6 Tiny Reminders That Your Life Is Worth Living
A grief coach shares an exercise that can help ground you when you feel overwhelmed and hopeless.
kraken images / shutterstockWe all have days when we wonder what the heck we’re doing and why we’re doing it. The world has a way of knocking us down and sometimes we’re treated unjustly or are taken advantage of.
We may disappoint ourselves by not listening to our inner voice. We may be easily persuaded to do something we don’t want to, or set goals for ourselves and don’t take steps to reach them.
All of the above, especially in accumulation, can make us feel that we’re not providing any value in the world.
Yet, for me and many, it seems that valuing ourselves becomes a mindset. In fact, most of life boils down to our mindset. Since we know the world can be unkind, preparing a mental structure around our values can help us stay centered when life decides to send difficulty our way.
When working with clients, I find that developing this mental structure helps us focus on concrete ways to stay centered and on-track with goals. This is one of the exercises we use to build that structure, and it can work for you, too.
Here are six small things to help remind you of your self-value
1. You are worth more than the money you make
Society tells you that money is more important than it is. Granted, you need money to survive, and when you are out of work, in between jobs, or changing careers, you may have bouts of feeling inadequate or worthless because you’re not sporting an income.
You and others may even judge people as less than if they aren’t working, regardless of their situation.
Your personality, energy, creativity, kindness, compassion, inspiration, friendship, care, and heart have greater significance in your life than the sum of your annual income.
2. You won’t be liked by everyone — and you wouldn't want to be
People perceive you with similar limitations as they would if they looked at a field through a hole in the fence. They make judgments about you from what little bit they see and can’t possibly know the full you.
Some people will be drawn to you and your qualities and other people won’t. Sometimes people have no idea why they don’t like you — that’s just the way it is.
Regardless if they feel threatened, jump to conclusions about who you are, or simply aren’t compatible with you, know that these perceptions need not be your truth.
Accept that some people won’t like you just as you don’t like other people. It’s ok and natural. Let go of any expectations to the contrary.
3. You can (and do) learn from your mistakes
Sometimes your fear of making mistakes overshadows your usual work ethic and relationship rapport, or you may tend to create an issue in your own mind due to anticipation of a potential mistake’s backlash.
When you make a mistake, you may spiral into a panic of unhealthy thinking. Unfortunately, it is human nature to focus on the things that have gone wrong despite the myriad of things that have gone swimmingly well.
Highlight all the things that went well up until and after a mistake. There’s no reason to allow a mistake to permanently damage your sense of self.
Remember: Making mistakes is a surefire way to promote growth, even if other people have forgotten that.
Pick yourself up by your bootstraps, learn whatever lesson is available from the situation, and carry on with your awesome self.
4. You have powerful strengths that you can name and focus on
Knowing your strengths is the backbone of weathering a storm or riding out the unpredictable tide.
Strengths can be things like being creative, dependable, hardworking, a fast learner, a people person, or kindness and consideration. Everyone has strengths.
Strengths help form a clear picture of how you can move forward and handle one situation to the next - a roadmap to personal success and potentially less stress when the going gets tough.
Your strengths are with you every step of the way, buoying your everyday situations, and supporting you when challenges arise.
5. You can identify where you want to improve, and put plans into action to do so
Just as important as knowing your strengths is knowing aspects of yourself that could be improved. This provides solid personal insight and can prevent costly missteps down the line.
When you know areas within yourself that need additional development, you can bring people into your life who are better at those skills or qualities for assistance. These folks can help you grow those aspects or take care of them completely in support of your success.
Knowing your weaknesses can also further help you pinpoint your strengths.
6. A higher power is supporting you every step of the way
Even if you can’t see what value you’re providing in a specific situation, it doesn’t mean your value doesn’t exist. All it means is that you’re potentially not privy to that information at the moment.
Take comfort in the fact that a higher power is looking out for you, leading you to situations that are helpful to you and to others. Each experience is a chance to collect information about yourself, how you feel and if change is desired or necessary.
If you do not believe in a higher power, you can take comfort in your own inspiration to share experiences, initiate change, and help others.
You can always ask others too, if you feel comfortable and safe to hear honest answers about the value you are and that you bring. An outside perspective can help us adjust or fine-tune our own, often seeing things we don’t realize.
Pamela Aloia is a certified grief coach, intuitive/medium, and author supporting people through change and enhancing their lives and experiences via energy awareness, meditation, and mindfulness.