14 Underrated Traits Of People Who Are Highly Respected
Want to be respected more? Follow these simple behaviorial tips.
filadendron | Canva Are there things we can do that influence other people’s perceptions of us? Years of stumbling through life and being fascinated by human behavior answered this question for me.
Here are 14 underrated traits of people who are highly respected:
1. They let others speak
Speaking less demonstrates comfort in one’s skin if coupled with a relaxed demeanor and adds to your sense of mystery. Talking less and listening more can earn you respect in several ways, including building trust, being a stronger conversationalist, being open and thoughtful, being mysterious, being in control, and being a good listener, according to research by Leadership Inspirations.
2. They don't fidget
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Quick movements and fidgeting make you appear nervous. Being relaxed and moving slowly can earn you respect by projecting confidence, composure, and control. A study published by Frontiers in Psychology indicates that you are not easily flustered or pressured and can make thoughtful decisions even in stressful situations. It shows that you are "in the moment" and not rushing to react impulsively.
3. They hold people’s eye contact
Nothing says ‘I’m confident and I am interested in other people’ than holding someone’s gaze, especially for a little longer than you might feel comfortable.
4. They say what others wouldn't dare to say
Occasionally, say something that needs to be said that no one else is daring to say. Speak your mind honestly. Recently, Zenger Folkman researched the impact of bold leadership. Bold leaders speak up in difficult conversations, take risks, volunteer for assignments, and often think in unconventional ways.
5. They have control of their emotions
Reactive people don’t leave space between a triggering stimulus and their emotional response. Remain stoic.
6. They're focused
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How refreshing is it to see someone speaking to someone who is actively attentive? It is becoming rare. Instant respect. According to psychology, focusing on what you can give, resist, and exude can help you earn respect. Respect is important because it helps people feel safe and express themselves. It also reflects two core motives of social life: the need to belong and the striving for status.
7. They're not instantly available
You don’t always need to be there or respond to that text instantly. The more scarce anything is, the higher its perceived value.
8. They're unapologetically themselves
If there was one way to have people fall in love with you, it’s to follow your weirdness. Allow your quirky, fun side to come out. According to psychologist Nancy C. Andreasen, the average person will “quickly respond to situations based on what they have been told by people in authority.” However, a weird person is less likely to listen to authority or understand social rules.
“Creatives,” she says, “live in a vaguer, fluid, nebulous world,” and although “a highly original person may seem odd or strange to others… and may have to confront criticism or rejection for being too questioning, or too unconventional”, this kind of social weirdness is precisely what leads people to creative breakthroughs.
9. They actively listen
Give people the space for you to process what they say properly. Allow a few extra seconds. This is rare and will set you apart.
10. They dress sharply
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The seemingly superficial can make a huge difference. Dress well and you will feel better and create an entirely different impression versus looking scruffy. People form opinions of you before you speak, and your clothes are the first thing they see. Dressing well can show that you're confident, sophisticated, and intelligent. When you wear clothes that make you feel good, you exude a positive vibe, and people will treat you with more respect, research confirms.
11. They speak purposefully
Talk slower, and you will calm down, elevate your perceived status, and garner respect.
12. They don't people-please
Pleasing people does not lead to increased respect. Instead, be valuable and serve people when it’s appropriate.
Psychologically, not trying to impress everyone earns you respect because it demonstrates authenticity, self-confidence, and a genuine connection with others rather than a calculated attempt to gain approval, which can often be perceived as inauthentic and manipulative. Essentially, people value genuineness and trust those comfortable being themselves without needing external validation, as explained in 2013 research.
13. They're not afraid to take up space
People respect those who aren’t afraid to take up a little extra space.
14. They give without expectation
Most people are running around giving things to people with expectations tied to their ‘charity.’ Be different. Grow your tribe by giving value to one person at a time. Giving without expectation can earn respect because it demonstrates a selfless and altruistic nature. Practicing unconditional love, or loving without expecting anything in return, can also help you gain respect.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.