20 Sentences That Maximize Your Social Intelligence So You Actually Connect With People You Care About
The secret to cultivating healthy relationships and connections starts with you.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock If you’re struggling to connect with others or foster healthy relationships, it might be time to look inward.
According to personal growth coach, liveyourimpossible, our social intelligence is integral to fostering these relationships, so when you have a better understanding of the best way to interact with loved ones, your connections will flourish.
Here are 20 sentences that can help you maximize your social intelligence so you can better connect with others:
1. 'To solve an issue quickly, be soft on the person and hard on the problem.'
Connections are collaborative, but they can be quickly sabotaged when people don’t feel genuinely loved and supported. Even in the most difficult situations and conflicts, being in a partnership means you attack problems together.
The more willing you are to set your ego aside to support others, the more often that energy will flow back into your life with new connections, friendships, and relationships.
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2. 'Pretend everyone was sent to teach you something.'
Sometimes, meeting new people and building new relationships can be equally exciting and overwhelming. However, people with great social intelligence often have a different perspective on relationships and connections.
Each time you connect with someone, whether it’s a pleasant experience or not, remind yourself that you can learn something from them. You don’t have to build a long-lasting relationship with each person you interact with, but you might be able to take away some insights that make your other connections stronger.
3. If you pause while speaking and maintain eye contact, that exudes confidence.
Research has shown that slowing down your speech and maintaining eye contact can help cultivate a sense of calm confidence in people — and it’s a tactic that many people use in their daily lives.
4. 'Make people feel important with the seen, heard, and remembered method.'
Helping other people feel confident, heard, and remembered is the key to both a bountiful conversation and a healthy relationship. The more grace, kindness, and empathy we share with others, the more involved and invested they’ll be in doing the same for you.
5. 'A person’s favorite sound is their name, so remember it.'
Famously attributed to Dale Carnegie, the quote, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language," has become a mantra for networking and communication experts.
Evoking that kind of response in someone doesn’t need to be tricky, but it can be powerful — so remember people’s names. Whether it’s a friend of a friend or a co-worker, greeting someone with their name when you see them again truly does make all the difference.
6. ‘Praise publicly, criticize privately’ — Warren Buffet.
If you complain or criticize yourself with new people, you’re painting a picture for them about who you are and how you deserve to be treated. The same goes for other people. Being overly critical or insulting toward others makes a negative first impression.
7. Make people aware that you’re supporting them before giving feedback.
Sometimes, whether you’re self-aware or not, it can be difficult to absorb feedback from peers without immediately assuming it comes from a negative space. When you’re sharing feedback, whether in an intimate relationship or a workplace conversation, make sure you remind your partner that you’re on their side.
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8. ‘Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments’ — Neil Strauss.
If you don’t tell someone that you expect them to do the dishes, finish a project, or pick you up, how can you be mad when they fail to do so? In some relationships, assuming this kind of behavior might make sense, but there’s nothing wrong with “too much” communication.
Resentment builds, and relationships crumble because of a lack of communication, so don’t be afraid to say what you want.
9. 'The best networking strategy is a helping others first strategy.'
Social intelligence is partly about yourself and partly about how you understand others. If you’re constantly ignoring other people in an effort to work on yourself, chances are you’re going to struggle to build the kind of identity you hope to share with the world.
Helping other people grow is part of the process and incredibly rewarding if you take a step back to appreciate it.
10. 'Loneliness is a silent pandemic; assume people want to meet you.'
Statistics indicate that over half of all Americans in the United States report being lonely in their daily lives. So, regardless of how many social media posts you see of laughing couples and glamorous vacations, chances are you’re not the only person feeling alone, isolated, and lonely.
Make an effort to remind yourself that “it’s not just you” when you’re navigating daily life. You might just be more motivated to compliment a stranger, ask someone on a date, or reach out to that old friend, especially if you knew they were also struggling with connection and community.
11. 'Practice going first. Example: Hi, I’m Ahmed.’
Practice “going first” in conversations to build your social intelligence. It might feel uncomfortable to meet new people or put yourself out of your comfort zone — especially if you’re an introvert — but in the end, you’re fostering connection for more than just yourself.
The more willing you are to open up conversations, the more practice you have at cultivating insightful conversations. Even if the other person isn’t as invested in the conversation as you might be, you’re opening up the door to positive energy every time you step out of your home and into a new environment.
12. 'Build the habit of responding with Yes, and, because it advances their idea.'
Even if you’re putting yourself in new situations to build social intelligence — whether it’s speed dating events, a Bumble BFF date, or going to a bar by yourself — chances are you’re going to have some uncomfortable conversations.
Using the “yes, and” approach helps alleviate some of that discomfort. Ask people about themselves and poke and prod into their answers. People love to talk about themselves, and those who are active listeners and genuinely interested will be the friends, co-workers, and partners others want to keep around.
13. 'Avoid complaining or gossiping (nobody likes to hear it).'
Unless you're at home with a close friend or indulging in a much-needed venting session, there’s no reason to bring unnecessary drama to a conversation.
Sometimes, people even build entire relationships based on spreading gossip. Set a better tone for relationships so that when you do need to complain, it’s worth sharing and discussing.
14. 'Storytelling is a superpower.'
Be an active listener, empathize with other people’s stories, and reference things your conversation partner has already said — that’s the key to storytelling in discussions.
Storytelling can be learned, so don’t be afraid to willingly get vulnerable in certain situations.
15. 'Every dog has its day because dogs are friendly (there’s a lesson there).'
Everyone has a chance at happiness and luck at different points in their life — simply because they’re here. Most things happen for a reason, but some things just happen out of pure chance. Be kind, compassionate, and genuinely interested in connecting with others — good karma is powerful.
If you’re kind to yourself and give grace to others, your social intelligence is already much better than that of most people. Kindness is powerful, not just in passing conversations but also in building long-term healthy connections.
16. ‘The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life’ — Esther Perel.
The people that fill your inner circle are a reflection of yourself. If you’re constantly complaining and gossiping with others, that negative energy will seep into your life.
If you’re not willing to cultivate a healthy circle of close friends and family, you’re self-sabotaging the potential of your life. You're only a reflection of the people that surround you. Meet and grow relationships with people who both genuinely love and challenge you to be better.
17. 'To discover blind spots, build an inner circle that will give you honest feedback.'
Cultivate relationships that push you to dream big, support you through uncomfortable growth, and celebrate your successes — that’s how you build social intelligence and a better sense of self-awareness.
18. 'Normalize I don’t know anything about that, yet, as a successful answer.
In a culture that seems to thrive on competition, it can be difficult to admit that you’re not an expert on something. Whether it’s great recipes, the latest and greatest sports team, or the state of a historical overseas conflict — in most cases, it’s okay if you don’t know something, but it can feel shameful to admit it.
Being confident enough to admit that you don’t know something, or even anything, about a subject is empowering. You’re opening up space to learn and connect with others.
19. 'Record and study your speaking like an athlete watching their film.'
Invest in a dream journal. Start a new notes app where you collect great connections, conversations, or one-liners from debates with your friends. The better you can understand the way you speak and convey ideas, the higher your social intelligence.
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20. ‘Great leaders create more leaders, not followers’ — Roy T. Bennett.
Whether it’s in the workplace or raising your children, sometimes being in a position of leadership can be overwhelming.
The best kinds of people lead others by helping them grow. They’re not insecurely trying to support a sense of superiority or power by bringing other people down.
At the end of the day, the people who have great social intelligence know themselves well and respond to the world around them with kindness, compassion, and love rather than greed, insecurity, and resentment.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.