9 Tiny Habits That Will Make You A Better Communicator Than 98% Of People

I was not a good communicator for most of my life.

But we need to communicate well to influence and persuade others effectively.

People told me I needed to stop mumbling and listen better.

Starting particularly awkward forced me to learn what I could about being better. I’m still learning, but I’m far better.

Here are 9 tiny habits that will make you a better communicator than 98% of people:

1. Speak for your listener.

Many people lose their audience because they speak in a way they understand, but their audience does not.

They use jargon, flamboyant words, and complex explanations that are at a different level to their listener’s comprehension.

A good communicator has a good sense of what their audience does and doesn’t know, and they will ask questions beforehand if necessary so that they know how to say it best.

2. Show empathy.

There’s a big difference between being a submissive and nodding donkey who agrees with everything others say and being empathetic.

When you demonstrate you can understand their perspective occasionally, even if it’s simple: ‘I agree,’ you will disarm people, creating harmony.

3. Ask questions.

Questions do a couple of things.

Firstly, they demonstrate your interest in another person, which helps them feel respected and heard.

Secondly, they encourage the other person to share more. Hence, you gain more intel on their perspective, which allows you to build further empathy and ensures you steer clear of basing your communication on assumptions.

This also allows you to make your collaboration far more effective than butting heads and forcing your viewpoint on someone.

4. Properly listen.

Very few people truly listen.

Watch conversations others are having, and you’ll see most people are focused on what they’re saying and what to say next while sort of pretending to listen.

Great communicators rely on actually listening.

Your subsequent communication will be truly effective when you hear what’s being said, even beyond the words and into non-verbal cues.

Why?

Because now you’re talking with someone instead of talking at them.

5. Speak concisely.

Great communicators are conscious of adding unnecessary words and being long-winded.

They have also developed the habit of speaking clearly so others don’t have to keep asking them to repeat themselves.

They say more with fewer words.

They know their objective, get to the point, and don’t ramble.

They prize impact and efficiency over making more noise.

6. Slow down and use silence.

Most people jabber on with pace, with no concern for the impact of their words.

They are concerned more with the fact they are talking than what the point of it all is.

Great speakers see speaking as a powerful tool, one that requires respect.

Speaking is seen as a craft to master.

With that, they are comfortable slowing down and using strategic silences to deliver a point.

7. Not self-conscious.

After you have read these tips, internalize them as best you can, but then let go of trying to remember them all when you’re communicating.

The best communicators aren’t thinking of how they’re coming across with intense self-awareness.

They are present and in flow, focused on what others are saying.

They have their attention on serving those they are communicating with.

They aren’t trying to think of the next clever thing to say.

They have faith that what they need to say will come up in the moment. This is far more likely to work for them when they are relaxed.

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Again, this takes practice and regular exposure to opportunities for communicating.

8. Don’t interrupt.

Interrupting people is disrespectful and demonstrates we aren’t listening.

This not only means we have less information to inform a richer discussion, but it also sets the tone for an ongoing amateur communication style which can devolve into arguments and conflict.

9. Use respectful honesty.

Great communicators are willing to go to places that are a little uncomfortable.

This takes courage and garners respect.

But they are mindful of saying necessary things and coming from a place of genuine care for the listener, as opposed to a place of insecurity and a need to inflict harm on another.

This takes practice, but you want to prioritize being honest in your communications to develop confidence in yourself and your speaking power.

Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.