepping into territory that doesn't concern them.
You're letting them know that personal matters involving you and your life don't need to be spoken and talked about while also avoiding confrontation or pushback. And let's be honest — who doesn't love adding a little dramatic flair to their response?
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.