10 Traits People Judge You On Before They Even Get To Know You
Every move you make is open to criticism.
Vladimir Arndt | Shutterstock Nobody likes the feeling of being judged, especially by people we don't know. But when it comes down to it, we can't help but wonder why other people are so judgmental in the first place.
Sometimes, people will judge you because you're ill-mannered, while other times there is no reason other than insecurity. As psychologist Dana Harron explains, "People judge others to avoid reckoning with potential feelings of inferiority and shame."
But if you're trying to minimize another person's judgment, it's important to know what exactly to be aware of.
Here are 10 traits people judge you on before they even get to know you
1. Your nervous behavior
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People like confidence, whether it's in a random socialization or in romantic relationships. In fact, one study found that potential partners viewed those who were confident (but not arrogant) as more attractive.
But if you're an anxious mess, this can have the opposite effect. When people see you as unreliable or insecure, they will view you as weak-minded and unattractive, making it harder to win them over.
2. Your phone usage
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People are on their phones now more than ever, with research suggesting that depression and anxiety are significantly linked with smartphone overuse. Though we know constant use of our phones is not good for us, using your phone often could cause people to judge you more harshly.
People absolutely despise others who can't get off their phones and enjoy the moment. One study even cited that phone use takes away the enjoyment people derive from real-world social interactions.
3. Your handshake
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Don't underestimate the power of a firm handshake. One study from the University of Alabama found that a firmer handshake showed greater openness and confidence.
As for a limp handshake, the study determined that people who use this type of contact are neurotic and shy. So, the next time you're meeting someone new, be sure to use a firm handshake to change the way they may judge you at first.
4. Your tardiness
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Many people know the terrifying feeling of running late. While there are often reasons for being late that can be excused, if you make it a habit, it might just work against you.
People tend to view those who are tardy as less reliable, disrespectful, and irresponsible. It makes you subject to severe criticism without anyone ever getting to know you. Do yourself a favor and show up on time.
5. Your weight
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The world can get pretty judgmental. Unfortunately, a person's weight is not exempt from that judgment or criticism. People will judge you if you're too skinny or too big, regardless of how healthy you are.
And the impact of this judgment is severe, with one study saying, "Strong evidence supports obesity stigma as an important contributor to poor mental health outcomes for people living with obesity, who are 32% more likely to develop depression compared with their normal-weight counterparts."
However, this judgment doesn't just extend to everyday people; it extends to healthcare providers as well, with the study also concluding, "There is growing evidence that healthcare providers have strong explicit and implicit biases against people with obesity."
6. Your posture
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Having poor posture might make you more susceptible to judgment from others. If you find yourself slouching or refusing to sit up straight, this can come off to people as uncaring. You can lose out on opportunities since it appears you aren't taking things seriously.
To avoid this, remind yourself to sit up straight. If necessary, have a friend remind you if they notice your posture seems off. It may be annoying at first and you'll likely be adjusting yourself frequently, but all good things take practice.
7. Your manners
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Having good manners will always get you compliments, or at the least unspoken respect. Poor manners, on the other hand, certainly won't. If you have bad habits like burping, chewing noisily, or spilling drinks, these can quickly leave you open to others' judgment.
People will judge you if you come off as rude or disrespectful, but that honesty shouldn't be surprising. Because nobody likes an inconsiderate person, especially strangers.
8. Your volume
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When you're in a public space, be sure to keep your volume down. People don't like individuals who are inconsiderate to others around them, and nobody wants to shop or eat with someone who can't control their volume.
It's not only annoying, but can be embarrassing for your friends and family. After all, nobody wants to be associated with that disrespectful behavior. So, do yourself (and them) a favor and keep your voice down; otherwise, you leave yourself vulnerable to being judged.
9. Your outward appearance
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Depending on what you wear, people will judge you. If you're stepping out of your flashy car with a nice outfit on, people might assume you're successful and view you more favorably. But if you dress poorly or have worn out garb, people will view you as uncaring and straight-up sloppy.
One study found that people who dressed "richer" were more likely to be viewed as competent, while people who dressed "poorer" struggled with others acknowledging their capabilities.
That doesn't mean you need to dress fancy no matter where you go, but you can avoid this judgment by putting just a little bit of effort into your appearance.
10. Your actions
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Actions have consequences — and yours are no exception. If you yell at a service worker, cut lines, or roll your eyes at other people, it's not a good look. How you act in public can shape the way you are perceived, and people don't view rudeness or unpleasant behavior well.
Be sure to be kind to others, say excuse me and wait for your turn, and be patient and towards those around you. If you get frustrated, remember you can simply leave.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.