5 Simple Ways ADHD People Can Stop Feeling So Annoyed With Everyone
Your cheat codes for managing strong emotions.
Nataliya Vaitkevich | Pexels APA research shows that about 60-70% of individuals with ADHD struggle with emotional dysregulation, whether it’s feeling overwhelmed by small setbacks or experiencing strong moods. Dysregulation leads someone to feel disconnected to themselves, their current situation, and any people nearby. Many report that it's easy to feel annoyed with everyone and everything around you.
For many folks, the amygdala hijack happens so quickly they aren’t fully aware it’s occurring until afterward. This is frightening for you and the people around you. It can negatively impact your relationships, work or school performance, and general life satisfaction.
To begin the process of responding instead of reacting, you’ll need to identify what triggers you, how something bothers you, and what you can do to avoid intense outbursts. You’ll feel calmer (and better about yourself too) when you can reliably use practical, simple exercises to restore emotional and physiological balance in the heat of “those” moments.
Here are 5 simple ways ADHD people can stop feeling so annoyed with everyone:
1. Try these grounding exercises as an emotional anchor
When you feel untethered by strong emotions, grounding exercises assist you in reconnecting to the present and slowing things down. Think of grounding as your emotional anchor when the storm of big feelings hits. Grounding brings you back to what’s happening around you and to the quiet place within you. Popular Grounding Techniques Include:
5-4-3-2-1 Exercise - This one is perfect when anxiety or frustration feels like it’s taking over. Pause for a moment to notice and name the following:
- 5 things you can see (look around the room)
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste (a mint, a sip of water—whatever works)
Go shoeless: Take off your shoes and your socks. Feel your feet on the ground. Balance on one foot and then the other. Do this five times.
Swing your torso: Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. Swing your arms in unison from one side to the other, twisting your body as you do this. Do this five times.
2. Practice breathing exercises to slow you down
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It sounds simple and perhaps overused, but mindful breathing works because it slows you down. I’ve created the triangle method of breathing to help my clients with ADHD when they find themselves becoming dysregulated.
- Inhale for 4 seconds
- Hold the breath for 4 seconds
- Exhale slowly for 6 seconds
- Pause at empty
Research in Breathe Journal showed that diaphragmatic breathing like this activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm the body and reduce emotional reactivity.
3. Use these physical exercises to muscle through with movement
Movement can help some people physically ground themselves and break the cycle of emotional dysregulation. Whether it’s standing up and sitting back down for a set of 5, stretching in your chair, taking a walk or clenching and releasing your fists or other parts of your body, by engaging your body, you bring your focus back to the present. This adaptation from The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook engages your body and brings focus back to the present.
The magic in these techniques lies in their repetition and self-compassion. We aren’t aiming for perfection here. You will not transform suddenly into the ideal easygoing avatar you desire. But, when practiced regularly, grounding exercises train the brain to shift from knee-jerk reactions laden with emotional intensity to more balanced, thoughtful responses.
4. Emotional pause buttons
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Impulsive emotional reactions can often be the result of not pausing before responding. But taking that pause is oh-so-hard when emotions run hot. Use S.T.A.R., which means Stop, Think, Act, Recover,” method when somebody (including yourself) is getting triggered.
First, discuss in advance the physical signs of upset–tightness in chest, a headache, loud voices, tears. Then decide what your plan will be when they show up and how you will take that PAUSE. Using the S.T.A.R. method can be a game-changer for you and your family.
5. Call a lifeline and use your support network
Having a reliable support system makes all the difference. You don’t have to handle everything by yourself and, sometimes, we all need a lifeline to call. I have reached out many times to close friends or family members in times of distress or dysregulation.
Take a minute and write down the names of at least two people you can contact when the going gets tough. For many people with ADHD, there’s so much shame about being dysregulated in the first place that it can be tough to ask for help. Remember, everybody, and I mean everybody, loses it sometimes.
For parents and adults with ADHD, connecting with a therapist or a coach can offer ongoing support, insight, and understanding about the causes and responses to intense feelings and disruption. One study from the Journal of the American Medical Association found that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) tailored for ADHD is especially effective in helping manage emotional dysregulation. The road to emotional balance is paved with self-compassion. It’s about acknowledging that emotions will come and go, but with the right tools, we can navigate them with more confidence and less chaos.
Sharon Saline, Psy.D., is an international lecturer and workshop facilitator. She has focused her work on ADHD, anxiety, learning differences, and mental health challenges and their impact on the school and family dynamics for more than 30 years.