6 Tiny Signs You’re Struggling At Life
It's never too late to change your trajectory.
lemaret pierrick's Images | Canva, Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock If you relate to these six signs, your life is likely a challenge — and it's going to continue to be unless you make some changes.
Here are 6 tiny signs you're struggling in life:
1. You prioritize others over your freedom
So many people sacrifice their joy to please others, often a partner or family member. Yes, I get it — there are people in our lives who need support. But here’s where you invite unnecessary struggle: you fail to put yourself first. Many de-prioritize themselves out of choice. You can support others without eroding your freedoms and joys. You must make non-negotiable time for your freedom. The most selfless thing you can do is to put yourself first.
2. You lack the courage to choose one thing
A super reliable way to ensure your life becomes harder is never to have the guts to focus intensely on one thing. Sure, enjoy novelty and try lots of stuff. But this can’t replace the need to go all-in on one thing. Write that book to completion. Build that happy family. Learn Russian until fluent. Stop quitting businesses that need a few more weeks of your attention. Follow through and stop changing tracks at the first sign of discomfort. When you stretch yourself between many things, you can’t enjoy the fruits of your hard work.
3. You’re immovable in your judgments
Finding empathy for your friends and your loved ones is not hard. Finding the strength in you to empathize with someone you dislike — now that’s bold, and this will lead to a long life for you. Finding this capacity in you to be open to understanding another, no matter how angry they make you, even if they’re unethical, will serve you the most. To hate is to live in the painful rigidity and overwhelm of strain. You make yourself weaker, clouded, and less resourceful. As Confucius said, "If you hate a person, you are defeated by them."
4. You expect the world to make you happy
If you believe you’re entitled to happiness, you’re going to suffer. It may seem empowering to view yourself as an elevated being who deserves all kinds of crap from others, but you ultimately lose the most. You lose because your philosophy is enmeshed in victimhood, and your joy depends on what happens outside of your control. You must take responsibility for it all. Only this can ensure a vibrant life.
5. You can’t forgive
Those who can’t forgive — both their younger selves and others who did them wrong — suffer until death. If you can’t find a way to understand why you did what you did, and to love who you were regardless, you’ll live as a traitor in someone else’s body. If you can’t find a way to comprehend what others did and see that they did what they believed was rational given their limited thinking at the time, you welcome tragedy. You lose because you slowly poison your mind, body, and soul. This emanates from the stress and negative energy required to sustain your resistance to what is.
6. You are terrified of feeling bored
I’ve discussed boredom before, and many don’t get why I continue to raise this point. Boredom — that feeling of discomfort in the present moment — very often prompts people to do things that don’t serve them. They escape to porn. They over-eat. They shag twenty strangers in quick succession. They binge-watch crap on Netflix. The most alive and productive people have found a friend in boredom. We can call her ‘Lady Prickle.’ They welcome the feeling mindfully. They find a way to bring humor. They wine and dine her until she provides gifts. What gifts? More energy, creative insight, enthusiasm for living, and trust in your inconceivable power.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient