7 Ways To Control Your Anxiety And Be More Carefree, According To Research
How to reduce your anxiety to near non-existence.
Etty Fidele | Unsplash At some point, anxiety and stress affect everyone. They can manifest differently in different people, and the level of anxiety one experiences can vary.
Still, there is one thing for sure: there are research-backed ways to control your anxiety and be more carefree, even if it feels out of control. This is what I’d tell others who want more ease and want to avoid all the mistakes and wasted time I endured to find peace.
Here are ways to control your anxiety and be more carefree:
1. Understand what anxiety really is
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Most of us struggle with stress and anxiety because we misunderstand it. We have social anxiety and say it’s ‘because other people scare me.’
Or we have stress in the office and say it’s because my boss is a jerk. Nope. It’s all self-generated via the power of perception.
There’s nothing to be scared of ‘out there.’ All emotions reflect the state of our thoughts in each moment.
If we have an anxious thought, we will feel it as anxiety. My ‘Untethered Mind’ course shows you more about this. Understanding that our emotions are always tied to thoughts is the first step to freedom.
2. Stop identifying with your anxiety
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Next, let’s acknowledge the most common reason millions continue to suffer from anxiety, even if they’re spiritual and tried everything under the sun to ‘fix’ their problem. This held me back for years.
It’s simply this: they see themselves as an anxious person. Well, congratulations, you’re going to remain anxious. Today, you need to do something seemingly drastic.
You’re going to stop identifying with your anxiety. Remove that from your bio. Stop telling everyone you’re anxious.
Acknowledge that you might occasionally feel anxious, but that doesn’t mean you are anxious. Draw a line in the sand today.
When individuals struggle to identify with their anxiety, it can often be linked to a phenomenon called experiential avoidance, where people actively try to suppress or distract themselves from their anxious thoughts and feelings, which can ultimately maintain and worsen anxiety symptoms over time.
A 2021 study explored the role of mindfulness and acceptance-based therapies to help individuals learn to observe and acknowledge their anxiety without trying to fight it off.
3. Do a silly orangutan dance
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You just disidentified with your anxiety. You didn’t think we’d move on without a celebration, did you?
You need to drop what you’re doing right now and perform silly moves in a private place. Dance like a carefree primate with a lust for life.
No one needs to see you. This is for you. Feel free to return here whenever you need a boost, and you feel stress coming on. Get loose physically and have fun. That’s 82% of the solution right there.
4. Take three long breaths
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We can inadvertently fuel the flames of anxiety by breathing too fast or not at all. Slowing your breath is your portal to relief any time you need it. It’s a beautiful tool for slowing yourself physically, which will directly calm the mind too.
Take three long and shallow breaths through your nose down into your belly button right now. You will feel yourself calming down quickly and in real time.
Controlled breathing techniques, particularly diaphragmatic breathing, can effectively manage anxiety by directly impacting the nervous system.
A 2023 study showed significant reductions in self-reported anxiety levels after practicing breathing exercises, even in short interventions. This is attributed to deep breathing's ability to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and counteracting the fight-or-flight response triggered by anxiety.
5. Decide to pursue excellence
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You’ve put aside your anxiety and opened up space for other things. You certainly don’t want to fill that time with more Netflix-binging or doom-scrolling.
You must dedicate your new life to excellence. Nothing soothes anxiety more than dropping your little whiny attitude and embodying what true success is for you. Write down three enlivening goals for the end of this year.
What’s the relationship or job you want? What’s your ideal day? What kind of person do you need to become to live an incredible life? Go there. Design it. Become that person today.
When approached with a healthy mindset and realistic goals, striving for success can help manage anxiety by providing a sense of purpose, control, and accomplishment. This can counteract feelings of uncertainty and fear.
However, a 2022 study cautioned that the key is to avoid perfectionism, as excessive pressure to achieve flawlessness can exacerbate anxiety levels.
6. Do an energy audit
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One of the things I do with all my clients is to have them draw up two simple columns:
1. Things that drain my energy
2. things that boost my energy
Fill it out with everything you can think of. An energized body is going to experience the least anxiety physically. So bring awareness to where your energy is going.
Number the items in the list according to the level of impact. Identify your number one consistent energy drain, and decide to eradicate it from your life today. One thing to start. Go.
According to a 2021 study, managing energy when experiencing anxiety primarily involves techniques to mitigate the physiological arousal caused by anxiety.
These techniques, often through mindfulness practices like deep breathing, meditation, and relaxation techniques, can help regulate the body's fight-or-flight response, thereby conserving energy and promoting a calmer state.
Additionally, identifying triggers and utilizing coping mechanisms like cognitive restructuring can also play a crucial role in managing energy levels impacted by anxiety.
7. Become the ‘Pied Piper of Joy’
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Anxiety is rife in those who see themselves as victims. You’re different.
Your new life is now dedicated to leadership — specifically leading others towards joy. There’s a magic to turning your attention away from yourself (self-conscious) and redirecting it towards other people (leadership).
Your new objective is to help other people realize calm and joy. You can do it as a coach, a parent, a creator, a teacher, or simply by soothing others when you meet them.
Your job is to make others feel good; to awaken them from numbness; to make them smile. This will bring you calm like little else. And it is from here that we finally get the chance to experience your brilliance.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.