5 Desperate Habits Of Women Who Have No Life Partner To Emotionally Lean On, Says Psychology
Having a man doesn't mean anything if he can't emotionally support you.
Priscila Zovia | Unsplash One of the most dangerous fears that swirl around in the minds of many women is the fear of being man-less. The phobia of being alone and detached keeps them stocked with either an endless supply of disposable men or the same ol’ dud who has proven himself unworthy year after year after year.
Either way, not the most glimmering examples of upstanding manliness, but they fit the bill out of necessity because they’ve got the biological qualifications and physical accouterments to boot. With no chance to go into the next relationship refreshed and renewed because there’s they don’t give themselves time to heal, compulsive man-seekers sacrifice a lot for the sake of having a warm body or a new beau by their sides.
The trouble is, most of these women don’t recognize their addiction to that new boo euphoria or the reliance on having a man at their disposal. And so it goes on unchecked for ages, all the while chipping at their self-worth and sometimes, their health and safety.
Here are 5 desperate habits of women who have no life partner to emotionally lean on, says psychology:
1. They constantly defend him from their family and friends (or don't tell them the whole truth about your situation)
Sometimes you don’t pick up on valid points about your love life because you’re too busy living it. But when your loved ones present things they’ve noticed about your man, you dismiss the cold, hard facts because you don’t want to have undeniable justification to cut your dude loose and end up single.
Better to make your inner circle feel like they’re crazy than accept that your guy may not be the good thing you’ve worked exceedingly hard to make him out to be. And on top of that, you're lying to the people you care about, which can be detrimental to your relationship with them, research from the University of Virginia shows.
2. They regularly let his inconsideration and indiscretions slide
SynthEx / Shutterstock
He cusses at your kids, he rolls his eyes at your mama, and he breaks promises to you with a systematic regularity. You, in turn, apologize for problems you didn’t create or shoulder responsibility for issues that aren’t yours. He gets away with it all because he knows, just like you know, that you are too afraid to rock the boat and risk his leaving than to cut his fool tail loose and hand him his walking papers in a handbasket.
Research on attachment anxiety shows that fear of abandonment can override self-protective instincts, leading people to accept increasingly unacceptable behavior rather than enforce boundaries. This dynamic creates a toxic cycle where the more disrespect they tolerate, the more emboldened their partner becomes because they know there won't be consequences.
3. They always make excuses for him
I’ve known women getting beaten down by their men regularly and others who’ve been molly-whopped by rants and raves about their worthlessness. But they still find a reason to defend their men’s honor, not only because they’re conditioned to put them on pedestals but because they’re so scared of them leaving, they’d rather pardon the behavior than confront the obvious fact that they’re not worth the emotional and mental investment. Just to have a man.
This defensive stance isn't really about protecting his reputation, either, it's about protecting herself from the terrifying possibility of being alone. The mental gymnastics required to maintain this narrative are exhausting, but they feel less threatening than confronting the void she believes awaits her without him, one study explained.
4. They haven't been single longer than a week in your whole adult life
Some relationship experts say it takes two years to bounce back in whole from a previous relationship, maybe longer depending on the circumstances and the emotional condition of the folks doing the bouncing back, while one study put the benchmark around three months.
Without that breathing room, unresolved issues from previous relationships get carried forward, accumulating over time and creating increasingly dysfunctional patterns. The person never learns who they are outside of being someone's partner, never develops independent coping mechanisms, and never addresses the core wounds that drive their desperate need for constant romantic validation.
5. They reason, 'It’s better than being alone'
fizkes / Shutterstock
He’s cheated, and he’s lazy, but he’s also breathing and wields a pretty mean game, so you opt to make it work with him instead of running the risk of staying drenched in singleness. Please take single over settling any time. Even research from The Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin agrees it's better to be alone sometimes.
The temporary discomfort of being alone pales in comparison to the long-term damage of settling for someone who diminishes rather than enriches your life. However, when you're desperately afraid of solitude, even toxic companionship can feel like a lifeline worth grasping.
Janelle Harris is a writer and editor who focuses on relationships and love.
