9 Common Traits Of People Who Would Rather Be Alone Than Have Fake Friends
Their own emotional well-being is more important than being popular.
Andrii Nekrasov | Shutterstock Being connected to other people is one of the most important aspects of life, but the quality of those connections often matters more than the quantity. It's possible to have a large group of friends but still feel lonely, because the strength of your connection to those friends is lacking.
In contrast, people who would rather be alone than have fake friends value genuine connection and authenticity. They might only have a few friends, but those friends have their back, unlike fake friends, who tend to ditch people when someone cooler comes along.
Here are 9 common traits of people who would rather be alone than have fake friends
1. They enjoy their own company
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People who would rather be alone than have fake friends don't mind being alone; in fact, they often welcome it.
They might turn down invitations to go out just to spend time by themselves. They have a solid sense of self-reliance, which means that they don't need external validation or outside entertainment. They genuinely like being on their own, and they choose solitude over insincere friendships any day.
Someone who'd rather be alone than have fake friends knows how to make the most of their "me time." They commit to having hobbies that nourish their spirit, and they fully understand the value of self-care. They know that self-care means more than just bubble baths and face masks, as nice as those things are.
As intuitive coach Ronnie Ann Ryan revealed, "The end goal of self-care is to show yourself love... When you take time just for yourself, you are demonstrating self-love." True-self care is about finding happiness in who you are, which is exactly what people do when they spend time alone rather than with fake friends.
2. They're not superficial
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People who would rather be alone than have fake friends place major emphasis on finding friends that they connect to on a soul level. They avoid any hint of superficiality, which means they seek out relationships built on depth. They don't want to talk about the weather or hear the latest gossip on the PTA moms at their kid's school. They want friends who dive deep, rather than stay on the surface level.
According to psychiatrist Dr. Murray Bowen, having a "person to person relationship" is an important avenue for growth. These relationships are based on having an intimate emotional connection where you can talk about your beliefs and life experiences, instead of focusing the conversation on impersonal topics or other people you know.
Someone who would rather be alone than have fake friends wants to hear about your deepest fears, your biggest dreams, all the things that make you who you are. They don't have any interest in being superficial, which is why they'd choose solitude over having fake friends.
3. They're highly empathetic
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People who would rather be alone than have fake friends have a strong sense of empathy. They're highly attuned to their own emotions and other people's emotions, which means they sense when someone is being insincere.
Clinical social worker Lyssa deHart defined empathy as "the ability to feel compassion for others in relation to their own experiences." She noted that having empathy "allows you access to the other person's emotional landscape."
She emphasized that empathy is a necessary component to holding onto any kind of relationship, explaining that "Valuing the people around you is important to maintaining your support system, as relationships don't generally work out when they're one-sided."
Highly empathetic people know when their friends are faking loyalty and compassion, which is why they'd rather be alone than concern themselves with people who don't actually care about them.
4. They're self-aware
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Another trait of people who would rather be alone than have fake friends is that they're very self-aware. Simply put, they know themselves, which makes fake friendships feel intolerable.
They have a deep understanding of what's important to them and they build friendships around those values. They know what makes them feel good, and they don't waste time or energy on fake friends who put them down and make them feel inferior.
Their self-awareness is rooted in having a positive sense of self-worth. They're not starving for attention and they won't settle for crumbs. They believe they're worthy of true love and care, which is why they'd rather be alone than have fake friends.
5. They respect themselves
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People who would rather be alone than have friends have a strong sense of self-respect. They don't let other people treat them poorly just because those people pretend to be their friends.
Someone with a lack of self-respect devotes their energy to people who don't actually make them feel fulfilled, but someone who respects themselves knows that there's no point to stay in a relationship if it doesn't lift you up and nourish you.
Their deep and abiding self-respect means they hold their friends to high standards – not in a pretentious way, but in a way that's centered on mutual trust and care. They are loyal and loving to their true friends, but they'd choose to be alone rather than spend time with any fake friends.
6. They have high emotional intelligence
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Having high emotional intelligence is another common trait of people who would rather be alone than have fake, superficial friends.
They're able to recognize and express how they feel, which gives them the social skills they need to connect with others. They tend to steer clear of befriending people with low levels of emotional intelligence, because they value deep connections over shallow friendships.
Psychologist Nick Wignall explained that having high emotional intelligence requires people to let go of their unrealistic expectations, especially when those expectations are focused on other people.
"Unrealistic expectations are a misguided attempt to control other people," he revealed. Wignall advised people to "Let go of your expectations. Stop creating stories about what you want for other people. And instead, just be present for the person they are... Meet them where they are instead of where you want them to be."
A person who would rather be alone than have fake friends knows they can't force those fake friends to be anything but themselves. They don't place expectations on fake friends to provide the deeper connection they crave, so they would rather be alone.
7. They set strong boundaries
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People who would rather be alone than have fake friends set clear boundaries that they actually enforce. According to Wignall, having healthy boundaries goes beyond just stating what your boundaries are; it also involves holding people accountable when they ignore the personal limits you've established.
As Wignall explained, failing to enforce boundaries just teaches people not to respect them. "It's essential to be clear when you set your boundaries, and consistent in your enforcement of them, it's really helpful if you reward people for respecting them," he noted.
Fake friends are often the exact people who cross boundaries or ignore how someone wants to be treated, which is why people who would rather be alone than have fake friends don't hesitate to cut people off if their boundaries are disrespected.
8. They're introspective
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Being self-reflective is a trait of people who don't want fake friends and would rather be alone.
They're not scared to take a long, hard look at themselves in order to know themselves better. They're introspective, which means they think about how they feel and what they want out of life. Because they spend a lot of time considering their inner world, they have a level of insight that other people lack.
Their deep introspection allows them to clearly define how they want to show up in relationships and how they want to be treated. As a result, they require people in their lives to meet their emotional needs, which fake friends usually can't do.
9. They protect their energy
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People who would rather be alone than have fake friends are incredibly aware of their own mental and emotional well-being.
They know which social interactions give them energy and which ones are draining. They don't like to be around people who take more than they give or friends who use them as an emotional dumping ground for all their problems.
They're highly attuned to what brings them joy and they avoid environments that don't provide the energy they're seeking. They protect their inner peace by avoiding fake friends, and they'd rather be alone than compromise what makes them feel their best.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.