Flaky People Who Always Cancel Plans Usually Use These 10 Tired Excuses
Instead of saying they don't feel like going, flaky people will simply lie.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock There's no greater annoyance than someone canceling plans at the last minute and using a lame excuse. The tired excuses flaky people who always cancel plans usually use can include being forgetful, not feeling well, having car trouble, and even faking a family emergency. No matter the excuse, they don't tell the truth, and that's the most frustrating part.
Flaky people can always be honest and simply admit they don't feel like going out, but they lie to protect themselves and the way others see them. As a result, their excuses become a pattern, and the opposite often ends up happening, with the friends or loved ones seeing them as untrustworthy, and not offering invitations to events anymore.
Here are 10 tired excuses flaky people who always cancel plans usually use
1. 'I'm not feeling well'
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Flaky people who always cancel plans usually use the tired excuse, "I'm not feeling well." While they may actually be feeling sick and need to cancel, not wanting to get anyone else sick, if they use this excuse often, it becomes more of a "boy who cried wolf" situation.
Still, after using the same justification over and over, it gets to be more annoying. After all, being left alone at the last minute is already the worst feeling. But being left alone and being lied to? That's just rude.
According to clinical psychotherapist Padraic Gibson, lying can impact self-esteem and emotions, leading to negative psychological damage. So, while a flaky person might truly believe they're sparing other people's feelings by faking an illness, all they're accomplishing is creating dissonance and mistrust in the relationship.
2. 'I forgot I had another thing planned'
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Saying they had other plans they forgot about is one of the tired excuses flaky people who always cancel plans usually use. And while everyone makes mistakes and ends up having overlapping events, flaky people do this all the time, using these mistakes to ditch their loved ones out of pure laziness.
Of course, they should be given grace if it's a one-off thing, but any more than that becomes a pattern. On one hand, they might have truly forgotten or are terrible at keeping their schedule together, but more often than not, this pattern stems from a desire to lie rather than tell the truth.
According to clinical hypnotist Ran D. Anbar, "Lying can be harmful because, when discovered, it erodes trust, which greatly complicates interpersonal relationships. A liar can face loss of credibility or embarrassment... Lying can hurt others, such as when the liar gains an unfair advantage."
While they might think they're sparing their loved ones the cold, hard truth, the only thing they're truly accomplishing is frustration and troubles in their personal relationships.
3. 'Sorry, work is crazy right now'
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Everyone gets caught up at work sometimes and just wants to go home after a long day on the job. Maybe they didn't finish a project on time, are dealing with staff shortages, or have an overbearing boss. Whatever it is, using the excuse that "work was busy" is typically only reserved once in a blue moon.
However, this reasoning can only get someone so far. While they think they're being strategic and smart, it's frustrating just how obvious flaky people can be when they try to avoid sticking to the plans they made. Rather than being upfront and simply telling the truth, these individuals actively choose to lie rather than simply say, "I don't feel like it."
Unfortunately, refusing to tell the truth often can create resentment. According to the Gottman Institute, in romantic relationships, resentment leads to contempt, which can lead to a breakup or divorce. But even if someone isn't doing this to their romantic partner and is lying to their friends, the results are the same: lying will end a relationship or friendship.
4. 'I thought it was another day'
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Sometimes, the days pass people by, and what started as agreeing to hang out turns into forgetting until the last possible minute, causing them to cancel. It's incredibly annoying, especially when the plans have been set for weeks or months, but most people will give their loved ones a free pass as long as their behavior reflects genuine care.
Flaky people, on the other hand, won't usually take accountability for their actions. Regardless of whether they meant to or not, when someone says they'll show and don't, this requires deep reflection and a sincere apology.
Not only does this ensure that the relationship doesn't grow tense, but through taking accountability, people learn and mature. According to research published in Clinical Psychology Review, when someone has a sense of agency over themselves, it creates greater feelings of competence. So, if someone can't tell the truth to others, at the very least they should tell the truth to benefit themselves.
5. 'I have a family emergency'
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If there's one excuse that is guaranteed to work, it's a pretend family emergency. Many people have been in a position where they had to leave work early or cancel on a friend, but people can usually empathize and understand why taking care of family first is so important.
Still, it doesn't stop flaky people from using this as an excuse to not show up. While most people would like to believe that a person wouldn't lie about a family emergency, there are individuals out there who will do exactly that. Whether it's an elderly family member in the hospital or an injured child, they may even divulge specific details despite lying in the first place.
According to career website Zety's research, 65% of people surveyed use family emergencies as an excuse to get out of work; 31% of respondents even lied about a family member dying to avoid coming into the office.
6. 'I didn't see your message until now'
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Sometimes, people lose track of time in their busy lives. If they accidentally miss a text message reminding them of an upcoming plan, it isn't always intentional. But supposedly not seeing the messages of the plans is one of the tired excuses flaky people who always cancel plans usually use.
This excuse is pretty flimsy. While they might have truly not seen the message, more often than not, people are almost always on their phone or glance at their phone frequently. To sit here and say that they didn't see the message is a red flag that someone is lying.
What makes this worse is that flaky people use this excuse often. And constantly repeating the same mistake is bound to lead to tension in any relationship. According to psychotherapist Katherine Cullen, having repeated arguments creates more stress and depletes trust and safety in a relationship.
If someone truly doesn't want to stick to plans they should just be honest, as staying upfront with loved ones is much better than lying and making the relationship tense.
7. 'I'm really anxious right now'
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According to the World Health Organization, 301 million people all over the globe suffer from anxiety, which can impact their communication. From not wanting to hang out to avoiding phone calls, anxiety is something that can completely destroy a person's life if it's not managed properly.
But just because someone has anxiety doesn't give them an excuse to completely brush someone off. Flaky people often use their anxiety to avoid taking accountability for their hurtful behavior. And while anxiety is a real thing, allowing anxiety to control a person's life is a different matter entirely.
Too often, people use their anxiety to excuse their bad behavior or poor communication. However, after a while, their anxiety becomes less of a valid reason and more of a shield to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
8. 'My car is acting up'
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Another of the seriously tired excuses flaky people who always cancel plans usually use is that their car isn't working properly. While cars will break down from time to time, there are always other options to adhere to set plans, like taking an Uber, asking to be picked up, or having a friend or family member drop them off.
Rather than being honest, flaky people continue to lie to avoid going out. It not only makes them appear rude, but if there are people attending the event that they haven't met before, it can create a bad first impression. Even being late can give off that same negative impression.
According to experts from Quantified, "Whether you realize it or not, you start making your first impression the moment you're scheduled to arrive, whether it's a first date, a formal presentation, or a team meeting. If you're running late, your audience is forming their first impression without you. And it's not a good one. No matter the real reason, lack of punctuality communicates that you're disorganized, lazy, and/or disrespectful."
9. 'Sorry, I overslept'
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Oversleeping happens from time to time. Maybe someone forgot to set their alarm, slept through it, or reasoned in their subconscious and half-awake mind that they had more time. No matter what it is, people who don't intentionally mean to be flaky will almost always apologize and make it right. But people who are used to lying likely won't.
Oversleeping constantly is either a sign of irresponsibility or simply not wanting to show up. Either way, it isn't a good look. According to one survey from Career Builder, oversleeping is the second most common "white lie" people use when they show up late to work, specifically.
Still, there's no reason to not be upfront and honest with people you've made plans with. After all, being disrespectful of someone's time is sure to make them less trusting.
10. 'My phone is being weird'
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This excuse is not only frustrating, but a bit strange. Not only is it incredibly overused by flaky individuals, but there's more than one way to get in touch with someone. That includes over social media messaging or a landline. In fact, using a lie like this may indicate a symptom of something deeper.
Clinical psychologist David Ley, PhD says that pathological liars have specific reasons for lying, even if they don't quite make sense to honest individuals. "Some people get so accustomed to lying that they do so even when there is no clear purpose, and when their lies are easily disproven, leaving everyone scratching their heads over the point of their deceptions," he pointed out.
One of the main reasons people lie when they don't need to is due to not wanting to disappoint others. Ley added, "It may not feel like it to you, but people who tell lie after lie are often worried about losing the respect of those around them. They want you to like them, be impressed, and value them. And they're worried that the truth might lead you to reject or shame them."
All that being said, it's important to be honest with others when you don't feel like going out or sticking to plans. In the end, it will cause less of a headache for everyone involved.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
