12 Unspoken Social Rules High Value Women Always Follow
Women who are high value (and know it) lead their lives with these principles in mind.
JLco Julia Amaral | Shutterstock.com The true nature of confident, classy, and intelligent women is exemplified by those who lead their lives with self-advocacy, self-awareness, accountability, and compassion. Not only do these high value women leverage their intuition to make healthier, more fulfilling connections, they also prioritize themselves, their needs, and their personal boundaries to shape a life that they love and enjoy. Because of this, there are some unspoken rules high value women always follow.
Keeping themselves in check this way not only set them up for success, but helps them build a better sense of self-worth and awareness. By living with these principles in mind, they ensure they’re always in the present moment, connecting, loving, and embracing themselves and others without bowing to external pressure or anxiety.
Here are the 12 unspoken social rules high value women always follow
1. Show up on time
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Despite studies, like one conducted by Madison Vander Wielen at Lindenwood University, that have found that people who typically show up to their commitments late are more optimistic and generally less stressed, there’s power in showing up when you're supposed to and respecting other people’s time.
While unpunctual people may hold themselves to a lower standard, unaffected by the stress of showing up on time and keeping their commitments, high value women are committed to respecting others by being punctual in the same way they’d expect others to show up for them.
Even in today’s world, riddled by last-minute cancellations and tardiness, the unspoken social rules high value women always follow remind us that there are still people who prioritize others and organize their time in a way that keeps their relationships healthy and their connections well nourished.
2. Be kind to everyone
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While many high value women who lead with compassion and empathy in their lives do so to promote the health and well-being of their relationships and emotional states, research suggests that daily acts of kindness can promote better physical health outcomes as well.
Whether it’s a subtle act of service for their partner, a smile to the stranger at a grocery store, or a selfless act of kindness to a co-worker, high value women are willing to sacrifice bits of time and energy from their day to help other people feel celebrated, appreciated, and loved.
Of course, kindness and basic empathy aren’t only some of the unspoken social rules high value women always follow, they’re principles everyone should commit to in their lives. Not only can this help to safeguard your personal health, it sets you up for more fulfilling social interactions and the potential for more secure, loving, and healthy long-term relationships.
3. Say ‘thank you’ often
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Just like anyone else, high value women deal with daily struggles and anxiety in their lives, but it’s their coping mechanisms, mindsets, and general attitudes that set them apart from the average person. Even something as simple as saying “thank you” more often and expressing gratitude in their lives helps to set them up for success.
As research has shown, leading with gratitude — even in passing moments of kindness — ensures you’re better equipped to deal with adversity and promotes better levels of happiness and satisfaction in your life.
High value women aren’t afraid to use energy thanking others, even in small moments, not only because they know it will feed into their own happiness, but also because it empowers and celebrates others.
4. Actively listen in conversations and wait your turn
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In addition to leveraging engaged and open body language to help other people feel heard in conversations — the most important aspect of healthy communicators, according to a study published in PLoS One — one of the unspoken social rules high value women always follow is actively listening to others. From maintaining eye contact, to avoiding interruptions, and reassuring peers with welcoming nonverbal gestures, high value women make it a point to be authentic and genuine in all their interactions.
Of course, this active listening and engagement sets them up for healthy social connections and all the mental and emotional benefits associated with them, but these conversations can also pave the way for their healthy, fulfilling, and happy long-term relationships.
If you’re willing to engage and spend energy genuinely listening to a stranger at the store, consider the ways your communication will flourish in a marriage or long-term friendship when you spend the same energy — if not more — committed to learning, growing, and communicating with them.
5. Don’t look at your phone when you’re hanging out with others
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While there are a million different active listening strategies that help to leverage healthy conversations into fulfilling relationships, there are subtle behaviors that can quickly sabotage a healthy connection — like glancing at your phone or getting distracted by your surroundings when you're speaking with someone.
Not only do harmful and distracting behaviors like this ensure the person you’re speaking with feels dismissed and unheard, they sabotage your ability to be present in conversations.
If you’re always relying on your phone as a crutch to soothe social anxiety in public, you’ll never practice the art of active listening or the self-soothing that’s necessary to build up better social skills. High value women make it a rule to avoid doing this altogether.
6. Support other women, especially in male-dominated spaces
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While it might seem subtle in an already chaotic workplace, consider the ways supporting and celebrating a female peer could encourage them to succeed in their role and find comfort in a male-dominated space. Basic connection and camaraderie are more impactful and important than you may think, and supporting other women is one of the unspoken social rules high value women always follow, because they know doing so empowers not only others, but also themselves.
Just like in any other conversation or interaction, women are more likely to feel comfortable and secure in an environment where they feel heard and valued on a daily basis. Prioritizing this unspoken social rule — uplifting other women and making them feel heard — not only helps to overcome toxic male dominance in traditional environments, but encourages other women to succeed, push themselves out of their comfort zone, and pay. it forward later.
7. You don’t need to explain every choice you make
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While insecure women or people with lacking self-esteem may rely on external validation and encouragement to inform their choices and decisions, high-value women look inward when crafting their lives.
Personal growth coach Annecha J. S. argues that these high value women with secure identities tend to live more interesting and fulfilling lives — channeling introspection, authenticity, and authenticity to build their unique lives and identities.
From setting boundaries to making wise life decisions and prioritizing relationships, they connect with themselves to figure out what’s best for them rather than seeking someone else’s opinion and feeling pressured to constantly explain themselves.
8. Let relationships unfold naturally
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“Love bombing,” otherwise known as the tendency for a potential partner to shower you with praise, affection, and love in the early stages of a relationship, is a huge red flag, especially in intimate relationships. Intended to help a partner move quickly into commitment while establishing a false sense of control, this behavior can be tricky to recognize and call out.
While certain insecure, lonely, or externally validated women may fall victim to love bombing, quickly realizing that they’re not getting the same attention and validation in the later stages of their relationship like they did at the beginning, high value women prioritize the natural flow of their relationships.
Already intrinsically validated, with a strong sense of self-worth and confidence, high value women aren’t drawn to love bombing behaviors — they prefer communication and authentic connection over misguided praise and false proclamations of commitment.
9. Don’t gossip or spread rumors
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Many studies, including one published in the Academy of Management Review, suggest that gossip is the perfect way to erode trust in your relationships, whether they’re platonic, intimate, or professional. Often used by insecure people to establish a false sense of power or superiority, spreading rumors isn’t a healthy way to feed your ego. In fact, it tends to sabotage social interactions much faster than they were built.
High value women acknowledge the toxicity behind gossipy behavior and tend to avoid conversations or people who spread rumors often. They don’t have a problem asserting their boundaries, even if that means excusing themselves from a conversation that they don’t feel is healthy or productive in their life.
10. Give advice only when you’re asked for it
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Especially in conversations where someone is simply looking to vent or feel supported in their emotions, unsolicited advice can elicit feelings of shame and judgment, according to psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen.
The last thing anyone wants to hear when they’re venting is how they can make all their emotions and experiences disappear — especially someone who’s self-aware enough to understand the power of self-reflection, like a high value woman. Instead of offering it without asking, one of the unspoken social rules high value women always follow is waiting for someone to urge them to add advice before they contribute it to a conversation.
Not only does it feel dismissive and invalidating to have someone trying to “solve” your emotional struggles when you’re simply hoping to feel supported, it can often sabotage a healthy relationship when one person is consistently dismissive in this way.
11. It’s okay to walk away from unproductive conversations and relationships
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Despite the societal expectations toxically placed upon women — urging them to people-please to support other people’s comfort — high value women have no problem prioritizing themselves. When they don’t feel like a conversation is productive for them or is actively violating their boundaries, they’ll excuse themselves.
In the same way, they’re self-aware enough to recognize when a toxic relationship or situation has gone too far, and they’re willing to walk away to prioritize themselves.
12. Don’t overshare about your aspirations before they happen
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One of the unspoken social rules high value women always follow is keeping their goals, dreams, and aspirations mostly to themselves. While it can be healthy to talk about the future and be motivated by encouragement from loved ones, research suggests that sharing prematurely about your goals can actually hinder your ability to realize them.
Research has shown that speaking about your aspirations before achieving them often offers up a sense of premature pride — the same feeling that tends to motivate us in achieving our goals. So not only do people boasting about their future achievements and over-emphasizing their aspirations in conversation frequently annoy others, they also put themselves at a major disadvantage compared to those who move silently and let their actions speak for themselves.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.