38 Unconventional Cheat Codes That Give You An Unfair Advantage In Life
Life success tips I wish I knew when I was younger to give me incredible momentum.
cottonbro studio | Canva In their book, Lerner and Schlechter, the professors behind NYU’s “Science of Happiness” course, identified five factors that help people thrive: positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and achievement. They highlight many studies suggesting why these factors, such as optimism and goal setting, are crucial to our well-being. The authors cite research suggesting that optimists receive more social support, cope better with stressors, and stay healthier, among other benefits. However, optimism is not always good: Pessimists focus on what might go wrong and are sometimes more prepared when things go wrong.
I was a digital illustrator in my twenties and a business coach in my thirties. I’ve built a readership of over 200,000, make enough money from my own business to live well, and my investments are solid. I haven’t had a real job since age 23, and I’ve worked for my own company since then. My path is obviously not for everyone, and I have my stumbles and frustrations, but I’ve also never been happier, contrary to what many assume would be true for a single 40-year-old.
Here are 38 unconventional cheat codes that give you an unfair advantage in life:
1. Understand that life is a dream
You get to live that dream today. Our minds project our reality via thought onto the screen of consciousness. Seeing this makes it far easier to stop taking everything so seriously.
2. Have remarkable objectives
Have remarkable objectives that not only create superior results but stir up remarkable effort. Goals are good for planning your progress, and systems are suitable for making progress. Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short term, but eventually, a well-designed system will always win. Having a system matters, but committing to the process makes the difference.
3. Learn to distinguish between your instinctual voice and your critical voice
The latter is trying to protect you, often sabotaging you; the former is showing you the way.
4. Be kind, but don’t be nice
Nice is often forced. The world and your tribe need you to be authentic and honest. This doesn’t always mean being ‘nice.’
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5. Play it cool and calm when things don’t go your way
Never react in anger. Nurture calm like it’s your highest purpose. Reactive people are continually teetering on the edge of destroying their lives.
6. Don’t expect anyone to make the first move
Never wait. Go out and create what you want, even if it feels a little icky.
7. Every one of your current ‘problems’ is an opportunity
This happens when you find the gift hidden inside.
8. The best way to gain respect (from others and yourself) is to never take things personally
Learn to breathe through it. It’s a practice.
9. Maintain at least a small network of friendships
People rarely reach out, so you need to put in the work. Take responsibility for creating and maintaining your little tribe. This alone feels good.
10. If you feel sad or a bit overwhelmed, stand up straight and go and get what’s yours
Stand up tall. Own your choices. Take action, and don’t stop. You ‘find yourself’ by challenging yourself through doing things that aren’t always easy.
11. Do one thing at a time with full enjoyment
Productivity doesn’t have to be some heavy ‘discipline’ that takes effort. All you need to do is figure out the next small step and find a way to enjoy it. You bring enjoyment. You can choose to be silly. You’ll never outwork someone who’s enjoying themselves.
12. Stop caring so much about what others think
Unless you learn to let go of the false belief that other people are a threat to your self-esteem, you'll never move forward. When we believe that we gain from external validation, our joy is now at the mercy of others. We’re a victim. One of the most empowering steps you can take is to see that the world doesn’t end when you stop molding your behaviors to please others. Everything gets better.
13. Your need for external validation is your greatest source of misery right now
The way out? Realize you don’t need validation from anyone to be happy. Why? Because you are already happy by default.
14. ‘Self-esteem’ is an illusion
Thinking it’s a real thing restricts your natural confidence.
15. Learn to write well
It’s the best thing I did for my self-confidence.
16. It’s okay to upset someone else to get what you want if this ultimately means everyone wins
Without a happy you, the world can’t enjoy the fruits of what you bring.
17. The people who make you jealous are also going through things you’d never want to experience
Many of us suffer tremendously because we allow others to disrupt our emotional balance. We get jealous. We feel triggered. We get offended. Our loss. We can’t truly respect ourselves if someone is living in our heads rent-free.
18. Short walks will make you 47% happier
Long walks will make you 84% happier.
19. Don’t take money too seriously
The moment you see it as a game, it becomes fun. Learn to love money. It’s just a tool. It isn’t ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ Money made through enjoyment comes easier.
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20. If you’re struggling to decide, don’t stall
Experiment. Test the water first. Always. Never jump in head first if you can test it first.
21. Don't follow people down a path of misunderstanding
Most people are hopelessly clueless about what works and what does not. Question everything.
22. Society is molding you to be weak, sad, and docile
It’s inherent to society because it keeps society manageable. Everything you do should be an act of determined defiance against what society expects of you.
23. Stop requiring everything to be ‘right’ to proceed
Advance into the chaos.
24. Listen carefully to your emotions
Your emotions are powerful indicators — not of the state of the world, but the state of your thoughts. If you feel bad, return to the present moment. There’s no judgment here.
25. Life slows when you slow your breathing
There is a close link between breath and the rate at which we cycle through new thoughts. Anxiety reflects an overly active mind. As such, slowing down our breathing can slow down our thoughts and reduce what feels like anxiety.
26. You won the moment you were born
Stop living like you've already lost. Play all out. You have nothing to lose.
27. When you feel overwhelmed, double your activity
This will get you out of your head while getting twice as much done. Double-win.
28. Forgive your parents and your family
Everyone was doing the best they knew to do at the time, given the state of their thoughts. Mental resilience starts with forgiveness in the home.
29. The secret to productivity and joy is to find a way to enjoy whatever you do, no matter how mundane
You can’t outwork someone who’s enjoying themselves.
30. To reduce anxiety, accept that it is there
Watch it like it is separate from you. Only then will it fade into the background.
31. Ask yourself every day, ‘What would I love to create today?’
Then, live your life following your creative desires (your get-tos — not your have-tos).
32. If you feel like an outsider, rejoice
Not one person who accomplished anything of worth in the history of man felt like they belonged.
33. Fear is an indicator not of what to avoid, but of what you care for deeply
Knowing this, maybe you should move in that direction after all.
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34. Make rejection or judgment an amusement rather than a fear
But it becomes a source of amusement when you realize that only insecure people feel the need to judge you harshly. If I get rejected, I try to see this as an opportunity to find the opportunity in the perceived ‘problem.’
35. In the face of perceived setbacks, ask yourself one question
Unhappy people ask, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ Happy people ask, ‘How can I use this?’
36. Self-love is not something to ‘work on’
I realized I had all the joy and self-love I needed by becoming aware. Try it now. Sit in full awareness for a while. Feel the self-love rippling in you. It’s there without effort.
37. Your happiness should never be dependent on the weather
Happy people are happy whether it’s raining or shining.
38. You will be perpetually miserable if you expect others to always treat you right
Forget yourself and turn your focus on making others happy. You’ll get so much more satisfaction that way. Too many of us are lost, waiting for approval, love, and respect. Forget that. Go out and give it. When you do, you may just find love coming your way anyway.
In his research, Seymour Epstein, a University of Massachusetts psychology professor and co-author of You’re Smarter Than You Think, found that it was what he called “experiential intelligence” — common sense, social skills, the handling of emotions, and ability to solve problems—that heavily determined one’s level of success. “Success in life has a lot more to do with your experiential mind, or your practical intelligence, than your intellect,” Epstein said in 1993, believing that how one managed the usual trials and tribulations of life was a better predictor of success than how smart one happened to be.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.