People Who Are Eternally Fascinating To Be Around Have These 10 Traits, According To Psychology
Make everyone wonder about you ... in a good way.
Troy Wade | Unsplash We live in a world where everyone shouts to be heard and seen. Going against the grain will give you momentum and is good for your mental health because you aren’t competing with the majority.
According to research, here’s how to be different and nurture an air of mystery that will make you eternally fascinating to other people.
People who are eternally fascinating to be around have these traits:
1. They don't share everything off the bat
Most people jabber on about all kinds of junk, and a lot of that stuff is fabricated nonsense designed to fill awkward silences and embellish who they are. Those who turn heads don’t speak as much as most and don’t reveal everything about themselves.
But when they do, it’s straight honesty. Perhaps you take the courage to share what feels uncomfortable, or you’re willing to admit when you made a mistake. This kind of communication is refreshing and relieves stress because you aren’t walking around trying to be anyone you're not.
2. They create intrigue
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Coughing out everything about you too early will be met as one would greet a cat’s hairball — indifference at best. Create intrigue by holding back on sharing all your gripes, woes, stories, and personal plans. If others know it all, there’s no more incentive to find out more.
Creating intrigue attracts others by sparking their curiosity and imagination. It makes them want to learn more about you because you present yourself as somewhat mysterious or unknown.
A study published by Personality and Individual Differences explained that this can be alluring and encourage them to engage further in conversation or interaction to uncover more details about you.
3. They follow their strange
Most people spend their lives doing things for others instead of for themselves. The power to conform and seek approval is strong for many.
But mysterious people buck this force and follow their strange. They listen to their inner sub-woofer and do what intrigues them. Follow your intrigue, and you, in turn, will be intriguing.
4. They're genuinely curious about others
Finding a genuine interest in others will set you apart. Not only will this get you valuable intel about other people, which you can learn from, but it will place attention away from you and onto others. This keeps people guessing while poking their curiosity about you.
Research published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Magazine explained that being curious about others attracts people to you because it demonstrates a genuine interest in getting to know them. This fosters a sense of connection and makes them feel valued. It also signals good listening skills, empathy, and an openness to learning about different perspectives, all of which are highly desirable qualities in social interactions.
5. They know their purpose
We don’t always need a verbalized life mission to act with purpose, but it might help to know what it is you're striving for.
You needn’t tell people what it is, but this awareness will enliven you, infuse vigor into your actions, and put a sparkle in your eye. People will wonder what you’re up to and why you’re not always available.
6. They disappear occasionally
Color will drain from the vision people have of you if you’re always seen. Mystery will fade if you show up in someone’s face at 9 a.m. sharp every day.
Strategically disappear occasionally. Make people miss you. Have others wonder about whether they offended you a little. When you return, your presence will be a relief and a pleasant surprise.
A study published by BMC Psychology explained that the occasional disappearance can attract others to you due to the concept of the chase or the mystery. This concept plays on the human desire for validation and the intrigue of the unknown. It is sometimes linked to the idea of scarcity, where something perceived as limited becomes more desirable.
7. They're a tad mischievous
While everyone else is on their best behavior, desperately seeking validation and obsessively focused on avoiding offending others, you’re a cheeky little sprite. This requires some finesse, but in short, it’s okay to occasionally tease, use a sprinkling of light-hearted humor, and demonstrate that you’re enjoying yourself — which you are.
8. They let others discover them
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It might strike you as a no-brainer to blurt out your recent achievements when given the opportunity, but that’s too easy. Let others learn about your little successes and talents on their own or only after light prompting.
When they do, the effect will be felt with an extra dash of electricity, and their admiration for you will jump. Letting others discover you rather than actively pursuing attention can attract people by creating a sense of intrigue, authenticity, and effortlessness in your interactions.
An article published by Boston University explained that this can be more appealing than overt self-promotion. It aligns with concepts like the mere exposure effect and the desire for genuine connection.
9. They cold-read other people
In a similar vein to cold-reading, adopt the persona of a magician with a vision and make some guesses about the kind of person you are with. These needn’t be easily verified claims, like someone’s place of birth, but rather, tell someone what you think they would enjoy that they haven’t yet tried, for example.
10. They're unexpected
Earlier, we spoke about occasionally disappearing. This is an excellent example of taking a pattern of expectation others have for you (showing up every day, for example) and switching it up.
Be unexpected in other areas. You may change the way you work or dress or the type of topics you write about. You might give someone a surprise gift who least expects it.
Being unexpected can attract others to you because it breaks the monotony, piques curiosity, and creates a sense of intrigue. The element of surprise makes you stand out from the crowd and leaves a lasting impression.
Research published by the University of Kansas concluded that it violates someone's expectations, which can lead to increased interest and attraction.
Have fun and mix things up. This will create a delicious air of mystery around you to which people will be inexplicably drawn.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.