4 Little Ways My Life Is Better Now That I'm Over 50
There are plenty of reasons to resent getting older, but there are more reasons to celebrate it.
kapinon stuio via Shutterstock | Getty Images It doesn’t always feel like there are many gifts to getting old. From forgetting things more easily, hot flashes, managing elderly parents and launching our children into adulthood to an unwanted divorce or relationship ending, none of it is considered fun. But this significant life transition can be a blessing and an opportunity for us to create the life we have always wanted.
As I am now in my mid-50s, I have had time to see some of these benefits in myself, my clients, and my colleagues, as we navigate this brave new world we have been thrust into. While our midlife years have challenges, they also have great opportunities for growth, reinvention, and living life more authentically in our truth.
The ways my life has gotten better now that I am over 50:
1. No longer feeling a need to be agreeable or palatable
I recall feeling betrayed by my body when adjusting to all the physical changes that came along with menopause, the hot flashes, sleepless nights, achy joints, and irritability that rivaled my children in their teenage years.
But as I worked through some of the physical changes, I realized there was a new sense of myself, I no longer was so worried about being agreeable and watering things down so my feedback was more palpable for people to hear.
I started saying it like it was and spoke my truth! I did not worry so much about not hurting other's feelings, or giving the “soft” easy explanations, I spoke my truth, and man was it empowering. No more tap dancing for my audience and not asking for what I wanted for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. I found a new directness, empowered way of speaking my truth unadulterated and without all the I'm sorry, it’s ok, no problem, don’t worry about it I don’t mind.
2. The confidence to ask for exactly what I need
This new way of saying it like it is, and asking for what I wanted without all the apologies was liberating and empowering!! I didn’t worry about everyone else's feelings but moved into a place of, "Hey, it’s ok to ask for what you want, and not worry that someone did not like you asking!" In the words of Austin Powers, "Yeah baby, Yeah!"
3. The ability to let go of what doesn't serve me
Another gift of aging is that I find I have less time for nonsense or things that don’t serve me. The deep recognition that I potentially have less time ahead of me than behind me puts in stark contrast the importance of getting busy and living the life I want.
I don’t have all the time in the world to do the things that are important to me. It helped me identify the people, events, and experiences I wanted to be part of and trim the fat of anything that didn’t move me or align with my values and importance in my life. Amen to living a life for me!
4. The time to prioritize meaningful friendships
Speaking of living a life for me, prioritizing friendships and relationships that nourish and support me, and letting go of those that just feel like an energy drain has been crucial. Whether it had become a one-sided relationship, they chose to live a life of drama and wanted an audience, or we were simply no longer connected, or our values were not aligned, I permitted myself to let those relationships go.
Sabrina Bracher via Shutterstock
I found friendships where it felt joyful, reciprocal, and enjoyable to be with the person. I had spent my life giving people the benefit of the doubt, telling myself, “Oh, they didn’t mean that,” or “They are too wrapped up in their own lives.” What a relief to finally release those friendships and see more kindred souls willing to nurture a friendship and see the value in me!
I love working with women managing life transitions, whether that be adjusting to motherhood, transitioning to life with your adult children, divorce, or navigating retirement. I firmly believe every stage of life is an opportunity for transformation and positive change.
Monica Ramunda is a licensed counselor with a background in witnessing indigenous ceremonies and leading tours in South America, including sacred sites like the Inca Trail and Machu Picchu. She now channels this into her company, Wellness and Wisdom Journeys.